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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289474">Beware the mountain beast, it will swallow your heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandeyebrows/pseuds/sunshineandeyebrows'>sunshineandeyebrows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Asexual Character, Dry Humping, Feelings, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Marking, Mild Hand Kink, Nature, Nipple Play, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Philosophical Bullshit, Photography, Porn with Feelings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Socks, a lot of cute animals and descriptions of the sky, again - it's a lot less angsty than it sounds, all bad parts are just momentary or mentioned very briefly, fake deep bullshit, i promise it's actually not as serious as it sounds, jeno is a boob guy i'm sorry, just mentioned as well, mention of drugs, minor original character(s)' death, only mentioned - Freeform, thigh fucking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:35:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>51,667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289474</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandeyebrows/pseuds/sunshineandeyebrows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The sky is dark and clear, of a truly beautiful indigo hue, stars twinkling brightly without the light pollution that tags along with big cities.</p><p>"It feels kind of," Mark searches for the right words and Jaemin waits, staring into the sky. "Endless," Mark says finally. "It's like we could get swallowed by eternity, emerge back at any given point in time. Like everything is nothing and nothing is everything."</p><p>Jaemin's chest expands at the words, the stars so close he could reach out and pluck a few right out of the inky darkness. Leave it to Mark to be able to put that feeling into words.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>352</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallisaRose/gifts">CallisaRose</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I really wanted to finish this for your birthday, but here we are, almost two months later (kill me).<br/>You're a very special existence to me, you know. Sometimes, it feels like I dreamed you, and other times you're the most real thing in my life. I hope this monstrosity will satisfy your cheesiness and your love for magic. Everything in here is for you, even though some things are also for me. The mountains are for you, the cats are for you, Winter is for you. All of that fake deep bullshit is for you. The clouds and the stars are for you. There is no snow, but there is a promise of it, so maybe that's enough? Whatever you find here, I'm giving you all of it, take as much as you want.</p><p> </p><p><b>DISCLAIMERS</b><br/>Disclaimer #1: I have (sadly) never been to Korea, any and all info in here is from the internet, and I only took enough to do whatever I want with it, so don't @ me<br/>Disclaimer #2: I have no idea how you train birds and I also didn't feel like checking what rangers actually do (I just wanted Jeno in knee high socks)</p><p>(this was supposed to be under 25k and I hate myself a lot already, so please don't be mean to me, if you decide to leave a comment, thank)</p><p>i made a playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/354iqEcnv36UclRyQ56bpZ?si=_WLOnslOTtqqkYbN-cE57g</p><p> </p><p>  <b>definitely check out the tags before reading this</b></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaemin thinks it's pointless. Mark thinks it's necessary. Jaemin never really had the ability to go against Mark’s wishes and so, they're standing in front of a guesthouse in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by miles upon miles of woods and mountains. The weather is starting to get a little bit chilly; fall is slowly creeping up on them, even though it's only the beginning of September. Jaemin wishes he wore jeans instead of shorts. True to Mark's words, there aren't many people around. They just about fitted into the gap between two streams of tourists - the summer one and the fall one. Jaemin wants to go home to his laptop and job hunting. All money he has saved up thanks to his two part-time jobs is going to disappear after two weeks in a national park of all places. Mark was so excited about planning a retreat for just the two of them after the hell year they've had, though. Jaemin couldn't refuse.</p><p>"There are deer with fangs here, can you believe that?" Mark is talking, a huge grin on his face, as his arms move efficiently to get their bags out of the trunk.</p><p>Jaemin has heard about deer with fangs at least seven times already, so yes, he can believe it. Apparently, people who monitor endangered species around here decided to help make Siberian musk deer a little less endangered. There are special areas for the deer, and they've gotten so used to humans, they sometimes come close enough to let themselves be petted. There are also all kinds of other animals around here. Jaemin knows about them more than he'd like, because Mark just wouldn't shut up.</p><p>"Let's just check in first, then you can go and hike and look at fanged deer all you like, yeah?" Jaemin suggests.</p><p>Mark was adamant about packing into backpacks instead of suitcases, because it's more appropriate for mountains or something, even though they're going to leave the luggage in their room anyway. Jaemin heaves up his own enormous backpack and moves to the entrance, trying not to grunt under the weight he's carrying.</p><p>The guesthouse is so very mountains-and-forests, it's ridiculous. Everything Jaemin can see is made of wood. The counter in the main hall looks like it was carved out of a single, gigantic piece of tree. Photographs of breathtaking views are hanging on the walls and Jaemin feels a painful twinge in his chest. He hasn't touched his camera since the funeral and he misses it so terribly.</p><p>"Welcome to Mount Wolchul National Park!"</p><p>Jaemin flinches, having focused too much on the interior to notice the receptionist. In his defense, the man is half hidden behind a plastic model of the famous Cloud Bridge that takes up most of the counter space. There is also a box full of the Siberian musk deer plushies.</p><p>"Um, hi," Jaemin says awkwardly.</p><p>The man (although he doesn't look older than eighteen) laughs at his startled face. Jaemin isn't sure he should be treating customers in such a way, but he's too out of his depth to say something about it. Besides, it's kind of refreshing to hear some laughter. He and Mark haven't had a lot of reasons to smile recently, much less laugh. Jaemin knows Mark's sudden enthusiasm for their little vacation is at least half forced, but if there is even the tiniest genuine bit somewhere in there, then Jaemin is going to spend two weeks in fucking nature and try to enjoy himself just to make sure it doesn't disappear.</p><p>"Hello!" Mark says, stopping next to him with his own backpack and a smile. "We have a reservation under Mark Lee?"</p><p>"Okay, let me just check you in real quick," the man (boy?) chirps happily and turns to the computer.</p><p>He has one of those faces that are hard to picture without a smile, and his hair is purple.</p><p>"You're lucky, there aren't many customers right now, there's finally gonna be some peace and quiet," he says, reaching to the wall behind him to grab their key. "Summer was crazy, let me tell ya, even the campsite was absolutely packed," he passes the key to Mark along with a pamphlet on the park's most important points. "Here, you have a room with the view of mountains, third floor. If you want to hike, be sure to check what to take with you and keep to the trails, we don't want you eaten by a bear or something, right?"</p><p>Jaemin freezes.</p><p>"A bear?" he repeats slowly.</p><p>The boy smirks. He's definitely a boy, Jaemin decides.</p><p>"I'm kidding, it would be a miracle, if you stumbled upon a bear. The trails are safe, if you're not reckless enough to like, go into the woods and get lost. Or, you know, fall off of the Cloud Bridge because of your own stupidity. Oh, we opened a new thing this year, you can see falconers train and feed hawks! Please refrain from trying to feed them yourself, there was already a guy who almost lost his finger in the summer."</p><p>Jaemin gulps. The mountains are dangerous, obviously, but somehow, he didn't realize just how much.</p><p>"Man, that sounds awful," Mark grimaces. "Is he okay?"</p><p>The receptionist shrugs.</p><p>"He ended up with eight stitches and mild trauma, could have been worse. My name is Chenle, by the way, if you need anything, please find one of the other staff, I'm barely even qualified for reception." He leans closer to them to add in a too loud whisper, "It was mostly desperation. I came here to visit my best friend for the summer and ended up getting roped into working, because they're horribly understaffed. Three people quit this year, you see."</p><p>"Should you be telling us that?" Jaemin asks in surprise.</p><p>Not that he hates gossip.</p><p>Chenle waves his hand dismissively.</p><p>"They don't even pay me, I can do whatever I want."</p><p>Mark chuckles at the aloof attitude. Jaemin already knows Chenle is going to be one of Mark's favorite people around here. </p><p>They thank Chenle and take the stairs to the third floor. Jaemin is wheezing by the time Mark opens their room. They dump the backpacks on the ground and flop down onto their respective beds.</p><p>"Thank fuck we don't have to take all that to hike," Mark sighs.</p><p>"It was your idea," Jaemin grumbles.</p><p>Mark only swats a hand in his direction.</p><p>They go down an hour later, after freshening up and admiring the view from their room a little. The weather is amazing, not a single cloud on the sky. The mountains are vast and absolutely breathtaking, nothing but nature as far as the eye can see. The air is completely different here than in the city and Jaemin thinks about Mr. and Mrs. Lee, letting himself be overwhelmed with guilt and gratitude and sadness for just a moment. They would have loved it here, with the same sensitive, artistic, adventurous souls as their son. Jaemin had received so much from them, up the name, and he didn't even have the time to pay them back.</p><p>"Jaemin-ah," Mark says, his fingers circling Jaemin's wrist and pulling. "Stop, we came here to get away from all of it."</p><p>Of course Mark knows exactly what's on Jaemin's mind. Jaemin nods and lets Mark lead him down the stairs, into the canteen. They're just in time for lunch. The hall is half full, there are a few other people staying in the guesthouse and probably some tourists that hiked in the morning and became hungry. Jaemin sees three or four families with kids, a few couples and two larger groups of friends. There is also a dude that seems to be the doing-some-soul-searching-on-my-own type. Jaemin and Mark grab some food from the self-serving buffet and stop by the counter to pay. </p><p>The staff rings up their food and tells them the price in the most monotonous voice Jaemin's ever heard, but then he looks up and his expression changes, "You must be the guys Chenle told me about! Staying here for two weeks, right? It's pretty cool when there are so few people, you're gonna love it."</p><p>Mark and Jaemin exchange a look.</p><p>"How do you know it's us?"</p><p>The boy points at his own head.</p><p>"Pink hair isn't that common around here," he says.</p><p>Jaemin pats down his bangs self-consciously.</p><p>"Right," Mark says with a grin.</p><p>"I'm Jisung," the boy says. He looks really young, too. And skinny. Jaemin has the sudden urge to sit him down and pack food into his mouth until his cheekbones don't look as prominent. "My parents run this place. You can find me, if you need anything, Chenle would only avoid you."</p><p>"Yeah, he already warned us he doesn't technically work here," Mark says. "You should tell him not to tattle to everyone he sees."</p><p>Jisung groans tiredly and Mark snickers. He's in an exceptionally good mood. Jaemin vows to himself not to ruin that.</p><p>"Anyway, enjoy your meal," Jisung says, taking the money Mark offers him. "I'll take care of my best friend's big mouth."</p><p>"Make sure to eat some lunch, too," Jaemin says, as they turn around to find a table.</p><p>Jisung blinks at him in surprise. Mark chuckles quietly.</p><p>"You couldn't help yourself, huh," he says between the giggles.</p><p>Jaemin narrows his eyes and flips him off.</p><p>"Should we go for a hike later?" Mark asks, as they're stuffing their faces.</p><p>"Can't you let me get used to the whole nature thing slowly?" Jaemin whines.</p><p>Mark grins at him, this one, brilliant grin, where his whole face scrunches up ridiculously, and something inside Jaemin, something that's been there since the horrible news, lessens just a tiny bit.</p><p>"Fine, dude, you can do whatever you want with your fancy iPhone, while I explore," Mark allows.</p><p>It's okay to spend some time apart. They've been together for too long anyway, almost attached at the hip since the funeral. It can get tiring. Not that Jaemin's tired, he craves affection probably way too much, but he should give Mark a breather once in a while. Mark's already done so much for Jaemin anyway.</p><p>"Let's meet for dinner?" Jaemin suggests.</p><p>Mark agrees easily and they separate in the hallway. Jaemin walks up to their room and opens the window, breathing in the fresh air of the mountains. Contrary to what he expected, he doesn't feel like reaching for his phone at all. He's sick of his basketball buddies talking about nothing but the game, and apart from them, he only really talks to his ex. When he checks, she's not online, so he doesn't see the point of staring at the screen. They've talked less and less recently, too. Jaemin doesn't know if it's because he's mostly spent his time with Mark or because they just lack topics to discuss after having broken up two months ago. Maybe they're drifting apart.</p><p>Jaemin sits there not thinking for a long while, letting the breeze ruffle through his hair. Birds are singing so loudly, Jaemin almost can't hear anything else. It's nice. Relaxing. So very different from the noise of the city. </p><p>Finally, Jaemin decides to leave the guesthouse. He feels itchy all over, a short walk might help, and maybe he'll even see those cute deer.</p><p>Mark is nowhere to be seen and Jaemin wonders, if he should leave him one of the sandwiches he had made them for the road. They have some other snacks and the canteen is open late into the night, providing customers with ramyeon and vending machines with snacks. Eventually, Jaemin decides to take all three sandwiches with him in case he gets hungry on his walk. He only had lunch today, after all. Mark devoured the breakfast Jaemin had made for him, but wasn't able to talk Jaemin into eating something as well. Breakfasts aren't really Jaemin's thing and he was kind of nervous about leaving the house for the first time in months. He's not sure why. Mark says they're both scared to let go, but Jaemin thinks it's more complicated than that.</p><p>The sun is blinding, warming up his thighs and face and bones. Jaemin breathes in deeply and lets the peculiar calm soothe him. He takes one of the scenic routes that don't venture into the mountains. There are people around, but not many, and they don't bother him. It's nice to be alone for a while. Maybe both he and Mark needed that breather.</p><p>Jaemin doesn't go off the trail, but he walks further than he originally planned. There is barely anyone around now. The view is something out of this world. Jaemin takes in the ancient trees with their rich leaf crowns, the dazzling greenery underneath them, the slopes of the mountains all around him, the fearlessly blue sky. It all makes something incredible unfurl in his chest, and he wishes, briefly, that he brought his camera to this trip.</p><p>He jumps a foot in the air when something nudges his side, but quickly realizes it's a Siberian musk deer. Its fangs look a little intimidating, but Jaemin knows from the onslaught of information Mark has attacked him with that the deer are herbivorous. They don't normally live in woods like these, and Jaemin is grateful they were brought here, because he's never seen something this damn cute.</p><p>Tentatively, Jaemin reaches out his hand, but the deer shies away from touch. It rounds Jaemin and sniffs at his bag. Jaemin remembers the sandwiches and takes them out. He doesn't know what the deer eat (Mark probably told him at some point, but Jaemin has rarely listened to the tsunami of information actively), but he thinks bread probably won't harm them. The deer seems to think so, too, because it greedily nibbles on the sandwich. Jaemin tries to touch it again and manages to pet its head twice before it moves away. Jaemin doesn't feel too bad about it. Soon, another deer shows up, then another, until he's surrounded by five of them. This trip was the best idea Mark could have possibly come up with.</p><p>"Excuse me, sir."</p><p>Jaemin flinches and looks up. And forgets he has a brain that should be functioning. Not even in his wildest dreams did he think he'd ever consider cargo shorts hot, and yet, here he is. The man is dressed like a proper ranger, from the knee high socks, through the damn shorts, up to the wide brimmed hat. As if that's not already plenty, the whole attire is the color of khaki. And Jaemin's still drooling.</p><p>It takes him an embarrassing minute to realize the man is pointing at the sign next to them that asks tourists not to feed wild animals with human food.</p><p>"Oh," Jaemin giggles sheepishly and snatches the bread from before the deer's noses. "Sorry, they were just so cute, I didn't even notice the sign."</p><p>"If you want to feed them, you can buy special food in the gift shop," the man says.</p><p>His face relaxes from the stern expression from before, and if Jaemin didn't see it for himself, he'd never believe this man can be anything other than smiling. One of the deer approaches him to head-butt his side, and the man's eyes curve into pretty half-moons, as he pets the deer's muzzle. Jaemin is having a stroke.</p><p>"The gift shop?" he asks dumbly, because the silence was starting to stretch into uncomfortable territory.</p><p>The man looks up at him and his eyes widen. They're dark and mesmerizing, and there is a mole under one of them.</p><p>"Oh, I meant the store with hiking equipment," he says with an apologetic smile. Jaemin would forgive him anything. "There are also souvenirs and all kinds of stuff, so we got used to calling it the gift shop."</p><p>"Okay," Jaemin says, continuing to be dumb without a single problem. "Um, I'll go there then."</p><p>More of the deer have surrounded the ranger, demanding petting. It's kind of really fucking amazing.</p><p>"Wow, you're almost like Snow White," Jaemin mumbles before he can stop himself.</p><p>With the light tone of his skin and the impossibly pink lips, he even kind of looks like Snow White. The man glances up at him and grimaces.</p><p>"That's not my favorite comparison," he says and giggles a little. Jaemin feels faint. "I don't think a young girl who used to be a princess would be totally satisfied with being a maid and who knows what else for seven tiny dudes. Mother Nature loved her, she could have overthrown her evil stepmother any second."</p><p>Jaemin grins. A Disney nerd with some strong opinions, huh.</p><p>"How about Cinderella then?" he asks. "She talked to mice and birds dressed her in the morning."</p><p>"And she married the first dude who was nice to her without even getting to know him first," the guy rolls his beautiful eyes.</p><p>"Hey, the girl just wanted to have some fun and everyone was giving her shit for it," Jaemin protests. "Besides, the dude was rich and a prince. I'd totally do the same."</p><p>"Okay, fair, but she could have talked to someone from the palace about her abusive stepmother, like one of the guards or something, instead of tolerating it by talking to mice," the guy huffs. He reaches to his pocket and pulls out something that looks like crackers, feeding it to the deer. He glances up at Jaemin and grins. "My name is Jeno. Are you the guy Chenle was talking about? With the handsome friend who laughs a lot?"</p><p>"Oh, I see how it is," Jaemin huffs. "So only Mark is handsome. I'll remember that, barely qualified receptionist Chenle."</p><p>Jeno chuckles cutely. If he asked, Jaemin would put on cargo shorts himself just to get him to laugh.</p><p>"Well, you're not that bad," Jeno decides.</p><p>Jaemin gasps way too dramatically.</p><p>"Not that bad?! Are you straight or something? I'm beautiful!"</p><p>Jeno cackles openly now and even the deer look startled.</p><p>"It's good to have self-confidence," Jeno says. He takes off the hat to run his fingers through his shiny black hair and Jaemin's brain resets again. "Hey," Jeno perks up suddenly. "Wanna see something cool?"</p><p>"I'll see whatever you're willing to show me," Jaemin sweeps his gaze down Jeno's fit body and when he looks back up at his face, he thinks he can spot a faint blush. "I'm Jaemin," he offers finally, treating Jeno to one of his signature, charming smiles.</p><p>Jeno grins back and gently pushes the deer away from himself. Jaemin follows him down the path leading back to the guesthouse.</p><p>"Have you worked here for long?" he asks, to keep the conversation going but also because he's curious.</p><p>"Almost two years now," Jeno says easily. He fixes the hat on his head. "Still didn't really get used to the clothes," he giggles, "but personally, I think I'm rocking the socks."</p><p>Jaemin glances down at his socked calves and immediately pictures himself nibbling on them.</p><p>"You could lose the hat, though," he says to somehow distract his traitorous brain, because what the fuck.</p><p>"I can't, it's a part of the uniform," Jeno shrugs. "It's kinda grown on me, to be honest."</p><p>"Well, you'd probably look good even in a trash bag," Jaemin says casually. Jeno glances at him from under his lashes, a little startled maybe. The blush is high on his cheeks, apparent this time. "Is it fun working here?"</p><p>"It's peaceful," Jeno says after clearing his throat. Jaemin grins to himself. Flustering cute boys is his favorite pastime, after all. "I like how I feel when I'm here. The city was too stressful for me. I have everything I need here and the animals are the best."</p><p>"That sounds amazing," Jaemin says honestly. "And the deer are so freaking cute, even with those fangs," he gushes.</p><p>Jeno giggles again and Jaemin could very well be a puddle at his feet, because it feels like he just melted. </p><p>"Yeah, the deer are adorable, but I meant all animals that inhabit these mountains. You can spot all kinds of species in the woods, if you know where to look and how to approach them without spooking them. It's incredible to be so close to nature and be like, accepted by it all, you know? It's such a humbling experience, you realize you're not anything special just because you're human and," he pauses abruptly and his ears flush deep pink. Jaemin raises a questioning eyebrow. "Sorry, I tend to just go off about this stuff, I didn't mean to bore you with my pseudo deep thoughts."</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Jaemin asks, confused. "That was interesting! I don't usually talk to anyone about serious things like that. It's nice."</p><p>It's the third time he has thought how nice it is since he got here. Mark definitely had a great idea to come here.</p><p>Jeno smiles at him and Jaemin's soul ascends to another plane of existence.</p><p>"Really? That's awesome. My friends are sick of my spiritual bullshit," he makes air quotes. "It's great to meet someone who wants to hear about it."</p><p>Jaemin's chest glows with something warm. It's been a while since he last felt this calm and pleasant. Jeno tells him about all kinds of animals he's seen since he came here, a little about the friends he works with and doesn't really mention anything personal, but it didn't escape Jaemin that Jeno didn't confirm being straight before, and that's already something.</p><p>They almost reach the guesthouse, when Jeno makes a turn and leads Jaemin down another path. There is a sign at the beginning of it and Jaemin gapes.</p><p>"Don't tell me you're one of those guys who train hawks?!"</p><p>Jeno throws him a peace sign and a wink, and if that isn't an inherently queer thing to do, Jaemin doesn't know what is. Jaemin's heart is thumping like crazy in excitement. Jeno takes him to a big clearing. There are a few perches in the middle of it, a fence to keep the tourists at a safe distance and a small shed at the edge.</p><p>"Stay here," Jeno says and Jaemin obediently stops before the fence.</p><p>Jeno goes inside through a gate, closing it after himself, and enters the shed. Jaemin waits impatiently. Jeno reemerges with a thick glove on his right hand and a bag on his hip, but without the hat. He puts a whistle to his pretty lips and blows, and Jaemin's brain really needs to fucking calm down. He's about to see something incredibly cool, for fuck's sake. The whistle doesn't make a sound Jaemin can hear. He holds his breath. Nothing happens for a while and Jaemin spends it admiring Jeno's unreal looks in the slowly lowering sun. The breeze does wonderful things to his shiny black hair.</p><p>Jaemin snaps out of his daze, when he sees two shapes descending quickly from the sky. Jeno reaches out his hand and one of the birds lands on it heavily, while the other hovers over Jeno for a second, then aims for the perch in the middle of the clearing and settles on it, cleaning its feathers.</p><p>Jaemin is mesmerized.</p><p>"This is Fluffy," Jeno says loudly enough for Jaemin to hear. He reaches into the bag and takes out a piece of meat, letting the bird swallow it. "Good boy, Fluffy, you came so quickly and here I was, thinking you'd disappoint me again," he coos at the bird.</p><p>Fluffy is gigantic and deep brown, with white spots in his feathers here and there. His beak looks sharp and dangerous, and Jeno is holding him the same way you hold a puppy. A thrilled shiver runs down Jaemin's spine. Jeno smooths his finger over Fluffy's head, then straightens his arm and makes a specific kind of sound. Fluffy stretches out his enormous wings and takes off. Jeno blows the whistle again and throws a piece of meat high in the ear. Fluffy catches it easily. Jaemin's heart is too big for his chest. He's never seen anything so incredible before. Jeno laughs delightedly, with his whole chest, and Jaemin has to correct his statement. <i>Now</i> he's never seen anything so incredible before.</p><p>Fluffy doesn't land on Jeno's hand this time, taking up one of the perches. Jeno blows the whistle and the other bird flies over to him. Jeno presents it to Jaemin proudly with a wide grin and his face glowing.</p><p>"This is Winter," he introduces. "Here you go, girl," he says to the bird, giving her a piece of meat as well.</p><p>Winter is beautiful. She's much smaller than Fluffy, white and grey and black, with a graceful slope to her silhouette. Jaemin kind of wants to touch, but Jeno told him not to move from behind the fence, which means it's probably dangerous.</p><p>Jeno makes Winter do the same trick as Fluffy did, and then does some sounds that cause the bird to stay motionless in the air, using the breeze to hover in place. Jeno throws her another piece of meat for that, then blows the whistle, and both birds take off, disappearing in the mountains.</p><p>"They were so fucking awesome!" Jaemin exclaims as soon as Jeno joins him after leaving the glove and the bag of meat in the shed. "It's amazing you can do things like that! Have you been doing it for long? Are they from here or did you bring them with you to the park? Are there any others who take care of birds around here? Can I pet them someday? Is it difficult to teach them to do what you want? Aren't you scared they're not going to come, if they just live wildly somewhere in the mountains? Why did you call him Fluffy? Are they dangerous? How did you even decide to do this?"</p><p>"Whoa, hey!" Jeno laughs. "Slow down, way too many questions to remember. I'm glad you enjoyed the show!"</p><p>"It was so cool!" Jaemin almost yells. </p><p>"I've been training Fluffy and Winter since I came here," Jeno says. He can't seem to stop smiling at him, and Jaemin revels in the attention. "We still have a long way to go, but they even started bringing me treats!"</p><p>"Treats? Like what?"</p><p>They start walking back towards the guesthouse. It's getting a little chilly with the evening approaching and Jaemin is glad he put on some proper jeans before leaving the room.</p><p>"Little rodents, mostly," Jeno shrugs sheepishly and Jaemin makes a face. "I know it's gross, but it's like they're taking care of me, you know? I guess they think I'm helpless, since I don't have a beak or talons. They still listen to me, though, and do stuff I want them to. It's an incredible feeling to have a wild beast's trust."</p><p>"Damn," Jaemin says, in absolute awe. "So they've lived here before you came?"</p><p>"Yeah," Jeno nods. "I still can't believe I got to do this. It was a whim, kinda. I came to work here with Hyuck, he's been my best friend since high school and he talked me into giving this austringer thing a go."</p><p>"Isn't it falconry?" Jaemin asks.</p><p>He doesn't even know why it's so fascinating to him. But then again, Jeno could talk about cargo shorts for two hours, and Jaemin probably wouldn't miss a single word.</p><p>"It's falconry, when you're training falcons," Jeno tells him. They're almost by the guesthouse. "When it's hawks and eagles, you're an austringer."</p><p>"So Fluffy and Winter are eagles?"</p><p>"Fluffy is a spotted eagle," Jeno says with a soft smile. "He's the best boy, even though he likes a little mischief. Winter is a black winged kite. She's called that because she hovers over the ground like what you saw. You could say they're generally hawks."</p><p>"That's amazing," Jaemin says, for what feels like the fourteenth time. "Thanks for showing them to me."</p><p>"I just wanted to brag," Jeno giggles, scratching his head a little awkwardly. "They're my babies and you seemed like a cool guy. I don't have anyone to talk to about them with, other austringers left like, two weeks ago, because it's the end of the season. And they had their own birds with them, not wild ones, so it was still a little different."</p><p>"Sorry for giving bread to the deer," Jaemin mumbles, suddenly ashamed of being this stupid.</p><p>Jeno clearly loves his work and he even showed him something as cool as training wild birds, while Jaemin went and did the dumb tourist thing.</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Jeno pats his arm gently and Jaemin nearly passes out. "Bread isn't that bad. They prefer easily digestible stuff, mostly lichen, but the ones here got used to the tourists and prey on poor humans who are weak for cute things. You wouldn't believe what people sometimes feed them."</p><p>"That sucks," Jaemin grumbles. "People are so stupid."</p><p>"Not all of them," Jeno says, devastatingly optimistic, and treats Jaemin to another adorable wink.</p><p>Jaemin is definitely one of those poor humans who are weak for cute things.</p><p>•</p><p>The sky is starting to darken by the time they reach the guesthouse. The sun is almost setting in the west, leaving lilac and orange clouds in its wake. Tree shadows lengthen considerably. The air is so impossibly clear. All Jaemin can smell is greenery and earth. They step into the wooden lobby and Jaemin notices the entrance to the hiking equipment store that he somehow missed before.</p><p>"So…" Jaemin starts, unsure where they go from here.</p><p>They spent maybe two hours together and it already feels like he's known Jeno for half of his life and has pined after him for equally as long.</p><p>It's not time for dinner yet, as the sign by the now closed reception desk reads and Jaemin really doesn't want to go back to the room and be alone with his thoughts again.</p><p>"Here, see?" Jeno points. "The gift shop."</p><p>Jaemin nods dumbly and thankfully doesn't have the time to do anything else, because Jeno grabs his wrist and pulls him along. They barely make it inside, when Jeno pauses and his eyes widen in horror.</p><p>Jaemin looks towards the counter. Barely qualified receptionist Chenle is next to it, browsing the shelf with animal plushies, but Jaemin can tell he's keeping a close ear on the conversation happening between the clerk and a middle-aged man.</p><p>"It's eighty seven percent legit," the clerk is saying. His skin is the most beautiful golden Jaemin has ever seen and his cheeks beg to be pinched. The dark of his big eyes is deep and warm and mischievous. There is a certain charm to him that makes Jaemin's gay show almost as fast as it did when he saw Jeno. Almost. "We don't take responsibility for the other thirteen percent, though. As you probably know, it mostly depends on the person how they react to a particular combination of herbs, but- oh, excuse me, sir, aren't you staying at our guesthouse?"</p><p>Chenle turns around, feigning pleasant surprise.</p><p>"Yes, I am! Why?"</p><p>"This lovely gentleman is considering buying our special herbs to help him for his insomnia!" the clerk chirps with a lovely smile. "I think you bought them last week, isn't that right?"</p><p>"Oh yeah!" Chenle exclaims readily. "They work wonders, especially if you have trouble sleeping with noises around, like me!"</p><p>"Ah, is that so?" the man asks, obviously falling for it. "I'll take them then."</p><p>"Really?" the clerk's eyes sparkle and he leans in to add, conspiratorially, but way too loudly, "I'm sure your wife's snoring issue won't bother you again."</p><p>The man flushes a little, but takes out money, and Jaemin realizes Jeno has moved from beside him. The clerk takes the money and passes over a small package with the sweetest smile. Jaemin is sure that the fact he's easy on the eyes makes up at least sixty percent of his success rate.</p><p>"Lee Donghyuck!" Jeno yells, next to the counter by now.</p><p>"Oh shit!" Lee Donghyuck hisses and shoots the customer another smile. "Pleasure doing business with you, see you next time!" The man nods and scurries away without looking back. Lee Donghyuck quickly shoves his hands under the counter and Jaemin hears a click. "It's not what you-" Lee Donghyuck pauses when his eyes find Jeno and his expression changes to exasperation in a millisecond. "Are you kidding me? I thought you were Renjun! Don't scare me like that."</p><p>Jeno flails his arms and Jaemin watches with almost as much fascination as he did back on the clearing.</p><p>"You think I'm not capable of telling auntie about your little business?" Jeno's attempts at threatening shouldn't be this hot.</p><p>Lee Donghyuck right out leers.</p><p>"Remember that time you called me when you got stuck-"</p><p>"It's great that you're working hard!" Jeno squeaks immediately, flailing even more.</p><p>His ears are pink again. Jaemin snickers. Whatever happened, it must have been hilarious and embarrassing.</p><p>"Hey, this is the guy I was talking about!" Chenle screeches. It's not hard to guess he's obnoxiously loud on a regular basis. If Jaemin said he wasn't extremely pleased with the attention he's gotten in just a few hours since coming here, he'd be lying. "The one who's totally your t-"</p><p>"Zhong Chenle, don't think I won't make Fluffy and Winter scratch your eyes out!" Jeno warns.</p><p>It's almost a growl. Jaemin's stomach swoops.</p><p>"Oh, please, you love me and your birds do, too," Chenle scoffs, condescending. He gives Jaemin a once-over and his lips stretch in a smirk. "Gotta say, you sure work fast, I didn't think you'd just randomly meet him like that."</p><p>Jeno sighs, all fight leaving him in two seconds flat. </p><p>"You two are gonna make me grey prematurely, I swear," he grumbles.</p><p>Jaemin thinks he's pouting and can't believe he's lucky enough to witness it. He thinks about Jeno's shiny black hair greying.</p><p>"That would be a shame," he says, but Lee Donghyuck says it at the same time.</p><p>They look at each other, and Jaemin doesn't know what it is, exactly, but some understanding passes between them, and he already thinks of Donghyuck as his new best friend.</p><p>"Lee Donghyuck, pleasure," Donghyuck reaches out his hand with a smile that could probably start wars.</p><p>"Lee Jaemin, nice to meet you," Jaemin shakes his hand and reciprocates the smile.</p><p>"Great, now be a good new best friend and tell me who's that hot piece of ass you came here with that Chenle showed me during lunch," Donghyuck says. </p><p>He doesn't beat around the bush. Jaemin already loves him. He didn't notice neither Donghyuck nor Chenle at the canteen during lunch, but maybe they just appeared for a second, for Mark-watching purposes. Thinking about Mark as hot makes him grimace. </p><p>"Oh?" Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. "Why the face?" Jaemin is about to answer, when Donghyuck continues, "Is he maybe your brother or something?"</p><p>Jaemin hums thoughtfully. Of course he considers Mark his brother. He'd do anything for Mark. He has issues, though, and those issues still don't let him think of himself as a proper part of Mark's family.</p><p>"It's... complicated," he settles on. "But I could never think of him as a hot piece of ass, that's for sure."</p><p>Donghyuck tilts his head to the side, considering.</p><p>"Well, okay then, but is he single?"</p><p>"Very much so," Jaemin nods eagerly. "I don't know, if he'd be interested, though."</p><p>"Why not?" Donghyuck covers his mouth as his eyes widen. "Is he like, straight or something?"</p><p>Jaemin laughs. Chenle giggles. Jeno rolls his mesmerizing eyes.</p><p>"You two are way too open about this stuff, this is a public place, you know?"</p><p>Donghyuck and Jaemin ignore the words.</p><p>"If he is, he wouldn't dare admit to such heresy in front of me," Jaemin says way too seriously.</p><p>"So you're obviously close, but don't talk about these things?" Donghyuck asks skeptically.</p><p>"Lee Donghyuck!" Jeno hisses, scandalized.</p><p>"I mean, he's never really been in a relationship, you know?" Jaemin shrugs.</p><p>"Should you even be telling us that…?" Jeno mumbles, resigned.</p><p>"All he's ever told me is that he just didn't find someone he'd really like yet," Jaemin continues, throwing an amused glance Jeno's way.</p><p>"Hmm," Donghyuck says and then shows another brilliant smile, grabbing one of the miniature Cloud Bridges from the shelf next to him and holding it like a microphone. "This is Haechan cam with a 37.5 percent viewer rating," he starts in the tone of a TV presenter. "Today, we discuss the situation of a certain client, who unfortunately couldn't join us in the studio. Thankfully, we have his best friend slash brother?" he asks, glancing at Jaemin and continues immediately, when Jaemin nods, "here with us and he's willing to discuss some pressing matters. Ladies, gentlemen and other motherfuckers, please welcome Lee Jaemin-ssi!"</p><p>Chenle claps dutifully and even Jeno looks reluctantly amused. Jaemin is mostly intrigued.</p><p>"So, Jaemin-ssi, tell us, is it true that today's client claims he hasn't yet found a person he'd like enough to be in a relationship with?" Donghyuck asks him, putting the bridge under his nose.</p><p>Jaemin decides to play along.</p><p>"Yes, it's true, Haechan-ssi!" he agrees solemnly. He's not sure why Donghyuck calls himself that, but he'll ask later. "I tried talking to him about boys, but it's been useless so far! Do you have any advice how I should approach this topic with him? I only want him to be happy!"</p><p>"Oh my god, you two deserve each other, what have I done," Jeno says in horror.</p><p>"We're glad you reached out to us, Jaemin-ssi," Donghyuck continues, utterly ignoring Jeno. "We'll do whatever we can to help! In order to do that, we invited a known expert on everything queer, Zhong Chenle, to our studio!"</p><p>Chenle bows and then waves to non-existent audience. </p><p>"Thank you, hello, nice to meet everyone!"</p><p>People in the store are starting to pay attention to their little show, but Jaemin is having too much fun to care.</p><p>"Chenle-ssi, can you give our client some quality advice on this matter?" Donghyuck asks briskly.</p><p>"Well, I don't intend to brag," Chenle starts haughtily, "but in my <i>expert</i> opinion, I'd say the client is still somewhat confused about his sexuality. It might also be that his sexuality is fluid, of course, since choosing not to pick a label is absolutely valid. But if he simply hasn't found out yet, I'd recommend trying different things. If he says he hasn't met the right person, there's a possibility that he's pansexual or demisexual, or, just like me, sex doesn't interest him at all and he just wants to find someone who would cuddle with him on a daily basis, help him with his taxes and adopt a few dogs with him."</p><p>Donghyuck has been nodding all along and finally snatches the bridge from Chenle's face.</p><p>"Thank you, Chenle-ssi, it's been wonderful having you with us! Does that help with your best friend slash brother issues, Jaemin-ssi?"</p><p>"Yes!" Jaemin exclaims too enthusiastically. "That was indeed some quality advice, I'm glad I decided to contact your studio! Thank you so much, now I know how to talk with my best friend slash brother about his feelings!"</p><p>All three of them grin at each other like loons. Jeno rubs his forehead to hide the tiny smile on his face and says gravelly, "I regret everything."</p><p>Jaemin chuckles.</p><p>"Hey, your friends are cool!"</p><p>Donghyuck gasps.</p><p>"Did you hear that, Chenle? A hottie called us cool! Such high praise, I don't know what to do with myself!" he squeals, hitting Chenle's arm repeatedly.</p><p>Jaemin can't stop grinning.</p><p>"You're kind of an asshole, aren't you," he says to Donghyuck.</p><p>Donghyuck has a dangerous smirk on his face, when he looks Jaemin right in the eye and says, "Yes. Do you think your best friend slash brother is gonna be into it?"</p><p>Jaemin puts a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"You officially have my permission to try and seduce him," he allows grandly. Then backtracks a little, "Oh, but if you hurt his feelings, I will burn down this place with you inside."</p><p>Donghyuck laughs like cartoon villains and puts his own hand on Jaemin's shoulder, which makes them look completely ridiculous.</p><p>"I like your style! We have a deal."</p><p>Jaemin nods, then withdraws his arm.</p><p>"I'm serious, though," he says. He doesn't want to think about everything that happened, but someone messing with Mark's feelings would definitely only make it worse. And they managed to get away from everything finally, too. "He's been through some stuff lately."</p><p>Donghyuck blinks at him, but all he says is, "Okay."</p><p>"Jaemin-ah."</p><p>Jaemin turns around to look at Jeno, who only drops a small package into his hand.</p><p>"That's for the deer," he explains. "You can go and feed them tomorrow, if you want?"</p><p>"Where are you gonna be tomorrow?" Jaemin asks before he can psyche himself out.</p><p>Chenle whistles lowly and Jeno's cheeks darken, but both he and Jaemin ignore the receptionist.</p><p>"Around," Jeno mumbles. His dark, warm eyes are staring right into Jaemin's soul. "We might bump into each other again."</p><p>"Bumping into you is all I plan on doing tomorrow," Jaemin says, because he thinks he's funny.</p><p>This time, both Donghyuck and Chenle whistle, and Jeno flushes even more.</p><p>"Right," he blurts out. "Great. The dinner is starting soon, we should close up."</p><p>"Okay," Jaemin says. His lungs seem to be filled with helium, trying to lift him off the ground. "See you tomorrow, then. Bye, Donghyuck, Chenle."</p><p>"Bye!" they singsong in unison.</p><p>Jaemin leaves the store and pretends not to hear the snickers and teasing comments meant for Jeno's ears. Mark is already waiting for him in the canteen.</p><p>"Dude, you won't believe the day I had," they say in unison.</p><p>Mark giggles, his whole face doing the scrunching up it does, when he's particularly happy or excited.</p><p>"You first," he allows. "But let's get food."</p><p>They grab dinner and find an empty table. Jaemin spends a good fifteen minutes telling Mark what happened. More than half of that time might or might not be spent on describing Jeno's socked calves and his unreal eyes. He doesn't say what he talked about with Donghyuck, and Mark doesn't call him out for the fact that he didn't spend the day in their room, even though he said he would.</p><p>"I can't believe you went and got a crush the day we got here," Mark shakes his head at him. "But the eagles sound so cool! You think he'd show me, too?"</p><p>"Maybe," Jaemin grins.</p><p>"Oh no," Mark says immediately. "You have your demonic face going on. What's happening in that deranged head of yours right now?"</p><p>Jaemin slaps his arm, because he shoved too much rice into his mouth and can't retort verbally. Mark slaps him right back. Jaemin swallows the food only to complain about the pain.</p><p>"You started it!" Mark points out.</p><p>"You called me deranged!" Jaemin screeches. "And I only meant I could try to convince him to show you, but it wouldn't be for free!"</p><p>"Don't try to trick me, you think I can't tell you'd kill for a chance to <i>convince</i> him?" Mark snorts.</p><p>"How dare you!" Jaemin gasps. "Who do you think I am, hyung? Some deceitful trash?"</p><p>Mark takes another bite of his meat and cocks his head to the side thoughtfully.</p><p>"Yeah?" he admits.</p><p>Jaemin slaps him again, but there is no point denying the obvious any longer. Of course he'd kill for a chance to use his persuasion tactics on Jeno. To have Jeno at his mercy and try out everything he'd want to in order to convince him to do something. With the socks involved and everything else discarded. Obviously.</p><p>"Tell me about your day," he says to very subtly change the subject, but Mark still smirks.</p><p>"Okay, so I went on a hike, right," he says anyway, just to indulge Jaemin, because he's a perfect best friend slash brother like that. "And first, I was followed by a kid-"</p><p>"A kid?" Jaemin cuts in surprised.</p><p>"That's what I just said," Mark says, and Jaemin makes a face and parrots him. Mark slaps his arm, because apparently it's already become a thing, and continues, "I pretended not to see her, because she was trying to be stealthy in that adorably obvious way kids are, you know? But then she tripped and fell and started crying, and I couldn't pretend anymore. Crying kids are fucking terrifying, dude. I have no idea what you do with one. But thankfully, her parents were close and took care of her, and then we came back here together and they bought me ice cream," his lips twist into that tiny sad smile that makes Jaemin's heart clench painfully every single time without fail. He must be thinking about his parents. "That was so weird, but like, in a good way. And then I had a lot of time till dinner, so I went out to just sit on the grass behind the guesthouse and enjoy nature or whatever. And a ranger found me and started yelling at me, and it turned out I was sitting on some endangered species of a plant," he grins sheepishly and Jaemin sighs in relief at not being the only idiot in… the family. God, even thinking of them like that makes the guilt almost choke him.</p><p>"Was he wearing socks?" he asks to distract himself.</p><p>Mark is the one to make a face now.</p><p>"Yo, that's a really weird kink you have going on. Is that seriously the only thing you wanna know?"</p><p>Jaemin pouts.</p><p>"It's not a kink," he mutters unconvincingly.</p><p>"Right," Mark says and avoids another slap to his shoulder. "No, he was wearing pants. They were cargo pants, though, so probably similar to your cute boy's shorts. He was also kinda," Mark pauses, looking for a word, "tiny," he settles on. "But he really had some impressive lungs on him, my ears are still ringing."</p><p>That's an obvious exaggeration, but Jaemin has always liked the colorful additions that make Mark's stories more interesting. Mark hasn't looked this relaxed in months and Jaemin props his chin on his hand, as he looks at the smooth lines of his face. He is handsome, with his boyish charm and huge, puppy-like eyes, and the way his lips always seem to be just a little bit pursed. Jaemin isn't surprised Donghyuck called him a hot piece of ass. He hopes that Donghyuck, if not anything more, is at least going to be a sufficient, pleasant distraction for Mark. He hopes he won't let <i>himself</i> think too much, either.</p><p>"I'm glad you made me come here," he admits honestly.</p><p>Mark's whole face scrunches up in a grin.</p><p>"I'm glad you don't hate the nature as much as you always claim to," he gives back. The grin takes on a teasing edge. "Or is it only socks that made you say that?"</p><p>Jaemin slaps his arm for the umpteenth time and Mark throws his head back and laughs.</p><p>•</p><p>The next day, mountains are covered with thick, grey clouds, barely visible under the heavy amounts of rain. Jaemin loves the smell of all that greenery soaked through, so he puts on a hoodie and opens their window, staring out into the nature and taking big gulps of it. Mark looks like a beaten puppy and complains about the cold, so Jaemin suggests they build a blanket fort and hide inside to share snacks and listen to the rain pattering on the windowsill. Mark visibly perks up at that and gets to work, while Jaemin makes a trip down to the vending machines in the canteen. </p><p>He's trying to decide, if he should buy salted peanuts or not, when something in his periphery moves.</p><p>"Get the caramel covered ones instead."</p><p>Jaemin turns his head and something restless disappears from his chest after having bothered him the whole morning.</p><p>"Jeno!"</p><p>Jeno grins, his eyes disappearing in it completely. Jaemin swoons. Jeno still has his ranger uniform on, but he exchanged his shorts for full-length pants, which means the socks are gone, too. Jaemin is only slightly disappointed.</p><p>"What are you up to today?" Jeno asks, with that world brightening smile still in place.</p><p>"Hyung wanted us to go for a hike together, but," Jaemin shrugs, gesturing towards the window and the grayness outside. "So we're making a blanket fort."</p><p>Jeno's face, if possible, glows even more.</p><p>"That's awesome! I haven't done that since I was like, ten," he says with a cute little giggle. "Would you mind, if I came to check it out? I'm on my break now."</p><p>"Aren't you supposed to be eating something during a break?" Jaemin asks before he can stop himself from slipping into his every-cute-creature-that-I-care-about-should-be-well-fed mode.</p><p>Jeno blinks and tilts his head to the side, which nearly causes Jaemin to experience an aneurysm there and then. He points at the vending machine with an adorably puzzled look on his face.</p><p>"I wanted to buy those caramel peanuts, though?" he informs Jaemin.</p><p>Jaemin tells himself to be strong and narrows his eyes.</p><p>"Have you at least had a proper breakfast today?"</p><p>Jeno's mouth twitches, as if he's trying hard not to smile again.</p><p>"I had like, two granola bars," he admits.</p><p>Jaemin would put his hands on his hips right about now, but he has an armful of snacks to hold.</p><p>"Are you gonna have a break during lunch?"</p><p>Jeno looks a little bit sheepish, but still amused.</p><p>"No?" he mumbles.</p><p>"Okay," Jaemin decides and dumps all the snacks he bought into Jeno's hands, watching him fumble with them a little. "I assume you have access to the kitchens. Let's go."</p><p>"What?" Jeno says, but follows him obediently.</p><p>Jaemin opens the door to the kitchens with a flourish, then withers a little under the surprised and reprimanding looks he receives from the staff busy with breakfast cleanup. They all soften considerably, when they spot Jeno behind him.</p><p>"Who's that, Jeno-ah?" one of the older ladies asks with a warm smile and an intrigued glint in her eyes.</p><p>"That's, uh, that's Jaemin," Jeno stutters. "My friend, I met him yesterday. I just don't know why we're here?" he looks questioningly at Jaemin, but Jaemin is too busy relishing the fact that Jeno called him his friend to pay attention to his confusion.</p><p>"Would you mind, if I borrowed a few ingredients and a little bit of space?" Jaemin asks the lady, throwing in one of his most charming smiles.</p><p>"Oh my," the lady covers her mouth with a pleased expression. "And why do you need that?"</p><p>"This guy here skipped breakfast and was planning to eat peanuts for lunch," Jaemin glances at Jeno with his eyes narrowed in disapproval again, but Jeno is absolutely, utterly unaffected, which means he only offers Jaemin that confused grin again, and that's just awful.</p><p>Jaemin has important stuff to focus on here.</p><p>"Jeno-ah!" the lady admonishes, but melts as soon as Jeno turns that grin on her. Jaemin can relate. "Well, I suppose it's okay. Take whatever you need, hardworking boys like our Jeno should be properly fed, after all."</p><p>Jaemin wonders, if the lady is what is to become of him, when he grows old.</p><p>"Thank you, miss," he says with feeling, bowing with as much flourish as he packed into his entrance.</p><p>The lady giggles in delight behind her hand. They both ignore Jeno's weak attempts at protesting. Other staff ignore all three of them. Jaemin shoots a quick text to Mark, because leaving him hanging would be a shitty thing to do, and Jaemin doesn't want a single shitty thing to happen to Mark ever. Especially, if it's his doing. Especially when they decided to build a blanket fort. The only thing Mark texts back is 'Is he wearing the socks?', so Jaemin figures they're fine and doesn't reply to that blatant provocation. It reminds him of the sad reality that Jeno is in fact not wearing the socks. He tries to focus on the task at hand to stop thinking about that. </p><p>He doesn't make anything too complicated, just some rice with eggs and some bacon, and asks the nice lady, if he could take some with him to give his brother. She agrees with enthusiasm worthy of a concerned grandmother who hasn't seen her grandkids eat properly for at least three hours, then makes him and Jeno sit down at one of the tables near the back to be certain they don't eat in a rush.</p><p>"Never eat while standing," the lady tells them with absolute conviction. "A meal should be given some proper respect."</p><p>No one has ever told Jaemin anything like that, and he feels weirdly touched to receive such a domestic advice from a complete stranger. If his life had been different, maybe this would have made him nostalgic and miss his childhood. As it is, he only misses something he's never had.</p><p>"This is awesome," Jeno says after a few bites with his mouth full and eyes sparkling. Warmth spreads through Jaemin's chest. "Do you cook a lot?"</p><p>"Kinda, yeah," Jaemin shrugs. He's been responsible for his and Mark's meals for the last few months, and cooked fairly often even before that. If he left it to Mark, they'd be forced to survive on cup ramyeon and store bought kimbap. "This is just some simple breakfast, though. Nothing special."</p><p>Jeno smiles at him again, eyes tiny crescent moons, his nose scrunched up.</p><p>"It's been a while since someone cooked for me," he says. "It's very kind. Thanks."</p><p>For some reason, it makes Jaemin bashful. He ducks his head, painfully aware of the way his face heats up. Despite that awareness, it's a pleasant feeling.</p><p>"You're welcome," he mumbles and shovels his own food into his mouth to have something to do.</p><p>Jeno reaches over to pat his shoulder. His hand is warm and his fingers are long and slender. Jaemin swoons again.</p><p>They finish eating in relative silence. Jaemin grabs a lunchbox from the lovely lady and packs the leftovers for Mark. Jaemin doesn't think Mark would mind Jeno crashing their blanket fort party, but he's still a little anxious about it. As it turns out, it's not necessary. Mark crawls out from beneath a stack of chairs and pillows and offers Jeno his hand and an easy grin.</p><p>"Mark Lee, nice to meet you. Are you wearing the socks under those pants?"</p><p>Jeno blinks at him with sheer confusion and Jaemin is torn between laughing his ass off and being embarrassed on his brother's behalf.</p><p>"Mark Lee!" he hisses, fighting a laugh.</p><p>Mark shrugs and his mouth curls into something sharper. Jeno shakes his hand.</p><p>"Nice to meet you, too, but I have no idea what you're talking about," he admits. "Of course I'm wearing socks."</p><p>Mark snickers.</p><p>"Nevermind."</p><p>"So do you guys always build blanket forts when you're bored?" Jeno asks curiously.</p><p>Jaemin and Mark exchange a look.</p><p>"It's the second time ever," Mark says, staring at Jaemin with sudden realization.</p><p>Jaemin's stomach immediately plummets. The first time they made a blanket fort was right after the Lees adopted him. Jaemin was overwhelmed with gratitude and unsure, if what was happening was reality. Mark let him hang up some fairy lights and lie on the floor under the blankets and blabber about all his doubts and fears for as long as he wanted. Mrs. Lee made Jaemin's favorite food for dinner and didn't mention it, when tears welled up in his eyes. Mr. Lee gave his back a friendly pat that almost made him spit out his lungs. Jaemin never thought he'd miss that particular display of aggressive affection.</p><p>"Maybe you should build them more often then. You seem to enjoy it," Jeno says, because he's the nicest creature in existence.</p><p>Jaemin catches Mark's gaze, trying to communicate all the things he can't put into words. Judging by Mark's soft eyes, he gets it.</p><p>"Yeah," he says gently. "We should."</p><p>Jeno helps them build and by the time his break is over, he and Mark have their own unique handshake figured out. Jaemin feels oddly satisfied; Mark didn't really like his ex, and although Jaemin tries not to think about it as his brother meeting his partner, he can't exactly help it.</p><p>"It was great to meet you, man," Jeno says with an easy laugh, waving at Mark from the door. "I should go back to work now, but good luck with your blanket fort!" he glances at Jaemin and his expression changes a little, enough to make Jaemin's stomach swoop. "Thanks for the food. I'll see you around, yeah?"</p><p>Jaemin nods, something inside him fluttering wildly. Jeno shoots them both another brilliant grin and disappears out the door, but not out of Jaemin's head. </p><p>While Jaemin lies under all the sheets and blankets they've put up and rants about Jeno's sparkling eyes and sparkling personality, Mark shovels the food Jaemin brought him into his mouth, humming in appropriate moments to show his support. When he's done, he lies down next to Jaemin and says, "It feels like my life got stuck at that funeral and will never move forward again."</p><p>Everything in Jaemin shuts down.</p><p>"I mean, it did feel like that," Mark corrects himself and Jaemin exhales after what feels like ages. "It's a tiny bit different finally. Maybe."</p><p>Jaemin socks him in the arm, laughing somewhat hysterically.</p><p>"Fuck, dude, don't do that to me!"</p><p>"Sorry," Mark huffs, grinning a little. "But I'm serious, man. I'm only telling you this, because I feel a bit better out here, but it was like- like every day was the same, over and over again, like nothing changed and I lost the ability to experience emotions or something."</p><p>Jaemin nods. He understands more than he'd like.</p><p>"Maybe you should get laid," he says, because he can't stand Mark's raw honesty for long, even if he should maybe use this opportunity to talk about it, because Mark rarely ever opens up like this.</p><p>And even though Mark has all the right in the world to get offended at that crude comment, exactly because he rarely opens up like this, he only chuckles and elbows Jaemin in the ribs. Their affection for each other has always manifested in rather violent ways.</p><p>"Shut up," Mark mutters, voice a lot lighter. "As opposed to someone, I don't have boys with nice calves and nice eyes popping out wherever I go."</p><p>Jaemin bites his tongue before he blurts out something like, 'Yeah, but I know one boy with nice eyes and bad attitude, who is very much interested.' Instead, he smirks and singsongs, "So you'd be fine with such boys, huh?"</p><p>Mark glances at him with wide eyes.</p><p>"What? No, I don't- I didn't mean it like that! I was just referring to Jeno, I'm not saying it has to be boys!"</p><p>"Boys and girls?" Jaemin picks up swiftly. "Nice eyes regardless of gender? Come on, give me something, you're fully fucking aware I'm dying to know your preferences!"</p><p>Mark turns back to the ceiling and hums non-committally, flustered, and Jaemin resigns himself to remaining in the dark forever. But then Mark opens his weirdly attractive mouth and mumbles, "Mostly boys, I think."</p><p>Jaemin sits up so abruptly, he almost makes their painstakingly designed creation fall down on top of their heads. He knows the Lees never really talked about sexuality or relationships with their son. Maybe Mark had the same suspicion as Jaemin, that they had assumed Mark is straight and also that they didn't really approve of anything other than that. Now they'll never know. Jaemin thinks that might be one of the things Mark regrets not doing, while he had the chance. It must be tough living in a world, where you can't count on any advice about dating from your own parents.</p><p>"Holy shit," Jaemin says, in proper awe. Mark's face could be used as a neon sign. "Boys."</p><p>"I'm not really sure, though!" Mark says immediately.</p><p>"Obviously. It would be weird, if you were. You've never been in a relationship before."</p><p>Mark gets even redder. Jaemin is having fun, and it's kind of shocking, but not really. Mark has always been a great source of entertainment for him.</p><p>"Wait," Jaemin says suddenly. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"</p><p>Mark's gaze slips away from Jaemin's face.</p><p>"Yeah," he mutters very quietly.</p><p>"What?! When?" Jaemin exclaims.</p><p>This is so exciting. Mark never tells him these things.</p><p>"Well," Mark starts, clears his throat, "at Johnny's parties sometimes-"</p><p>"SOMETIMES?!" Jaemin roars and Mark grimaces. "Sorry. Sometimes, as in, more than once? Holy shit," he repeats incredulously. "Why didn't you tell me?"</p><p>Mark deems it safe to look at him again, apparently, because his frown is directed straight at Jaemin's face.</p><p>"I mean, we never really talk about this stuff, it would be weird."</p><p>"Well, we're changing that," Jaemin declares dramatically. "We are going to talk about this stuff henceforth!"</p><p>"Henceforth?" Mark cracks a grin.</p><p>"Yeah!" Jaemin says, with feeling. "We need change, right? So we're starting from that."</p><p>Mark's face softens and Jaemin knows he did something right for once.</p><p>"Okay," Mark allows, very quietly again.</p><p>"Okay," Jaemin repeats, then drops back down on his stomach to the blanket covered floor, swinging his feet in the air. "So who did you kiss?"</p><p>•</p><p>Jaemin never really noticed how nice earth smells after rain. It's a bit shocking, because he finds that smell addictive right now.</p><p>"It's pretty great, right?" Mark says.</p><p>He seems calm and Jaemin basks in the feeling of having him there, present with all his being, not lost in his thoughts.</p><p>They're sitting on one of the benches in front of the guesthouse. The sky is dark and clear, of a truly beautiful indigo hue, stars twinkling brightly without the light pollution that tags along with big cities. They spent the whole day together, talking about boys, girls, kissing, life, conspiracy theories and memes, and Jaemin feels oddly content. After dinner, he dragged Mark outside, wiping the bench dry with a tissue, so they could sit comfortably. None of the young workers they'd met have shown up throughout the day, but the old lady from this morning was at the counter during dinner, and she gave Jaemin an apple for free. Jaemin is not disappointed he didn't see Jeno since the morning; he came here to spend time with Mark, after all. Any new acquaintances can wait.</p><p>"It feels kind of," Mark searches for the right words and Jaemin waits, staring into the sky. "Endless," Mark says finally. "It's like we could get swallowed by eternity, emerge back at any given point in time. Like everything is nothing and nothing is everything."</p><p>Jaemin's chest expands at the words, the stars so close he could reach out and pluck a few right out of the inky darkness. Leave it to Mark to be able to put that feeling into words.</p><p>"That's deep, bro," he says in English, because he knows Mark will nudge his side and huff a laugh.</p><p>"You're such an asshole," Mark says after doing just that.</p><p>"You love me," Jaemin murmurs.</p><p>He wouldn't mind being swallowed by the universe, he thinks.</p><p>"Yeah," Mark says, and they both fall quiet.</p><p>Jaemin doesn't want that feeling to ever vanish.</p><p>•</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day starts with Mark pushing him out of bed. Jaemin knows that's the only method to properly wake him, but it doesn't make him feel any better.</p><p>"We're going on a hike!" Mark announces grandly.</p><p>He's all over the place, packing their bags, making his bed, opening the window, kicking Jaemin again for good measure. Jaemin watches him from the floor, trying to tame his murderous intent. An excited Mark is kind of like a little lion, clumsy, enthusiastic about the world and adorable, but that's way too much for Jaemin's undercaffeinated brain.</p><p>"Do not even talk to me before I've had my morning coffee," he mutters, still on the floor. "If I didn't feel like death, I'd already be strangling you."</p><p>Mark raises an annoyed eyebrow, gathers all of Jaemin's uncooperative limbs and throws him into the bathroom.</p><p>"I'll go and buy you coffee, don't try going back to sleep or we'll spend the whole, <i>entire</i> day hiking."</p><p>"I hate you," Jaemin mutters, mostly to himself, struggling with his pants.</p><p>"No, you don't!" Mark yells back through the door.</p><p>Jaemin curses his exceptionally good hearing and walks into the shower.</p><p>Twenty minutes and a triple shot espresso later, he's in a slightly better mood, and lets Mark pull him downstairs and to the canteen to have breakfast. Jisung is manning the till today, and Jaemin fusses over his scrawny form with far more familiarity than is probably acceptable, but the boy only flushes slightly and tells Jaemin he's not his real dad, also with far more familiarity than is probably acceptable, so Jaemin thinks it's all fine. They barely find a table and sit, Mark still making fun of Jaemin's motherly instincts, when the chair next to Jaemin scrapes back and Donghyuck falls on it gracefully, all charming smile and fluffy hair and sly eyes.</p><p>Mark, understandably, stares. Jaemin would wage it's about thirty percent because he's surprised someone joined them and seventy because Donghyuck is one of the most beautiful boys in the world.</p><p>"Hi," Jaemin says, because both Mark and Donghyuck are too busy looking at each other. "I told you I met Jeno's friend, right? This is Lee Donghyuck."</p><p>"You can call me Haechan, if you want," Donghyuck allows, batting his eyelashes.</p><p>Mark clears his throat.</p><p>"Right. Nice to meet you," he hesitates, "Haechan."</p><p>It's the right response, judging by the grin that brightens Donghyuck's face.</p><p>"And?" he asks.</p><p>"And?" Mark repeats, dumbfounded.</p><p>Jaemin looks up to the ceiling to pray for the poor guy's brain cells.</p><p>"Well, what's your name?" Donghyuck says carefully, like he's talking to a rather slow child.</p><p>"Oh!" Mark exclaims, his ears immediately going red. "Right, yeah! Sorry, uh, I'm Mark! Mark Lee! You can call me, well, um, Mark."</p><p>Jaemin tries to cover his snort with a cough, but Mark's face gets wonderfully pink, as he sends a murderous glance Jaemin's way. Not a successful attempt, then. Donghyuck laughs openly, his face scrunching up in an extremely cute way. Mark seems half indignant, half charmed. Jaemin is enjoying the show.</p><p>"Nice to meet you, too, well-um-Mark," Donghyuck says.</p><p>Mark pouts. Jaemin tries another unsuccessful cough. Donghyuck grins.</p><p>"Hey, by the way, not that I'm complaining," Jaemin says, "but what are you doing here?" <i>Besides ogling Mark</i>, he adds in his head. "Breakfast?"</p><p>"Oh, right," Donghyuck says, but doesn't spare Jaemin even one glance, which - rude. Jaemin thinks he will graciously forgive him, though. Just this once. He's too curious to get hung up on insignificant things like a lack of manners. "Jeno wanted me to tell you to meet him at the clearing after dinner," Jaemin's insides flutter wildly and he's already halfway into daydreaming land by the time Donghyuck adds, this time talking to Mark, "And you can visit the gift shop, I might even give you a discount, if you ask nicely," he winks and stands up, waving at them before leaving the canteen.</p><p>Mark seems speechless, but Jaemin is too busy thinking about Jeno to make fun of him for it.</p><p>"What gift shop?" Mark asks finally.</p><p>Jaemin sighs dreamily.</p><p>"Come on, let's just eat and go for that hike and I'll show you on the way out."</p><p>Mark nods, remembering they were actually supposed to have breakfast. Jaemin is too focused on Jeno's perfect calves that might come out today, since it's sunny and warm again, to be able to eat much, but he packs them some snacks from the vending machines and they embark on their journey.</p><p>"So, uh," Mark says after a while. They're on their way to the highest peak in the park, and sharing the path with all kinds of tourists. Jaemin is already sweaty and he hates himself for putting on jeans instead of shorts. "That- that Haechan guy," Mark continues and stops.</p><p>"Yeah?" Jaemin asks smugly.</p><p>Mark averts his gaze, squinting in the harsh sunlight.</p><p>"Nothin'," he mutters.</p><p>Jaemin clucks his tongue.</p><p>"You already told me all about that Lucas dude you've been regularly making out with at Johnny's parties and I told you we're changing things, right? So I'm not letting it go, spit it out."</p><p>Mark hisses at him to shut up, glancing uneasily at a young couple with a kid passing by them.</p><p>"It's not a crime to kiss boys or talk about kissing boys, hyung, they have to deal with it."</p><p>Mark looks at him, inhaling and opening his mouth, probably to scold him, but eventually, he deflates.</p><p>"Okay," he mumbles. "Fine. What do you think he meant when he said that stuff about visiting him in the gift shop?"</p><p>"He wants a piece of that ass," Jaemin informs him matter-of-factly.</p><p>Mark trips on uneven ground and Jaemin saves him from sprawling out on the path at the last second.</p><p>"You're really hopeless, you know that?" he informs Mark, grinning like an idiot, because it's all just so simple and amusing and positive.</p><p>"Piss off," Mark grumbles begrudgingly. His ears are pink. "You just surprised me."</p><p>"You should know me well enough by now to be used to it," Jaemin shakes his head in disapproval.</p><p>"Damn you and your dramatic ass," Mark huffs. They resume their walking. "So you think he's, uh, you think he's into me?"</p><p>"Obviously," Jaemin confirms. "But you should be able to tell when someone's into you, since you managed to find someone to make out with that easily."</p><p>"Oh my god, can you stop talking about that?" Mark groans. "You know I'm too awkward when it comes to these things! Lucas was just really direct about it, so it was easy. I can't like, flirt! How do you even do that? Is there a way to learn? I don't wanna humiliate myself in front of a pretty boy just because I'm useless at literally everything!"</p><p>"Okay, calm down, edge lord, damn," Jaemin spots a nice resting spot and heads over there, reaching to his bag for water and snacks. "You're not useless. Flirting isn't a skill determining your worth in this world."</p><p>Mark flops down on the bench next to Jaemin, defeated.</p><p>"Well, it sure feels like it," he squints at Jaemin with sudden sharpness. "You're good at flirting, though. What do you think I should do?"</p><p>"Honestly?" Jaemin shrugs. "Leave it up to Donghyuck. He clearly knows what he wants and how to get it. So you're gonna go visit him in the gift shop and just, uh, go with the flow. Your personality and your face will do their job, you don't have to stress out about it."</p><p><i>Even though it's better to stress out about this than the other stuff that's been on your mind</i>, Jaemin doesn't say. He's determined to make them enjoy the simplicity of it all before they have to go back to the complicated reality.</p><p>Mark heaves a sigh, but he seems somewhat appeased. Satisfied, Jaemin hands him a sandwich.</p><p>They make it to the top somehow, even though Jaemin's barely able to catch his breath by the end. That specific feeling is back, the afternoon stretching into eternity, dragging them along, until they don't feel real anymore. Harsh sunlight bleaches them to the point of losing them between everything else. The mountains are so much larger than they should be, powerful in their stoic calm. When Jaemin breathes in, it's like he inhales at least half of the world. It lodges itself in his lungs and refuses to leave, and Jaemin doesn't know how he's going to go back to anything, because it doesn't seem like that complicated reality he was thinking about earlier still even exists. Maybe it's gone and Jaemin's whole life just passed here, in this openness of the mountains and this air filled with everything.</p><p>He waits for Mark to give it all a clever name, like he did last night, but Mark only throws an arm over Jaemin's shoulders and breathes, and they stand there, at the top of the world, for what feels like eons.</p><p>Finally, Mark pats his back and says, "We should go or we'll be late for dinner."</p><p>Jaemin expects the feeling to disappear, but even that simple, casual sentence doesn't ruin the atmosphere. The air of intense vagueness holds strong even as they make their way back. It's silent and contemplative, and Jaemin is torn between wanting to run and touching Mark in any way, suddenly bursting with energy. Mark feels the same way, because he grabs Jaemin's hand and pulls, and they're running so fast, it feels like they're not far from flying. Mark's laugh rings in Jaemin's ears, wild and unrestrained, just like the woods around them, and Jaemin doesn't care about the looks other tourists throw their way.</p><p>It's another few minutes that feel like years before they slow to a walk and then collapse on the grass next to the path. The universe seems to have aged a little, while they didn't, and Jaemin greedily swallows as much air as he can, his body tingling from exertion.</p><p>"Let's never do that again," Mark wheezes out, even though they both know they probably will.</p><p>"You think we're lying on some endangered species?" Jaemin asks offhandedly.</p><p>Mark only swats at his arm and wheezes again, this time something that sounds almost like a chuckle.</p><p>They gather themselves up finally. The rest of the way down is slow and painful, but Jaemin thinks it might have been worth it.</p><p>"Dibs on the first shower," he announces as soon as the guesthouse comes into view.</p><p>"You sneaky fucking bastard," Mark says without any heat.</p><p>He's barely walking by now. Jaemin lets him lean on himself heavily, even though his legs feel like jelly.</p><p>Warm water feels like paradise. Jaemin stands under it for way too long, and by the time Mark showers and they go downstairs for dinner, he's considering asking Donghyuck to tell Jeno he's too dead to be able to reach any clearings tonight.</p><p>"No way," Mark says immediately. "If I have to suffer awkward social interactions, then you're going over there to meet Jeno. I will not hesitate to kick your ass, don't try me."</p><p>And the thing is, it's much easier to drag his exhausted feet to the clearing than argue with Mark when he gets this adamant about something. They'd argue for hours on end. Jaemin guesses it's a miracle they're so compatible, when they're both so horrendously stubborn.</p><p>Mark hesitates only a little before heading towards the gift shop. Jaemin chooses to think it's his shit eating grin that finally makes Mark move. Jaemin waits until he hears Donghyuck's enthusiastic exclamation and begins the slow walk to the clearing. His legs ache like a motherfucker already.</p><p>The sun is quickly turning orange, bruising the sky with light pink. The shadows are long, sinking the woods in soft blues and greys. Jaemin takes a break to let his muscles rest and leans on a tree, letting the half-darkness consume him. When he resumes his walk, the clearing emerges from the forest without a warning. Jeno is nowhere to be seen. Jaemin hears a rustle somewhere to the side and gulps. He tries to tell himself he's safe, that animals wouldn't come so close to a tourist establishment, but there are no tourists in sight and the clearing is just deep enough in the woods that they might feel safe to roam, especially under the protection of night.</p><p>"Jeno-ah?" Jaemin tries, raising his voice only a little.</p><p>Something pops into existence a few feet away from him, at the center of the clearing. It takes Jaemin a minute and probably a mild heart attack to understand it's Jeno, sitting on the grass.</p><p>"Jaemin!" he exclaims happily.</p><p>Jaemin doesn't see any murderous birds around, so he deems it safe to approach Jeno.</p><p>"You made it," Jeno says.</p><p>He looks and sounds so pleased, Jaemin can't help smiling. There is no hat this time, Jeno's black hair falling softly on his forehead, and- Jaemin's stomach flips. The socks are in place, hugging Jeno's perfect calves again.</p><p>"Barely," Jaemin groans, dropping heavily on the ground, as his legs scream in pain.</p><p>"Why, what happened?" Jeno asks with a little frown that Jaemin wants to smooth out.</p><p>"We might have overdone it," Jaemin admits with a grin that he hopes will redirect Jeno's attention from Jaemin's stupidity.</p><p>"Overdone it?" Jeno repeats, undeterred, and Jaemin sighs.</p><p>Great, now he has to tell Jeno how dumb he is.</p><p>"We hiked today, reached the highest peak and then ran a bit on the way down. My legs didn't appreciate it."</p><p>Jeno tuts, his frown deepening.</p><p>"Seriously, are you touched in the head?"</p><p>Jaemin gasps at the insult. He didn't expect such words from Jeno at all. He doesn't even have any retort.</p><p>"Show me, c'mon," Jeno gestures at him and Jaemin can do little more than stretch his legs in front of him and let Jeno do whatever he wants. "Oh shit, you won't be able to walk tomorrow, if you just leave it like that," Jeno warns him after kneading his muscles a little.</p><p>Jaemin was so focused on Jeno's calves that he sure as hell didn't think it would come to Jeno touching his own. Not that he's complaining.</p><p>"I'll massage them later," he mumbles, torn between sharp ache and bliss caused by the fact that Jeno is touching him. "Probably."</p><p>Jeno pauses and shoots him a look. Jaemin bats his eyelashes to appease him, but it doesn't seem to work all that well. Jeno heaves an impressively long sigh and rearranges them a little to have better access. Jaemin watches his slim fingers dig into his legs and wishes he had the foresight to put on shorts instead of sweats. Jeno seems to agree.</p><p>"This would be much more efficient in a different setting," he grumbles.</p><p>"Oh?" Jaemin hums.</p><p>He really wants Jeno's hands to move up.</p><p>"Yeah, it's no good with the pants and I think I have some massage oil in my room," Jeno says, blessedly oblivious.</p><p>Jaemin grins to himself.</p><p>"Is that so?" he purrs.</p><p>Jeno's head snaps up finally and it's only a little regretful that there isn't enough light to see his face go pink.</p><p>"That's not what I meant," he says quickly.</p><p>"So it wasn't an invitation?" Jaemin asks.</p><p>It's easier to be bold in this semi-darkness.</p><p>"You're really-" Jeno starts and hesitates.</p><p>His hands are still on Jaemin's legs, warm through the layer of cotton.</p><p>"Incredible?" Jaemin suggests.</p><p>"Shameless," Jeno decides.</p><p>"Cool," Jaemin counters.</p><p>"Sneaky."</p><p>"Awesome."</p><p>"Shady."</p><p>"Are they all gonna start with an s?" Jaemin laughs.</p><p>Jeno presses a little harder and Jaemin yelps. They're quiet after that and it's a strange sensation, with the world darkening around them, with the chill settling on their shoulders, with Jeno's impossibly warm hands between them. It's like they're suspended in time, two shapeless beings in the middle of existence.</p><p>"How was it?" Jeno asks suddenly. His voice is different, sounds like the evening surrounding them. Jaemin looks up at him in question. "Being up there, I mean," Jeno clarifies. "How was it?"</p><p>Jaemin opens his mouth to tell him, but no words come.</p><p>"I can't explain it," he murmurs, helpless. "It was different than anything I've ever felt. Incomprehensible. Divine, maybe. Profound."</p><p>Jeno's lips stretch in a slow, knowing smile.</p><p>"I'm glad," he says quietly, like he's sharing a secret. "I thought you wouldn't get it."</p><p>The night smudges them into almost nothing, and yet, this here feels so important, so unlike any other possible moment that could ever happen.</p><p>"Jeno," Jaemin whispers. Jeno's hands are leaving searing brands on his skin even through the sweats. He wonders if he's about to ruin it all. "Have you ever kissed a boy?"</p><p>"Yes," Jeno answers honestly.</p><p>Maybe not that ruined, after all.</p><p>"Have you ever kissed a boy on this clearing?" Jaemin asks, eyes straining to keep Jeno's lips in focus.</p><p>Jeno laughs, a soft and pretty sound.</p><p>"No."</p><p>Jaemin shifts slowly, forgetting about his aching legs.</p><p>"Do you really think I'm shameless?"</p><p>Jeno's breath catches in his throat and his warm hands curl into the fabric of Jaemin's pants.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>It's barely a sound and Jeno's gaze is stuck on Jaemin's mouth.</p><p>"Do you mind?" Jaemin barely knows what he's saying anymore, fingers moving all on their own until they're in Jeno's silky hair.</p><p>He can feel Jeno's warm breath on his face. Jeno shivers slightly, and Jaemin's lips touch his before he can even finish uttering another no. </p><p>Jaemin doesn't remember the last time he kissed someone. It was probably his ex all those months ago that might have as well been whole years. Kissing Jeno feels a lot like magic, a lot like all those books describe it, a lot like what Jaemin has never felt before. It might be the darkness or the wilderness surrounding them, it might be that divine feeling from earlier, or it might be Jeno. Jaemin isn't sure, but he's not dead set on finding out. Jeno's mouth is as warm as his hands, warmer even, and Jaemin lets the sensation swoop him up and swallow him more and more, until he's not sure he has a solid form anymore. Jeno is definitely liquid under his hands, constantly moving and letting himself be moved. Jaemin doesn't know when exactly they stop. It's surreal and not at all final, as if they're kissing and not-kissing at the same time.</p><p>This whole retreat thing might be messing with his head.</p><p>He can barely see Jeno's face by now, even from this close, and a bit of reality sips through. Jaemin wonders, if Jeno brought a flashlight, or if he just knows the way by heart now, because Jaemin wasn't even smart enough to bring his phone.</p><p>A sudden stream of light efficiently distracts him and he turns over his shoulder to see what it is.</p><p>"Hey, pink guy, are you here?!" </p><p>It's Chenle, and it seems he ran here, because when he gets closer, Jaemin notices how messy his hair is, then the layer of perspiration covering his flushed cheeks, when the light from his phone accidentally hits his face.</p><p>"Oh thank fuck!" he wheezes, bending in half to regulate his breathing. He adds something in Chinese, then straightens back up and says, "We gotta go, come on!"</p><p>Jaemin tries to stand up and his legs promptly give out. He gathers himself back up quickly, though not without a flare of pain.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"Your best friend slash brother!" Chenle says, already half turned to lead the way back. "He's having some kind of an attack or something, I don't know!"</p><p>Jaemin's stomach drops like a rock and he attempts to run only to realize his legs are too shaky for that. He can't believe something like that had to happen today, when he decided to be fucking dumb.</p><p>"Get on my back," Jeno says.</p><p>Jaemin raises his eyebrows at him incredulously.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Less looking dumb, more getting on my back," Jeno tells him firmly, and Jaemin doesn't even protest, clambering on Jeno's back clumsily.</p><p>It's extremely weird, but on the plus side, Jeno's hands are finally where Jaemin wanted them to be, curling around his thighs to hold him up. Jeno's strides are sure and long, and Jaemin marvels at his strength briefly, before he remembers Mark needs him and grows restless again. </p><p>With Chenle leading the way and Jeno not stumbling even once, they make it back to the guesthouse in record speed. Jaemin expects them to head to the gift shop, but Chenle takes them behind the reception desk, opening a door to some mysterious back room. Jaemin doesn't care where they are, he drops from Jeno's back and hurries to Mark's side, sitting on his haunches on the floor in front of him. Well, not exactly in front of him, because someone else is already there, but close enough to touch his knee.</p><p>"Hyung!" he lets out, frantic.</p><p>"Jaemin-ah," Mark manages between shortened breaths, but he doesn't look as bad as Jaemin expected.</p><p>There is a lot Jaemin wants to say right now. <i>Are you okay? What happened? What triggered it? What do you need?</i> What gets out of his mouth is, "I'm here."</p><p>Mark nods, letting his head thunk back against the wall. Jaemin glances down at Mark's hand that is in Donghyuck's tight grasp, then at the other guy who's kneeling next to him on the floor in front of Mark. And gasps.</p><p>"Is it like, a requirement to be pretty, if you want to work here or something?" he asks in awe.</p><p>The guy throws him an unimpressed look, but even that doesn't make him look any less angelic. Then, he looks back at Mark, his face softening considerably.</p><p>"You're doing great, hyung. Just control your breathing like that and you'll be fine."</p><p>If he called Mark hyung, then they must be fairly familiar with each other.</p><p>"Thanks, Renjun-ah," Mark croaks. "It's better already."</p><p>"What happened?" Jaemin asks, turning first to Renjun, then to Donghyuck when he doesn't get a response.</p><p>"We're not really sure," Donghyuck shrugs, but he seems more affected by the situation than Jaemin would have expected.</p><p>"There was a sound," Chenle says suddenly.</p><p>Jaemin turns over his shoulder to look at him. Jeno is standing right next to Chenle with a slight frown. Chenle looks somber and it doesn't suit him at all.</p><p>"What kind of sound?" Jaemin asks.</p><p>"This building has its own boiler room and we're right above it," the beautiful guy Mark called Renjun says. "There are all kinds of machinery down there and it's pretty old. Something just banged or something, I'll tell Jisung to check it out tomorrow."</p><p>Jaemin gets it now. He tightens his hand on Mark's knee in silent support. It's a miracle of its own that Mark still willingly gets in a car. He's even set on not letting Jaemin drive and does it himself, but that's probably a side effect as well. Maybe something that has to do with control or lack thereof. Any sounds resembling a crash send him right back to that day, though. It's not surprising that he freaked out, if something banged under his feet. Jaemin swallows the residing guilt caused by having been somewhere else at the time. He lost count of how many times he's done that long ago. He doesn't have a choice. His guilt isn't something that would help Mark in any way. He swallows the memory of the choking fear he felt when he saw Mark in that hospital bed as well. They're supposed to be getting over it.</p><p>"Chenle-ah, why don't we go and tell Jisung about it right now?" Jeno says. Chenle's confused protest gets drowned in the added, "You coming, Renjun-ah?"</p><p>Renjun stands up swiftly, pats Mark's arm and says, "I'll get you some tea."</p><p>"Damn," Jaemin comments. "You really know what you're doing."</p><p>Renjun looks down at him like he's not even worthy of being stepped on.</p><p>"I've lived four years surrounded by weak tourists and Jisung's asthmatic ass," he says flatly, then glances at Jeno, "Does every guy you like have to be dumb?"</p><p>Jeno gets flustered right on cue, his ears going pink, and drags a reluctant Chenle out of the room in a mad rush. Jaemin feels like he should be offended, but that's not the part his brain decides to focus on.</p><p>"Do you really think he likes me?" he asks way too eagerly.</p><p>Renjun rubs his forehead with a heavy sigh.</p><p>"Do you realize your hair is pink?" he finally says, moving towards the door.</p><p>"What?" Jaemin calls after him. "What's wrong with pink hair? Hey!"</p><p>Renjun easily ignores him, closing the door after he leaves, so Jaemin only grumbles to himself a little before his attention is back on Mark. And Donghyuck, who has been silent through the whole exchange.</p><p>"Hyung?" Jaemin asks, still on the floor and still clutching Mark's knee.</p><p>Donghyuck's hand is also still firmly gripping Mark's own.</p><p>"I'm fine," Mark says and his voice breaks immediately. He clears his throat and his face reddens. "Honestly, this is so embarrassing. I'm really okay, you don't have to like, coddle me or whatever."</p><p>"Shut up," Donghyuck says quietly. Jaemin can't figure out his expression. "This isn't fun, I only got to harass you for like, an hour, that's not enough to compensate for having to suddenly worry about you."</p><p>Jaemin blinks at him, because what the hell, that's rude as fuck. He's prepared to say that out loud, but then Mark sighs, and that sigh changes into a groan halfway.</p><p>"You're so annoying, oh my god," he complains. "If you don't want to participate in this drama then let go of my hand."</p><p>"No," Donghyuck says simply and Jaemin hides his grin. </p><p>So that's how it is. Well, who is he to judge the dynamics his brother and new best friend have going on? </p><p>Donghyuck smiles obnoxiously. </p><p>"Are you kidding? I love drama, I'm not going anywhere."</p><p>He sends Jaemin a discreet wink. Jaemin is glad they're getting along. Mark scoffs, but doesn't try to get free. Donghyuck soon coaxes them into a discussion about music, which really gets Mark going, and Jaemin is relieved. Renjun gets back after a few long minutes with the tea and watches Mark closely until he drinks it all. It's nice, to be surrounded by people who care without any pity or ulterior motives added to the mix. Jaemin sits on the floor with Donghyuck's foot digging into his hip and makes fun of Mark for being a baby, and of Renjun for being an overbearing parent, even though that's usually Jaemin's job. It's been a while since they spent time with people who weren't distant relatives with faux comforting words and questions about the house and what Mark's going to do with it. It's also been a while since Mark calmed down so fast after a panic attack. He keeps touching the side of his head, consciously or not, but it seems even the rough tissue of scars hidden under his hair doesn't bother him as much as it usually does. Jaemin's hands itch to feel Mark's shoulder and side, just to run his fingers over the damaged skin, like Mark lets him do once in a while, but he stays put. Sometimes, Jaemin wishes he had physical scars to fixate over instead of poking the ones in his mind the same way you poke an aching tooth with the tip of your tongue.</p><p>Jeno and Chenle return a while later, dragging a confused Jisung with them.</p><p>"Why do I have to check that now?" Jisung is whining, and Jaemin has the urge to pull him into his lap and smother him in hugs. "It's late already, you know I hate going down there when it's dark."</p><p>"You can turn the light on," Jeno tells him incredulously.</p><p>"I could also turn my PlayStation on," Jisung counters. "I really don't get- hey!" he exclaims suddenly, pointing at Mark and Jaemin. "I know you! You're the guy who always tells me to eat more!"</p><p>"In my defense, you're really thin," Jaemin says with a shrug.</p><p>"That's because I grew a few inches in a short time," Jisung informs him, puffing out his thin chest in pride.</p><p>"And we have to hear about it all the damn time," grumbles Chenle, very obviously shorter than Jisung.</p><p>In fact, Jaemin thinks everyone gathered in the room is shorter than Jisung.</p><p>"You should sleep it off," Donghyuck tells Mark and Jaemin's attention is averted from height problems. "You're on vacation, right? And you won't be going anywhere tomorrow either way, since you couldn't pace yourselves like adults," he adds sweetly and both Mark and Jaemin send him a petulant glare. "I'm sure our Jeno could convince the kitchen aunties to put away some food for you and bring it to you later."</p><p>"Oh, no, that's fine!" Mark protests immediately, because he's a modest moron like that. "We can't possibly ask you to do something like that, you already did plenty and we can just eat something from the vending-" his frantic sentence ends in a pained hiss and he glowers down at Jaemin.</p><p>Jaemin retreats his foot from where it connected with Mark's leg with a grin.</p><p>"We'd be so grateful, if <i>our Jeno</i> could do that," he says cheerfully.</p><p>He knows it was worth it, when he glances at Jeno and sees bright pink neck and ears. Flustered is a great look on Jeno, and Jaemin remembers suddenly that they actually kissed, even though it doesn't feel like it was real at all.</p><p>"Right, uh, sure, I can," Jeno attempts bravely, "I can do that. Yeah."</p><p>He seems to have remembered, too.</p><p>"Great, then we're gonna head off to bed now," Jaemin announces.</p><p>He tries to stand up, but of course it's not that simple, and Renjun pulls him to his feet with a smug grin. Mark is in a much better condition - because the world hates Jaemin - and holds him up, as they stagger to the door. Jeno stops them with a light hand on his arm and leans in to say quietly, just for Jaemin to catch, "I guess it's breakfast to bed tomorrow, but don't get too used to it. I'm not usually that easy."</p><p>Jaemin barely has the time to stare at him in surprise, get over it and blow him a kiss, before Mark pulls him out of the room. He takes it back. The world doesn't hate him at all. Who would have thought. Certainly not Jaemin.</p><p>"This was a really weird fucking day," Mark says, as they begin the agonizing climb to the third floor.</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin mumbles, dazed. "I kissed Jeno."</p><p>Mark almost drops him down the stairs from sheer surprise.</p><p>•</p><p>During whining about his aching muscles in the morning, Jaemin catches himself thinking he doesn't want these two weeks to be over. It's almost eleven now and Mark just woke him up because he was bored.</p><p>"Maybe I'll just go down there to get us breakfast instead of making Jeno do it?" Mark suggests for the third time.</p><p>"I know that for some reason you're not suffering as much as I am, but you could at least let me have that," Jaemin says, also for the third time.</p><p><i>That</i> being Jeno coming to their room with food and possibly a smile. Jaemin feels like he hasn't seen Jeno's smile in forever. He might be addicted.</p><p>Mark rolls his eyes, but gives up, closing himself in the bathroom. Jaemin lies back down in the bed and thinks about Jeno's eyes. He might drift off again, because it takes him a while to register the knocking. His brain barely even catches up before he's already on his feet, groaning under his own weight. The first thing that greets him after opening the door is a mountain of plastic boxes containing food. The second thing is Jeno's sunny grin right above the mountain.</p><p>"Hi," Jeno says cheerfully and Jaemin almost melts to the floor right where he stands.</p><p>"You really came," Jaemin blurts out.</p><p>Jeno tilts his head to the side in adorable confusion.</p><p>"I said I would, right?"</p><p>Jaemin is already leaning in, but he remembers he still hasn't brushed his teeth and morning breath sucks. Jeno doesn't seem to have such qualms, however, and easily breeches whatever space Jaemin left between them to press a sweet kiss to Jaemin's mouth. Jaemin wants to pull him in again, but the mountain of boxes and the fact that they're still in the threshold and anyone could walk by stop him. He circles Jeno's waist to get him inside the room instead.</p><p>Mark exits the bathroom in the next second, crowing victoriously once he sees all the food.</p><p>"Yo, that's awesome, man, thanks," he tells Jeno sincerely, and Jeno's grin gets even wider.</p><p>Jaemin could look at him for two years without a break and not get bored.</p><p>"No problem, always glad to help," Jeno chirps, and when Mark busies himself with opening the boxes, he leans in to whisper to Jaemin, "You don't expect that to be for free, right?"</p><p>Jaemin twitches, as his stomach flips, and whispers back, "If you also massage my legs, I'll do whatever you want in exchange."</p><p>Jeno's ears are glowing, but his eyes darken, and Jaemin's skin breaks out in goosebumps.</p><p>"Deal," Jeno says.</p><p>Mark pretends not to see them at all. Jaemin knew he had chosen his brother wisely. They eat breakfast in easy, pleasant atmosphere, and then Mark says he can't stay in all day, if the weather is so nice. Jaemin doesn't even think of going anywhere. Jeno has a day off and claims he's spending enough time outdoors as it is. Mark doesn't call him out on it, but he does smirk at Jaemin before leaving them alone in the room.</p><p>"You sure you wanna spend your day off inside with me?" Jaemin asks after he's brushed his teeth.</p><p>Jeno stares at him in a way that makes Jaemin feel like he should cover himself up, despite wearing a proper shirt and his basketball shorts, and says, "How do you feel about cats?"</p><p>They end up outside the guesthouse, Jaemin in a slight daze because of another ride on Jeno's back, Jeno with a can of tuna and sparkling eyes. Three cats gather around them, rubbing their little furry bodies on Jeno's calves, and ridiculously, Jaemin is a little envious of them. Jeno was delighted when he was training his birds, but he looks almost ecstatic now. Jaemin watches him in adoration, and when one of the cats deems him worthy of being a resting place, he just lets it be. He doesn't think he's ever had a cat sleep in his lap and the weight is comforting and warm.</p><p>"She likes you!" Jeno exclaims with way too much enthusiasm, but Jaemin indulges him with a grin and a victory sign.</p><p>He'll take a cute boy with a cat fixation over sitting alone being bored any day.</p><p>Jeno carries him inside after a while of playing with cats. Jaemin is in the middle of thinking he should start doing something more than basketball, if a simple hike destroyed his muscles so much, when he realizes Jeno isn't taking him back to his and Mark's room. He leans closer, floral scent of Jeno's shampoo overwhelming his nose for a second, and asks, "Are you trying to kidnap me?"</p><p>Jeno snorts. He's warm where their bodies stick together, his grip on Jaemin's thighs gentle but sure.</p><p>"Oh yes, I've been waiting for you to fuck up your legs just so you wouldn't be able to escape after I locked you up," he drawls.</p><p>He says fuck like it's a guilty pleasure, something he lets himself utter only once in a while to keep the satisfaction of cursing from wearing off, and Jaemin suddenly feels hot under the collar of his thin t-shirt. His breath might catch a litte, and he's not sure, if Jeno notices.</p><p>"Why would I even want to escape?" he murmurs, close to Jeno's ear.</p><p>There is no reaction except for a slight falter in Jeno's step. Jaemin feels accomplished anyway.</p><p>They enter another part of the building and another stairway, and Jeno takes them up to the third floor. It doesn't look like the tourist part, more like an apartment block hallway, and Jeno places Jaemin down to search for his keys. The room is spacious and decorated in a way that is all Jeno, from the collection of all kinds of gaming equipment to the pictures of Jeno with his friends and various cats covering the wall above the bed. There is also a kitchenette and a desk that barely peeks out from under books and notes and drawings.</p><p>"You have a balcony!" Jaemin notices, not wasting a second to open the glass door and limping his way over to the railing.</p><p>The wind ruffles his hair and clothes, leaving him breathless and filled to the brim with summer. The mountains loom over him, but instead of making him feel small, it's like they open up the whole world for his taking. Jaemin closes his eyes in the sunlight and lets himself be pulled apart just for a moment, every piece in a different direction, until he's not a person at all, but a bundle of thoughts and emotions, untouchable and free. Then, he turns around and leans back on the railing to look at Jeno.</p><p>Jeno is standing in the threshold, and he could very well be modeling for a photoshoot with the way he's treating the doorframe as a prop. There isn't an ounce of khaki on him today, denim shorts hugging his thighs and a baby blue sleeveless tee exposing his arms, and Jaemin might be drooling.</p><p>"Isn't this weird for you?" Jeno asks without any preamble. Jaemin raises his eyebrows in question and Jeno makes an aborted gesture between the two of them. "You know, this. Do you always flirt with random dudes when you're on vacation?"</p><p>Jaemin grins.</p><p>"It's the first time I'm on vacation, so it's hard to say."</p><p>"Really?" Jeno hums thoughtfully. "You look like someone who'd enjoy vacation."</p><p>"I am, so far," Jaemin shrugs. "I just never had the opportunity before, you know?" And to prevent Jeno from asking about it, he adds, "And yeah, it is a little weird, but like, in a good way. You're just a cute boy who doesn't know what my name means, who isn't set on treating me a certain way just because of my background. I can be myself here, but also less of myself than I usually am, if that makes any sense? I don't have all that extra stuff with me here, it's just me, just Jaemin and nothing more or nothing else, you know? That's why I'm having so much fun flirting with a random dude like you."</p><p>Jeno leans his head on the doorframe and crosses his arms on his chest, and Jaemin stares.</p><p>"Nothing like this has ever happened to me," Jeno admits. "I just kinda wanted to know if you can sense who's safe to flirt with. Most guys would punch your teeth in, if you tried."</p><p>Jaemin did not think about that when he first flirted with Jeno.</p><p>"You seemed like a good guy," he says, trying to play it off. "Not like someone who'd punch my teeth in, even if you were straight."</p><p>Sunlight is stretching the day thin, but it looks good bathing Jeno's pale skin and dark hair, sharpens his edges, deepens his colors. His eyelashes are dark and thick.</p><p>"You're actually an airhead, aren'tcha," Jeno guesses with a delicate smile.</p><p>"Are you gonna let me play on that sick gaming console you have or not?" Jaemin asks to avoid admitting Jeno hit a bullseye.</p><p>Jeno laughs easily, warm and airy, like the day around them.</p><p>"Sure, but just so you know, I'm gonna crush you."</p><p>"You're gonna crush on me, you mean," Jaemin corrects with a provocative smirk.</p><p>"Yeah," Jeno says, turning around to go back inside. "It might be too late already."</p><p>•</p><p>Jeno doesn't want to carry him down for lunch, because Jaemin <i>should walk it off</i>, so Jaemin refuses to go to the canteen at all, just to be spiteful. Then he realizes Jeno has his own cooking equipment, so he makes food for them there, from whatever he can find in Jeno's fridge. It's not much, but enough for some fried rice. Jeno sits on the only chair in the room and sulks at his back because Jaemin shooed him away the second time he almost cut off his own finger. Jaemin finds that clumsiness unbearably endearing. They eat, talk about aliens and space, play some more games, and Jaemin finally remembers they had a deal.</p><p>They have left the balcony door open, and the wind has quieted down, flowing gently through pale blue, translucent curtains. It feels like nothing else exists except for this room, and the mountains visible through the windows are just a painting.</p><p>"Okay, but don't complain, if it hurts even more," Jeno warns, and even though they've known each other for less than four days now, he must be aware that Jaemin will complain no matter what happens.</p><p>It's refreshing to be known like this, as just Jaemin and all his weird quirks, instead of the things gathered over twenty two years that he's been known as until now. He feels a little raw, scrubbed clean right to the bone, but it's not bad. It's not oppressive or dangerous, just new.</p><p>Jeno tells him to lie down on the bed with his front to the mattress. Jaemin abandons his basketball shorts unprompted. Lying in Jeno's indigo sheets in underwear feels anticipatory. Jeno goes over three drawers before he joins him, sitting at the foot of the bed.</p><p>"Won't we ruin the sheets?" Jaemin asks when he hears a bottle being uncapped.</p><p>"Oh yeah, I'll get a towel," Jeno agrees, standing up again.</p><p>The sheets smell flowery and a bit musky, and Jaemin allows himself two seconds of breathing it in like the biggest creep, then he sits up to make arranging a towel easier once Jeno gets back from the bathroom. His heart is pulsing in his ears, heavy and disbelieving, and the sun is yellow on his skin, looking into the room in long stripes. Jeno returns and hands him the towel. The wind picks up and runs in a chill over Jaemin's exposed legs. Jeno notices and closes the balcony, and the sudden silence makes Jaemin's heart seem that much louder.</p><p>"Don't look at me like that, it was your idea," Jeno huffs out in a laugh, but his face is a little flushed, and Jaemin doesn't understand how someone can be so pretty.</p><p>He grumbles about the unfairness of the world under his breath and lies down.</p><p>Jeno's hands, when they finally touch him, are big and warm and slippery. Jeno doesn't press too hard at first, smoothing sure fingers over Jaemin's calf, and Jaemin lets himself slip into a false sense of safety right before those fingers dig into his muscles with surprising vengeance. Jaemin yelps and doesn't even have time to feel embarrassed about it, because it doesn't stop. His fists automatically clench in the sheets, looking for some kind of relief, and Jeno says, a little breathless, "You can let it out, this is the last room on this side of the building and the neighboring one is empty."</p><p>Jaemin really feels like he was kidnapped only to be cruelly tortured. He can't even answer, too busy grinding his teeth together. Jeno gives him a little break, his touch relaxing again.</p><p>"You're really tense, you know," he observes. "You should think about playing some sport or something."</p><p>Jaemin thinks about the basketball practice he had been skipping through most of the summer. It doesn't matter anyway, he won't be returning to school after what happened. He needs to find a proper job.</p><p>"I'm doing the other leg, brace yourself." Jeno effectively breaks him out of his thoughts.</p><p>The torture continues until Jaemin is embarrassingly sweaty, but his legs feel loose, almost like they're not there at all.</p><p>"You didn't just cut them off, right?" he asks Jeno just to be sure.</p><p>"You're so dramatic, of course they're here," Jeno snorts and promptly lands a resounding slap on Jaemin's thigh.</p><p>Jaemin gasps, completely and utterly unprepared for that kind of treatment, but it's not entirely unwelcome either. He's even less prepared for that realization.</p><p>"Oh shit, sorry," Jeno says. "Did it hurt a lot?"</p><p>"You're asking now?" Jaemin grits through his teeth, but Jeno only laughs.</p><p>"How do you feel?"</p><p>"Tired," Jaemin groans, barely able to lift his head from the bed.</p><p>"Okay, a proper massage now," Jeno says casually. "You can take a nap, if you want."</p><p>His voice sounds a little smug, and Jaemin feels like a nap would mean he lost, but once Jeno's warm hands are back on his legs and then also lifting his shirt to press on his body in delicate strokes, he wholeheartedly welcomes that loss.</p><p>•</p><p>Jeno wakes him up with a flick to the forehead and proceeds to laugh his ass off, when Jaemin comes to, spluttering and confused.</p><p>"I came down to get some food and Mark was there," Jeno informs him after he calms down. "He said that you should go back to your room tonight, because it's only been four days and he doesn't want you to tarnish the family name. He looked really smug about it, too. You know what he meant?"</p><p>Jaemin stares at him in disbelief for a minute and then decides such selective obliviousness suits Jeno just fine.</p><p>"Yeah," he says and grabs Jeno's neck to pull him into a kiss.</p><p>Jeno flails a little in surprise, but soon, they're settled comfortably on the bed. Jaemin is still in his underwear and the blanket Jeno must have covered him with pools around his hips, as they sit close to each other, sharing breath and warmth. The room is darker now, leftover daylight barely keeping the shadows at bay. It's not the same as being bathed in the night and surrounded by woods, but it's not any less magical, with Jeno's hands warm on Jaemin's waist and back, with Jeno's mouth soft and pliant against Jaemin's own, with the tingling silence around them. The world is gone, the universe fits itself inside a single room, Jeno lets out a tiny sound when Jaemin's teeth pull on his lip. Jaemin's heart is so heavy and so big, it fills him up completely.</p><p>"I'm hungry," Jaemin mumbles when they break apart, both panting slightly.</p><p>"I stocked up," Jeno says with a little grin. "Let's eat something and then we can play again. Maybe you'll finally win."</p><p>"I feel like I already won," Jaemin says, and Jeno chuckles and nudges him, complaining about the cheesiness. "I can't help it," Jaemin pretends to pout. "It's a gift of mine."</p><p>Jeno pulls away to switch the light on and Jaemin squints in the sudden brightness, already missing Jeno's warmth.</p><p>"Well, I can't really argue with that," Jeno concedes.</p><p>Jaemin wants to pull that blue tee off of him and kiss him all over. He decides to get up and finally put on some pants instead. His legs feel a little tender still, but they don't hurt like before, muscles relaxed, and that reminds him.</p><p>"What about our deal?" he asks.</p><p>"Oh, yeah," Jeno tilts his head to the side and makes a thoughtful sound. He's a vision in the warm lamplight, so much pale skin and infectious mirth. "I don't know what I want you to do yet." He sends Jaemin a wink, eyes twinkling with mischief. "I'll collect my payment in due time."</p><p>Jaemin's spine prickles in anticipation.</p><p>•</p><p>"How dare you call me a slut!" Jaemin exclaims as soon as he returns to his room. "Tarnish the family name, really?"</p><p>Mark immediately bursts out laughing.</p><p>"In my defense, I didn't think he'd actually tell you that," he wheezes out.</p><p>"He probably wouldn't have, if he knew what you were talking about," Jaemin grumbles.</p><p>Mark puts away the book he was reading and sits up in his bed to give Jaemin his undivided attention, just like Jaemin likes best.</p><p>"He didn't get it?" Mark asks, eyes wide with wonder. "Shit, that's pretty cute. He didn't seem like the dense type."</p><p>"I mean, he's probably just a bit dumb about some stuff," Jaemin sighs, flopping down on Mark's bed sideways, his head hanging down on the other side. "He knew I was flirting with him right away, though. You'd never know Donghyuck's into you, if you didn't have me to push you in the right direction."</p><p>"Shut up, I'm not that bad," Mark mutters.</p><p>"Getting yourself a make out buddy doesn't mean you're suddenly a relationship guru," Jaemin tells him.</p><p>Mark pushes him off the bed and then, when Jaemin has yelled and cursed in surprise, pulls him right back up. He's blushing. Jaemin gapes.</p><p>"You dipshit! Something good happened with Donghyuck today, didn't it! And you still haven't told me?!"</p><p>Mark scratches his neck in embarrassment.</p><p>"We went on a walk and he showed me one of his favorite spots and we made out for like half an hour."</p><p>He gets it out all in one breath. Jaemin can't believe this. He only kissed Jeno three times, if that peck from the morning even counts, and it was nothing like proper making out. He should have expected it, really. Mark has always been one step ahead of him in everything.</p><p>"It's not such a big deal," Mark mumbles quickly, even redder. "I'm sure you and Jeno did much m-"</p><p>"We didn't," Jaemin mutters.</p><p>"What?" asks Mark, dumbly. "But you spent the whole day together."</p><p>"We mostly played video games and talked and then he performed his massage from the depths of hell on my poor legs," Jaemin sighs, defeated. He really should have expected he'll be envious of Mark yet again. "I mean, we did kiss, but it was just a kiss, nothing more."</p><p>Mark's mouth pulls down in a sad frown and Jaemin shoves him.</p><p>"Don't look so disappointed, you're the one who told me not to be a slut!" Jaemin exclaims, almost laughing despite himself.</p><p>Mark is just so ridiculous sometimes and Jaemin loves him so much.</p><p>"I wasn't being serious!" Mark huffs, shoving back. "I just- he's a dude and I was- I was worried," he finishes quietly, and Jaemin's good mood evaporates.</p><p>Memories reach for him, ugly and unwelcome, but he doesn't let them get close enough to touch. He doesn't know what to say, because Mark already knows everything, and there is no point speculating, if his mental state is stable enough to risk it, when it comes to someone like Jeno. Jaemin won't know until he tries anyway.</p><p>He thumps his forehead against Mark's shoulder in silent gratitude, and Mark pats his back in silent support. Because he truly knows everything already.</p><p>•</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Mountain weather sure changes quickly, huh."</p><p>Jaemin startles, too lost in the fog outside the windows and the fog inside his head. He's been sitting in the gift shop since the morning, bothering a working Jisung. Mark disappeared somewhere with Donghyuck and an apologetic face right after breakfast, and Jaemin realized the error of his ways not much later, when he grabbed his phone out of boredom - he never asked Jeno for his number. Instead of moping around in the room all day, he decided to visit the gift shop. </p><p>He must admit, Jisung's general teenage disposition is growing on him, but Jisung has to work, if a customer actually shows up, so Jaemin's been left to stare at the soggy nature outside more often than not.</p><p>He turns around at the voice and comes face to chest with Renjun. Renjun is the one staring at soggy nature right now. He looks like a storm fairy. It barely makes sense even in Jaemin's head, but he's going to stick with it, because he's not a quitter.</p><p>"If you sit here a little longer, the sun will probably come out," Renjun adds. His black eyes slide down to Jaemin's face, and he pulls something out of his pocket, holding it out. "Jeno wanted me to give you this. Don't bother Jisung too much, I'm the one his parents always complain about his laziness to."</p><p>With that, he turns on his heel and leaves, throwing a few words Jisung's way once the customer he was serving disappears. No one else enters the gift shop after that and Jisung immediately escapes from behind the counter to sit next to Jaemin on the windowsill. It's a gloomy day that makes even the blood sluggish in one's veins, heavy slowness covering everything around and making it seem like time doesn't move forward at all. Jisung yawns. Jaemin pulls on his arm until Jisung's head is resting on his thighs. He considers the possibility that the need to adopt Jisung was born in his head because he himself had been adopted. Repetitive patterns. Jaemin feels nostalgic and he hates it. He remembers Renjun gave him something from Jeno and he's been crushing it in his fist these past few minutes.</p><p>His heart lurches as soon as he looks.</p><p>"Gave you his number, huh," Jisung mumbles, not even fighting Jaemin's hand playing with his hair. "About fucking time."</p><p>Jaemin gasps.</p><p>"How old are you to say such ugly words, young man?"</p><p>"You're not my real dad," Jisung shoots, which seems to have become his automatic response to Jaemin's bullshit over the few short days they've known each other. "Also, I'm twenty."</p><p>Jaemin is about to respond, but the paper with nothing but a phone number written on it distracts him efficiently.</p><p>•</p><p>Jeno doesn't beat around the bush. Jaemin calls him after lunch, which he spent mostly on making fun of Mark, who looks like he's been mauled.</p><p>"I still have some work to do, but come to my room for dinner later," is what Jeno says as soon as he picks up.</p><p>Jaemin's heart skips, and it's all getting ridiculous.</p><p>"Maybe you're the one who should get laid out of the two of us?" Mark suggests with a disgusting smirk, absently scratching the hickeys on his neck.</p><p>Jaemin tells Jeno he'll be there and hangs up.</p><p>"Maybe you're the one who's a slut out of the two of us," he mutters, narrowing his eyes at the purplish skin.</p><p>Mark has the audacity to laugh, but it at least sounds a little embarrassed.</p><p>They go on a short walk, reluctant to tire their bodies too much. Jaemin brings food for deer with him just in case, and he's not disappointed. The deer show up almost immediately, bolder without so many people around and with the cover of murky day hanging over the mountains. Mark's level of excitement rivals that of a little kid and Jaemin watches him like a proud parent, whose shy child finally broke out of their shell. Mark feeds the deer and simultaneously showers Jaemin with random facts about them. It feels a little tender, a little precious, like the soaked earth underneath them prepared to flourish with newborn plants. Jaemin wishes he brought his camera again.</p><p>"I don't want to leave."</p><p>It slips out before he can hold it in place with his teeth. Mark startles, but when he looks up at Jaemin, there is that tenderness shining in his eyes. Jaemin averts his gaze. Mark is clearly preparing to answer, but in that moment, one of the deer tears the whole forgotten package of crackers out of his hand, and he laughs in surprise. Jaemin feels like he was just saved.</p><p>Mark doesn't mention it again when they return to their room and Jaemin is grateful. He might be slightly ashamed. Just a bit. He didn't want to come here in the first place, it was supposed to be Mark's retreat with him as a tagalong, and that only because Mark doesn't know how to properly function without him there. It was never supposed to be about him.</p><p>He escapes before Mark can attempt a casual question or worse, a solemn conversation. Jaemin isn't sure the pressure in his chest would take it without crumbling and dragging him down with it.</p><p>It takes Jeno a few long seconds to answer the door. Jaemin wishes it took longer, if it saved him from the particular brand of torture experienced upon seeing Jeno with nothing but a towel around his hips and all of that skin damp from a shower.</p><p>"You're early," Jeno says in wonder. </p><p>Jaemin clenches his hands into fists to stop himself from clenching them in Jeno's dripping black hair. He realizes it's not school, not every other boy he has thought of as hot before and knew it didn't matter, not the usual world. It's the mountains, the edge of reality, the boy armed in freedom and horrifyingly casual smile. Jaemin takes a breath and slides his fingers into Jeno's hair.</p><p>Jeno lets out a soft sound of surprise, but doesn't protest. He circles Jaemin's waist with one, quite impressive arm and drags him into the room, kicking the door closed. Jaemin uses the opportunity to press Jeno right back against it. Jeno laughs, an airy exclamation, and his fingers splay themselves over Jaemin's lower back. The kiss is what Jaemin's been waiting for, humid and sticky, and slightly delirious, like hot summer nights. They're both in a rush, even though they have no goal in mind. There is no finish line ahead of them, but they're so desperate. Jeno smells like flowers and soap, tastes like Skittles, and groans straight into Jaemin's mouth when Jaemin pulls his hair just right. It runs in a shudder all the way down to Jaemin's toes. Jaemin's t-shirt is getting a little damp, his chest pressed firmly to Jeno's. There is so much of Jeno to touch, his body hard and almost burning under Jaemin's hands. Jaemin finds a nipple and tweaks, and Jeno gasps, sucks on Jaemin's tongue right after. Jaemin forgot how amazing it is to be so close to something so warm. He wants more, a lot more than this, but when his tongue finds its way into Jeno's mouth and his fingers find their way down to Jeno's navel, Jeno gently pushes him away.<br/>Jaemin pants out a slightly hysterical laugh.</p><p>"Sorry. That was- shit, I'm sorry." He runs a hand through his hair and Jeno's dark eyes follow the movement. "You asked me to come for dinner."</p><p>"That doesn't mean I don't wanna do that kind of stuff," Jeno huffs, amusement stretching his lips into a grin.</p><p>Jaemin stares a little and then, "Oh."</p><p>Jeno giggles.</p><p>"It's just that I'm the only one wearing a towel."</p><p>Jaemin stops himself from suggesting Jeno could wear absolutely nothing, all the time. He looks back to the kitchenette and realization hits him.</p><p>"Wait," he mutters, narrowing his eyes at Jeno, who suddenly looks like a deer caught in headlights. "You didn't ask me to come for dinner, you asked me to come and make you dinner, didn't you."</p><p>Jeno smiles pleasantly and, before Jaemin can react, flees to the bathroom.</p><p>"I'm counting on you, Jaemin-ah!" he calls out through the door.</p><p>Jaemin is stuck somewhere between indignance and hopeless endearment. He does make food. He also makes sure to pointedly complain about it once Jeno leaves the bathroom with his hair almost dry and shorts hanging low on his hips. He seems to feel comfortable without a shirt; this time, it's Jaemin who almost chops off his finger. His tendency to get distracted by everything around him is going to kill him some day.</p><p>They sit on the floor, with a low table between them, to eat. Jeno shovels food into his mouth with such intent, Jaemin is kind of expecting him to choke at some point. He watches closely just in case, but nothing of the sort happens. Jeno just thanks him for the food, looking so happy about the fact he got Jaemin to cook for him, it makes something glow inside Jaemin's chest.</p><p>"Here," Jeno says, passing him a can of soda once his plate is empty.</p><p>Jaemin hastily tears his gaze away from Jeno's collarbones to take it.</p><p>"What do you wanna do now?" Jeno asks, leaning back on his outstretched hands.</p><p>Jaemin takes a sip instead of blurting out <i>you</i>, like he wanted to.</p><p>"Dunno. We can just… do nothing, right? For a while."</p><p>Jeno grins, his eyes curling. His teeth look really cute in that smile.</p><p>"Sure," he says. </p><p>Jaemin drinks his soda, Jeno waits for him to finish it, and they lie down on the floor, bodies in opposite directions, heads close. They don't talk about life or anything serious like that, they don't share anything personal between them. It doesn't matter at this moment.</p><p>The window is cracked open and birds are so loud outside. The most perfect background noise for an almost evening like this. It's that time of day when you haven't realized you should turn the lights on yet. Jaemin wants that time to be only theirs. </p><p>Jeno shifts to his side to look at him, asks, "Do you believe in the concept of soulmates?"</p><p>Jaemin opens his mouth to answer and pauses. He considers it a little more carefully, because it feels like this, of all things, matters a lot. He thinks about Mark, about their unconditionality.</p><p>"Yeah," he admits, voice awfully raspy. He clears his throat and finally twists to his side to mimic Jeno's pose. Jeno's eyes are dark, a little hazy. "I think I do."</p><p>Jeno nods, once, but he doesn't continue the conversation. His gaze is on Jaemin's lips, and Jaemin doesn't ask him why he wanted to know such a thing. That's not the part that matters, probably. </p><p>It's Jeno who moves first. Their mouths press into one another again. The angle is weird, but Jaemin doesn't mind. He sucks on Jeno's tongue greedily, letting all thoughts fizzle out in favor of sensation. One of Jeno's hands pushes on the back of his head to get them closer. Jaemin minds that even less. He wants-</p><p>Jeno pulls away, their lips parting with a tiny smack.</p><p>"Has it been a while already?" he asks. His eyes promise things Jaemin has held himself back from wanting for so long. "Can we do something now?"</p><p>He's probably referring to something Jaemin said before, but Jaemin's brain isn't keeping up.</p><p>"Yeah," he mumbles, barely able to stay in place and not chase after Jeno's mouth. "Yes, yeah," he babbles.</p><p>Jeno grins, a glint of something sharp in the curve of his lips.</p><p>"My hip is starting to hurt, come on," he says only, gathering himself up and off the floor.</p><p>Jaemin feels feverish, not entirely present, not entirely comprehending. He lets himself be dragged up to his feet and pushed lightly, and he sobers up a little, when his ass meets the soft surface of Jeno's bed.</p><p>Jeno is standing over him with a strange face, as if it's not fully the face Jaemin came to know. His spine prickles; it's exhilarating to think about how much of Jeno he still isn't familiar with, how much he can discover. He spreads his arms with a cocky smile and Jeno doesn't make him wait, settling on his lap, knees hugging Jaemin's hips. They kiss again and again, Jeno licking eagerly over his lip. It's a little bit messy, saliva pooling in Jaemin's mouth and almost escaping through the corner of it. Jaemin swallows around Jeno's tongue. Jeno makes a sound; Jaemin's lips and brain are tingling. It's a little messy, but good, makes Jaemin unaware of the twinge in his back, until he nibbles on Jeno's lips that must be tingling as well, until it causes Jeno's hips to twitch, a slip of control. Jaemin gasps, his head jerking back at the unexpected friction.</p><p>"Sorry," Jeno pants, a little laugh punching out of his lungs.</p><p>Jaemin shakes his head, fixes the hold he has on him, arms folding around Jeno's waist, and pushes his face down into Jeno's neck. Jeno's long fingers slip into his hair and tug, and Jaemin's teeth almost ache with the need to sink into Jeno's skin. He doesn't intend to hold back anymore, not when Jeno's surprised hiss turns into a choked up groan as soon as Jaemin pulls on the abused skin with his mouth, presses his tongue to it, repeats the process, moves on to other unblemished patches of Jeno's pale neck. Jeno's voice gets deep and throaty, its hoarseness vibrates against Jaemin's scalp when Jeno drops his face into Jaemin's hair.</p><p>It's hot down here. All Jaemin's lungs are inhaling is Jeno. Jaemin can already feel his bangs stick to his forehead, Jeno's damp breath from above not helping. Jaemin runs his nails down Jeno's back lightly and is rewarded with another hiss-turned-moan and another roll of Jeno's hips.</p><p>Do something, Jeno said. Well, they're definitely not stopping at making out, if Jaemin has any say in this. His back twinges again.</p><p>Jeno grabs two fistfuls of Jaemin's t-shirt and pulls, not waiting for permission. Jaemin fumbles a little, surprised, but goes along with it easily enough. Now that he's not pressed so closely to Jeno, he gulps a few deep breaths. He lost his stability, so he leans back on his hands. Jeno shifts in his lap, making them both shiver. He's staring at Jaemin's chest with something that makes Jaemin want to simultaneously cover up and puff out to show himself off. No one's ever made him feel like that. Jaemin is a little dizzy.</p><p>Jeno looks up at him and places a hand on his sternum, applying just the tiniest bit of pressure, asking for permission. Jaemin crumbles immediately. He didn't think Jeno would pause at moments like this, but it is the first thing they've done that Jaemin could potentially be uncomfortable with. With kissing, you figure things out on the go, with this- well, not everyone likes to be on the bottom. Jaemin appreciates how considerate Jeno is. He falls back down onto the bed.</p><p>Jeno smiles, the cuteness of it clashing with the way he looms over Jaemin. There is half a second during which Jaemin is eleven again, but then Jeno bends down to lick into his mouth and desire effectively squashes every stupid, unwanted thought. He sighs in content, slowly but surely turning liquid, until the only part of his body he's aware of is his mouth, heated up and almost unbearable. The rest of him has sipped into the sheets or maybe Jeno drank him like that soda from earlier.</p><p>Jeno sits up right before Jaemin starts feeling lightheaded from the lack of oxygen between them. His body is still there, as he finds out when Jeno's hands slip down his torso. He's also fully hard, as he finds out when Jeno carefully presses their hips together.</p><p>"Fuck," Jaemin mumbles, because Jeno is hard, too, and Jaemin wants to touch him.</p><p>Jeno chuckles, a low, breathy sound, and curves his spine more than he did before, closing his mouth around Jaemin's nipple. Jaemin knew he was sensitive, kind of. He might have put it into the back of his mind, because his last two girlfriends didn't really care about his pecs. He's reminded with the delicacy of a frying pan to the head, when Jeno sucks a bruise into his skin right above the nipple he just caught in his teeth. He lets out a sound louder than anything until now, and Jeno startles, enough to rub their cocks together again.</p><p>"Did it hurt?" he asks, looking up at Jaemin. </p><p>His concern is audible, but loses its visibility somewhere between the shadows of the poorly lit room. Jaemin considers telling him they should switch the light on, but he likes it like this. He enjoys the intimacy of the dark, the odd trust that comes with getting close in need of catching a glimpse of an expression. Another time, he thinks to himself, and the feeling of loss upon realizing they barely have a little over a week left almost makes him forget about Jeno's question.</p><p>"No," he mutters. He gives up on his voice, it drops into the pits of hell every time he's so turned on anyway. "T'was good. Keep doing it."</p><p>"Okay," Jeno exhales along with a giggle. </p><p>He glances down at Jaemin's chest and rolls the nipple he already abused between his fingers. Jaemin groans and it makes Jeno's lips pull into a smile. Jaemin thinks. It's really hard to tell in the darkness.</p><p>"Your chest is really hot," Jeno informs him.</p><p>His voice is hoarse, too. And he's a boob person. Jaemin wants to make fun of him for it, but Jeno leans in to suck on the other nipple, and everything evaporates from Jaemin's head. He's not worried about being loud, Jeno told him to let it out when he was massaging his legs, and Jaemin doesn't think nipple playing makes him louder than he was then.<br/>Jeno isn't holding himself back anymore, pressing their crotches together with quick, shallow thrusts. Jaemin wonders, if he's going to come just from that. He pulls on Jeno's hair to get him to release his chest, because his words don't work when it feels so good to have Jeno's tongue flick across it in kitten licks. Jeno's breath catches at the treatment, but he follows Jaemin's hand without a protest. Jaemin runs his fingers through his hair in a mild apology.</p><p>"Do you wanna get off?" he asks, shivering a little at the cool air of the room slipping over his spit slick skin.</p><p>Jeno nods. His breathing is uneven and his hips don't stop moving for a second.</p><p>"How?" Jaemin chokes out.</p><p>Jeno tilts his head to the side. Jaemin can't really see his face.</p><p>"Dunno," Jeno mumbles. "I've never really done this."</p><p>"Oh," Jaemin says. "That makes two of us."</p><p>"Really?" Jeno asks carefully.</p><p>"Yeah, I've only had sex with girls before," Jaemin shares.</p><p>Jeno's head turns a little more and down, into his chest.</p><p>"I meant I've never done this with like, anyone."</p><p>Jaemin stares at his barely visible silhouette in shock.</p><p>"Seriously?"</p><p>It takes Jeno a second to whisper, "Yeah, so can we, you know, like this…?"</p><p>Jaemin slaps his knee with a laugh.</p><p>"You're getting shy now? Really? After what you did to my nipples?!"</p><p>And Jeno finally straightens and giggles, casual and beautiful, like he should be.</p><p>"Sorry about that," he says in the most unapologetic tone of voice Jaemin's ever heard. Jeno's fingers sweep over the multitude of marks he sucked and bit into Jaemin's chest. "It looks pretty now," he mumbles, almost like he's not aware of saying it out loud.</p><p>Well, Jaemin can't be mad now, can he? Not that he ever planned to be mad. It felt good and he doesn't mind hickeys at all.</p><p>"C'mere," he murmurs, pulling Jeno down by his neck.</p><p>They've kissed so much, Jaemin should want to focus on other stuff, but he doesn't. Kissing Jeno is such an appealing prospect.</p><p>Jeno hums in content, slotting their mouths immediately. His fingers are busy on Jaemin's chest, pinching his now oversensitive nipples, scratching down his sides, and his hips pick up their pace, where they're rolling on top of Jaemin's own. Jaemin shifts a little, enough to be able to hook his leg on the edge of the mattress and meet Jeno's thrusts halfway. They both hiss at that, and suddenly, everything is fast and urgent. Jaemin didn't think he could come so quickly just from dry humping, but his gut squeezes in arousal, heat pooling low and making him whine. They're not even kissing anymore, panting into each other's mouths more than anything, and then Jeno delivers a particularly harsh twist to Jaemin's nipples, and orgasm crashes through him without a warning.</p><p>Jeno startles a little at his choked up moan, pulling away to look at him in alarm, but doesn't stop moving, letting Jaemin ride it out, once he realizes what's going on.</p><p>"Wait, wait," Jaemin gasps, when it becomes too much.</p><p>Jeno stills obediently and entertains himself by licking over Jaemin's neck, while Jaemin waits for the tingles in his whole body to stop.</p><p>"I thought you've had sex before," Jeno huffs teasingly right into his ear.</p><p>Jaemin groans and slaps his arm, and Jeno laughs.</p><p>"Shut up," Jaemin grumbles. "No one's ever payed so much attention to my boobs."</p><p>"Shame," Jeno says. "They're so nice."</p><p>Jaemin can't help the slightly delirious giggle that escapes his throat.</p><p>"Gimme a sec, yeah?"</p><p>Jeno hums non-committally and gets back to leaving chaste kisses all over Jaemin's neck and then face. Jaemin enjoys that instead of thinking about the sticky mess his underwear is right now. When his breath calms a little, he smooths his hands down Jeno's back to communicate he's good. He didn't, however, predict it will make Jeno jerk with his whole body, his hard cock rubbing over Jaemin's softening one. Jaemin yelps and Jeno leaves a few quick, apologetic kisses on his lips.</p><p>"Sorry, you surprised me," he mumbles into Jaemin's mouth.</p><p>"Let's change position, okay?" Jaemin suggests weakly.</p><p>Jeno nods right away. Jaemin is almost sure he's grinning, the little shit.</p><p>They rearrange on top of the sheets, Jaemin lying down on his side and leaning his weight on his bent arm, Jeno the one on his back this time. They fit their mouths together once, twice, before Jaemin asks, "Can I touch you?"</p><p>One of Jeno's hands sneaks into his hair.</p><p>"Yeah," Jeno sighs.</p><p>"You sure?" Jaemin presses.</p><p>Jeno nods solemnly.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Here goes nothing, Jaemin thinks. He wages it should be fine, if he's the one touching, but who knows. At least Jeno is a good person. Even if Jaemin freaked out, he probably wouldn't just leave him alone with it.</p><p>Jeno is patient, probably sensing it's a bigger deal for Jaemin than for him, despite the fact it's Jeno's first time and not the other way around. Jaemin still can't believe anyone could ever look at Jeno and keep themselves from touching him. A boy like Jeno should have guys and girls lining up to get their hands on him.</p><p>They're both a bit on edge, Jaemin notices. He plasters himself to Jeno's side to lessen it, dips his tongue into Jeno's mouth. Jeno melts against him in an instant, tension bleeding out of his muscles. Jaemin spares a minute or two on palming Jeno through his soft shorts, to help them both somewhat prepare for what's next. Jeno is letting out those tiny sounds, his breath puffing out against Jaemin's face, and Jaemin loves having him like this. After a while, Jaemin carefully pulls on the edge of the shorts, until they're not in the way of properly getting Jeno off. He interrupts their making out to lick over his palm, before he circles it around Jeno's cock. Jeno's breath falls short. It's easier to see his expression, when they're so close.</p><p>"You good?" Jaemin whispers.</p><p>Jeno's fingers tighten in his hair a little. He looks at Jaemin with something not unlike wonder.</p><p>"So weird," he mumbles, "Didn't think it'd feel like this to have someone else touch your dick."</p><p>"Want me to stop?" Jaemin asks, even though he didn't even start.</p><p>He just has Jeno's cock in a loose hold, trying to get them both used to the sensation.</p><p>"No," Jeno says and smiles against Jaemin's jaw. "Make me come," he mutters, teeth as sharp as the sudden attitude.</p><p>Jaemin lets the sting keep him in focus, because he's pretty sure the words just fried some wiring in his brain. </p><p>He moves his hand, finally, trying to be certain in his touch, trying to remember how he does this to himself, figure out the differences between that and the way Jeno wants him to do it. Jeno's fingers that aren't currently making him half bald circle his wrist. Not a suggestion or a hint, or a command, just a searing brand. Jaemin is suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to kiss him again, so he does, swallowing all the noise, pressing close, closer, until he can't smell anything other than Jeno, until he can't taste anything other than Jeno, until all he feels is this boy giving him two handfuls of trust and a dizzying rush.</p><p>Jeno leaks a lot, Jaemin finds out after a moment, sweat slipping slowly down his temple and the back of his neck. The slide is more slippery now, Jeno throbs in his hand and drives him mad with his mouth. Jaemin rubs the heel of his palm over the head of his cock, and Jeno shudders, moaning quietly. It's not any less astonishing than the first time Jaemin did that in order to gather precum and spread it over his length. He doesn't really look, but he thinks Jeno is bigger than him. It's so weird and Jaemin doesn't feel freaked out at all.</p><p>"Jaem- in," Jeno breathes after Jaemin flicks his wrist on the upstroke. "Gonna cum."</p><p>"Yeah?" Jaemin rasps, nips on the thin skin of his neck. "Cum for me, baby."</p><p>He increases his pace, and Jeno stiffens against him after two pulls, his face dropping to Jaemin's shoulder. Jaemin works him through it diligently, until Jeno's fingers grip his wrist harder.</p><p>They lie there, still twisted in each other. The silence is filled with Jeno's breaths and the sounds of night dripping into the room through the window. Sheets rustle quietly when Jaemin moves his legs.</p><p>"Jeno," he mumbles into Jeno's damp hair, but raises his head to ask, "Was this okay?"</p><p>Jeno's deliciously long fingers are still in his hair, but not pulling anymore. Doubts creep up on him easily in the darkness. They should have switched the light on.</p><p>"Okay?" Jeno repeats with a dazed giggle. His eyes are completely black, when he rolls his head up to glance at him. His body is pliant under Jaemin. "You're joking, right? You only want me to boost your ego, admit it."</p><p>"What, no, that's not what I meant," Jaemin protests, but he's a little relieved at that reaction.</p><p>"Then what?" a tiny frown appears between Jeno's eyebrows and Jaemin can't stop himself from leaning in to kiss it.</p><p>"It's just, if you haven't been touched like this before, it might have been too much or- I don't know. People rarely have good first sexual experiences."</p><p>"Jaemin-ah," Jeno says quietly. "You just touched my dick and made me come. If it wasn't good, I wouldn't have come and also would have probably told you to stop. It's not that complicated."</p><p>Jaemin exhales and slumps down next to Jeno on the bed.</p><p>"Okay," he mutters, now very relieved. </p><p>It's all fine. They're both adults, Jeno wanted to do this as much as Jaemin did and neither of them did anything the other wouldn't like. It's different.</p><p>"Hey," Jeno says. He turns to his side and wraps himself around Jaemin like a beautiful, fit koala covered in gross bodily fluids. "You know, I managed a prostate orgasm once, but being touched by you was even better than that."</p><p>Jaemin whips his head to look at him so fast, something in his neck snaps. He gapes.</p><p>"You thought I was completely clueless," Jeno says flatly, even though his eyes glitter with amusement.</p><p>Jaemin nods very slowly, then scrambles to sit on his haunches, so that he can bow.</p><p>"Forgive me, oh masturbation god," he exclaims.</p><p>Jeno laughs delightedly and when Jaemin glances at him (because he can't miss Jeno's face when he's in the midst of a delighted laugh), Jeno pulls him back down to the bed.</p><p>"I don't know if anyone's told you that, but you're super weird," he informs Jaemin, still giggling.</p><p>"I'm serious!" Jaemin huffs. "This sounds like an admirable accomplishment!" he pauses and then mumbles, "and also kinda scary."</p><p>"You've never put your fingers up your ass?" Jeno asks, genuinely curious.</p><p>Jaemin grimaces.</p><p>"I've tried a few times, but it didn't feel good and I mostly got frustrated."</p><p>"You probably tried to do it too fast," Jeno hums. "Life is not porn, you know, it takes time, you gotta work up to it."</p><p>Jaemin glances at Jeno's long, long fingers and immediately wants to chuck himself out the window.</p><p>"A lot of people tells me I'm weird," he decides to say.</p><p>"Yeah, I figured," Jeno chuckles, his nose scrunching up.</p><p>Jaemin gets closer to peck it and Jeno rewards him with pulling him into a proper kiss.</p><p>"Shower?" he asks once they part.</p><p>"Yes," Jaemin groans. "And you're letting me borrow clothes."</p><p>His underwear feels completely stiff now. Jeno laughs and they stumble their way over to the bathroom. Harsh light makes them squint, but they get over it quickly. Jaemin wishes it took a little longer, because then maybe he wouldn't have seen his chest in the mirror. </p><p>"Holy fuck," he mumbles, stunned, poking at the angry purple bruises. "I look worse than Mark."</p><p>"Sorry, sorry," Jeno hums casually, checking the temperature of water and dropping his shorts and underwear to the floor in one smooth go to step into the cabin.</p><p>Jaemin glares at him, but then his gaze is pulled to the cum drying on Jeno's lower stomach like a magnet. He slides it down to Jeno's dick soon, and he feels satisfied with himself. Still not freaking out. He remembers his briefs and his hand are covered in cum, too, which is a decidedly worse situation than Jeno's in, so he unglues the offensive clothing before it's plastered to his body forever and hastily joins Jeno under the spray.</p><p>Jeno's neck looks only marginally better than Jaemin's chest and he can't say he's not proud of himself. Jeno levels him with an unimpressed look, but he cracks after half a second, grinning at Jaemin like an idiot.</p><p>They soap up, comfortable silence spreading along with the steam. They've only just seen each other fully now, so the next few minutes pass on looking at each other and comparing. Just bro things, Jaemin thinks. Jeno's cock is in fact bigger than Jaemin's, but not by much, and Jaemin decides to believe he's at least thicker. Jeno's hips are thinner than his own, but Jaemin's abs are slightly more defined. His arms have no chance against Jeno's, though. He's only a little sad.</p><p>"Turn around, I'll wash your hair," Jeno says finally.</p><p>He seems relaxed and sated. Jaemin really is proud of himself.</p><p>"Wanna stay over?" Jeno asks, when Jaemin's eyes are closed to prevent shampoo from getting into them, and Jeno's long fingers are massaging his scalp.</p><p>"If you really give me clothes, then sure," he mumbles, blissed out.</p><p>"You think I'm so mean that I'd let you out of here in a jizzy underwear?" Jeno asks with mirth.</p><p>"You're a man of the forest," Jaemin slurs. "Who knows."</p><p>"That doesn't mean I'm a caveman," Jeno laughs openly now. "I'll give you and your dramatic ass some clothes, don't worry."</p><p>Jaemin doesn't even get offended, too happy about the gentle way Jeno is treating his head and hair.</p><p>"I'll stay then," he says. "Oh, but I'm gonna have to make a trip to the room anyway."</p><p>"Why? I'll also give you a spare toothbrush."</p><p>"No, I mean, I don't have my phone with me, I should let Mark know," Jaemin mumbles, slowly turning into a very satisfied Jell-O under Jeno's hands.</p><p>"Jaemin-ah," Jeno says.</p><p>His hands pause their ministrations.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I have a phone," Jeno says incredulously.</p><p>"Yeah, but," Jaemin starts and pauses. He turns over his shoulder to crack an eye open at Jeno. "Right, I know Mark's number!"</p><p>Jeno blinks at him a few times and then bursts out laughing, almost bending in half from the force of it. Jaemin doesn't appreciate it.</p><p>"What," he complains, grumpy.</p><p>"You're just really weird," Jeno wheezes out. "It's great."</p><p>Jaemin can feel himself flush way more than the water was making him, and he crosses his arms on his chest in a display of discontent. Jeno straightens and presses him into the tiles, stuffing his tongue into his mouth until Jaemin forgets why he was disgruntled in the first place.</p><p>•</p><p>"Hey."</p><p>Jaemin squirms away, trying to continue sleeping.</p><p>"Hey."</p><p>Jaemin cracks one eye open and comes face to face with Jeno, who pokes him one more time for good measure.</p><p>"What," Jaemin grumbles.</p><p>"Did you call me baby last night or did my brain like, come up with that on its own?" Jeno asks.</p><p>Jaemin stares at him.</p><p>"Is that why you woke me up," he asks flatly.</p><p>"No." Jeno smiles, his eyes curling up, and at least half of Jaemin's bad mood evaporates. "I have some stuff to take care of, so I have to get dressed soon. You can go back to sleep, if you want, I'm gonna leave a spare key next to the stove, if you wanna go, okay?"</p><p>"Mhm," Jaemin says.</p><p>Jeno pokes him.</p><p>"You're not listening at all, are you. Where am I gonna leave the key?"</p><p>Jaemin snuggles closer and buries his face in Jeno's neck. From the glimpse he caught, the day seems grey with a subtle orange tinge, birds trying to tear their throats by singing, even though the window is closed. It must be early.</p><p>"What key?" Jaemin mumbles, just to be difficult.</p><p>Jeno's chest shakes against him. He might be laughing, but Jaemin would bet he's at least a little annoyed with him.</p><p>"You're seriously-" Jeno groans, but his hands are in Jaemin's hair, soft.</p><p>"Is it gonna be another thing that starts with an s?" Jaemin asks, more awake now and hating it.</p><p>"If you want," Jeno says, scratching lightly over his scalp. Jaemin prompts him with an expectant hum. "Stupid," Jaemin groans in protest. "Suspicious. Sly."</p><p>"Seriously?"</p><p>"Sexy," Jeno says next, and Jaemin raises his head to look at him.</p><p>"Oh? Keep going, baby."</p><p>Jeno gives him a sweet smile.</p><p>"I've run out."</p><p>"What-"</p><p>"So you did call me baby!" Jeno interrupts with enthusiasm, as if he just discovered a big mystery.</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin sighs, giving up. "You don't like it?"</p><p>"Depends," Jeno says.</p><p>He shifts away from Jaemin and it's suddenly a lot colder.</p><p>"On?" Jaemin asks.</p><p>So maybe he doesn't hate being awake as much as usual. Jeno sits up, his hair flopping down on his forehead softly. He looks down at Jaemin.</p><p>"Do you always call people you have sex with baby?"</p><p>Jaemin curls in on himself to preserve warmth.</p><p>"Sometimes. It's just the easiest one."</p><p>"Yeah, I don't like it," Jeno says and gets up from the bed, leaving Jaemin to blink after him.</p><p>"Jeno-ah, are you jealous?"</p><p>Jeno walks over to his dresser a pulls out cargo pants. Jaemin groans internally.</p><p>"Not really," Jeno says, casual to a fault. "I guess I just like being different."</p><p>That is not something Jaemin expected to hear. Jeno finds the khaki shirt and pulls it on.</p><p>"Do you have something you'd rather be called in mind?" Jaemin asks after giving himself a moment to process.</p><p>His brain is shit in the mornings without coffee. </p><p>"Nope." Jeno looks towards the bathroom, then waves his hand in dismissal. Jaemin would tell him to go brush his damn teeth, if he wasn't so thrown off by this conversation. Jeno opens the door to the room and looks back at him with a grin. "Nothing in mind," he says, "so you can go wild."</p><p>"You want me to come up with a pet name?" Jaemin asks. "For you?" he adds unnecessarily.</p><p>"Where is the key, Jaemin?" Jeno asks.</p><p>"Next to the stove," Jaemin answers automatically.</p><p>Jeno's grin widens into something almost feral.</p><p>"Good boy," he says and then he's gone.</p><p>Jaemin really needs caffeine.</p><p>When he called Mark from Jeno's phone last night, he didn't get any questions. Mark only told him to come down for breakfast and that he'd buy Jaemin coffee. Jaemin glances at Jeno's alarm clock glaring at him from the makeshift nightstand that is really just a stool. It's six forty three and Jaemin can't fathom how he's even allowed to be alive at this hour, much less awake. He reluctantly sets an alarm for two hours to somehow make himself crawl downstairs around nine, and buries further into Jeno's pleasantly smelling sheets. </p><p>•</p><p>Mark is already sitting at a table next to the windows, two trays of food in front of him and an impassive look on his face. He waits for Jaemin to plop down on the chair opposite and before saying anything, carefully slides the coffee towards Jaemin. Smart move. Jaemin drinks half of the cup in one big gulp, sighs heavily, and looks back at Mark.</p><p>"And?" Mark asks.</p><p>Jaemin recalls Jeno's eager mouth destroying his chest last night and grins. The taste of coffee pops in his mouth, bitter.</p><p>"It was awesome," he says. "I didn't freak out."</p><p>"Yeah, dude!" Mark crows, moving his hand up.</p><p>Jaemin slaps it dutifully in a high five so loud, it drags a few startled stares of other patrons their way. Jaemin doesn't care. He's in an exceptionally good mood as for the early hour.</p><p>"By the way, do you know any nice pet names?" he asks.</p><p>Mark groans in defeat.</p><p>"I knew you were gonna share some weird detail, keep that shit to yourself, man, I have my own problems."</p><p>"Like what?" Jaemin asks, too curious to take the words personally.</p><p>Mark scratches at the bruises littering his throat. Some of them are starting to fade, but Jaemin thinks there are fresh ones. Mark leans closer, prompting Jaemin to do the same. Mark's gaze sweeps around nervously. It's like they're back in middle school, Mark telling Jaemin about the girl that had confessed to him and <i>oh my god she's here, Nana, I don't wanna date her, what do I do?!</i></p><p>"What if, hypothetically speaking, I wanna, uh, do- stuff. With Hyuck," Mark mutters so fast, Jaemin barely catches it.</p><p>"Do stuff," he repeats, flatly.</p><p>Mark flushes right on cue.</p><p>"Yeah, y'know, like, more than make out. Hypothetically."</p><p>"Hypothetically," Jaemin parrots.</p><p>Mark glares at him, losing his patience fabulously fast. Jaemin sighs.</p><p>"You told me not to share details, but now you're asking me to share details, are you aware of that?"</p><p>"Well, it's only hypothetical," Mark says stubbornly.</p><p>"I will strangle you," Jaemin tells him.</p><p>Mark pouts, looking down at his half finished food. Jaemin caves, like he always does.</p><p>"Fine, just- fine. What are we talking here, exactly? What stuff do you wanna do? You're aware that if it's just more than making out, then you basically touch each other, yeah? And also that I've never sucked a dick, so I won't give you any pointers?"</p><p>Mark splutters and sinks in his chair until he's barely visible over the table. His glowing forehead is what Jaemin focuses his gaze on.</p><p>"Forget I asked," Mark gurgles.</p><p>"Oh come on, you're a big boy, just tell me what you're thinking." Jaemin rolls his eyes.</p><p>Mark straightens somewhat and begrudgingly shoves another spoonful of food into his mouth. He chews, swallows and fixes his sulky stare on Jaemin.</p><p>"I'm thinking Hyuck has done stuff with guys before. I'm thinking that for some reason, he really like my ass. So if I'm to let him anywhere near it, I gotta prepare myself."</p><p>"What filth are you talking about in public?"</p><p>They both snap their heads up. Chenle is standing over their table with the widest grin, eyes glinting with something dangerous. Mark gets so startled, he almost falls to the floor along with his chair. Jaemin catches him at the last second.</p><p>"Great, you're the alleged expert on queer stuff, aren't you," Jaemin says, patting the chair next to him to make Chenle sit down. "Give us some of your amazing advice."</p><p>Chenle gracefully lowers himself to the seat, the grin still in place.</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"Hyung is scared of letting Donghyuck finger him," Jaemin relays.</p><p>Mark lets out a strangled sound and disappears under the table. </p><p>"Well, I know jack shit about the technicalities of sex, since it doesn't interest me," Chenle starts, "but I can assure you Hyuckie-hyung knows what he's doing and won't make you feel uncomfortable. Well," he backtracks, "not physically at least. But you seem to be into the verbal abuse." He's talking to Mark, as if Mark is still sitting opposite of them. "Anyway, he has at least two kinds of lube and your ass isn't the first one he likes, so just go for it."</p><p>Mark lets out a high-pitched wail from his place under the table. Jaemin accidentally on purpose kicks what feels like his knee.</p><p>"Thank you for the input, Mr. Expert," Jaemin says solemnly, making a show out of shaking Chenle's hand.</p><p>"No problem!" Chenle chirps. "By the way, isn't that Jeno's shirt?"</p><p>Jaemin shows all his teeth in his grin and Chenle laughs raucously, patting his back with too much force. Just like Mr. Lee.</p><p>Chenle leaves soon, because apparently he ditched work to grab a snack, and Jaemin finally coaxes Mark out from under the table. Mark is still red and indignant, but Jaemin decides to spare him and doesn't make fun of the whole ordeal. They go back to the room in silence. Jaemin considers changing clothes, but he likes the ones he dug up from Jeno's dresser. As everything that has had the chance to be in close proximity to Jeno, they have a subtle floral scent. Jaemin makes a mental note to ask what kind of fabric softener he uses.</p><p>"I hate you," Mark grumbles, flopping down on his bed. "You're so confident when it comes to sex, and you also don't have hickeys. Must be nice fooling around with someone who isn't a freaking vampire."</p><p>Jaemin looks at him for a moment and then pulls the baby blue tee up in one swift motion. Mark stares at his chest with impossibly huge eyes.</p><p>"What the f-"</p><p>"Vampire - no," Jaemin says. "Worse, it's a puma. I'm stuck with a big kitten and I think I was mauled last night."</p><p><i>Kitten</i>, he thinks suddenly. That's it! Jeno might actually like that.</p><p>"Holy shit, dude," Mark offers, astonished.</p><p>Jaemin's chest looks way worse than Mark's neck, there is no doubt about that. Jaemin lets the tee fall back down. The day is still grey, but the orange tinge of the morning changed into something almost yellow. Jaemin opens the window and breathes in. The air is humid and still; there might be a storm later in the day. The greenery somehow doesn't yield to the everpresent greyness. Jaemin's hands itch and he clenches them into fists. He has never photographed a storm before.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Mark asks quietly.</p><p>The air inside the room changed slightly, adopting the unbearable motionlessness of outside.</p><p>"Nothing," Jaemin mutters.</p><p>Mark sighs audibly and Jaemin turns over his shoulder to look at him in question.</p><p>"Okay, fine, just don't get mad, yeah?" Mark says.</p><p>He's not on the bed anymore. Jaemin watches with a sense of detachment as he crouches next to his backpack Jaemin thought was empty, because they took all of their clothes and accessories out and placed them all over the room. When Mark straightens, he's holding a case. It's a case Jaemin knows so well, he can already feel the ridges of its material, despite standing on the other side of the room.</p><p>"You brought it here?" Jaemin whispers.</p><p>Mark stretches his arms and Jaemin lets him deposit the case into his hands.</p><p>"I figured maybe you'd wanna get back to it, if it's here," Mark mumbles.</p><p>Jaemin's fingers are trembling a little. He opens the case and takes out the camera, the same one Mrs. Lee bought him for his twentieth birthday. It feels both familiar and strange; Jaemin's hands have started to forget the shape, but it's not lost completely. A wave of emotions crashes over him, sweeping him under the surface for a second or two.</p><p>"You're not mad?" Mark asks cautiously.</p><p>"No," Jaemin breathes.</p><p>His throat is so tight. Mark beams, his face lighting up so wonderfully, and Jaemin presses the camera to his face and snaps a shot of that happiness. He's not sure what to do with himself, overwhelmed with gratitude and affection for this boy, who have been better to Jaemin than everyone else in the world combined. Thankfully, he doesn't have to do anything, because Mark protests about not being ready and why would Jaemin even take a picture of him, when there are so many more suitable things to photograph, and he's laughing delightfully, and Jaemin can just set his feet back on the familiar ground of teasing and bickering.</p><p>•</p><p>"I'm gonna sue you."</p><p>Jaemin pulls his camera away from his face to look at Renjun incredulously.</p><p>"For what? I'm just taking a picture, I'm not gonna post it anywhere or anything like that."</p><p>Renjun narrows his eyes at him.</p><p>"I'm sure I could find something," he says.</p><p>Jaemin rolls his eyes.</p><p>"I just wanted to take a picture because you looked pretty."</p><p>Storm fairy, Jaemin thinks to himself, satisfied. It's safer not to share with Renjun how he sees him, because from what the others let slip, Renjun can be rather violent.</p><p>They're outside, Renjun doing whatever his ranger job requires him to do, Jaemin following him in the stuffy air of oncoming storm. Renjun's dark hair looks fucking incredible against the angry blue of clouds rolling over their heads. Jaemin is grateful Renjun apparently doesn't wear a hat like Jeno does. His face is gorgeous in the low lighting. Jaemin takes another shot before he can stop himself.</p><p>"I changed my mind," Renjun says. "I won't sue you. I will bury you alive right here," he points to a patch of grass next to them.</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Jaemin-ah," Mark says, leaning back on a tree with a book on his bent knees. "Don't be mean."</p><p>Jaemin looks at him in shock.</p><p>"How am I the mean one?!" </p><p>"Don't take pictures of people who don't like it," Mark says, disinterested.</p><p>Jaemin is man enough to admit he sulks. Renjun sighs.</p><p>"Why are you two even here?"</p><p>"We're bored," Jaemin and Mark chorus.</p><p>Jeno has been MIA since the morning and Mark didn't want to stay in the room, so they went outside and found Renjun by accident. Mark is going to be fine just reading in some silent company, but Jaemin is restless with energy after getting the camera. He wants to photograph everything.</p><p>Renjun pats Jaemin's shoulder and says, "I'm sure Hyuck won't mind pictures, his ego is so big, it could stand next to him and they'd be the same height. Go bother him."</p><p>Jaemin huffs at them both to go and screw themselves, but he does return to the guesthouse to bother Donghyuck, like he's told.</p><p>Donghyuck is behind the counter in the gift shop, but as soon as he spots the camera, he apparates Jisung out of some magical place to substitute for him and drags Jaemin back outside, utterly ignoring Jisung's complaints. It's fun spending time with Donghyuck. Engaging, or maybe consuming. Jaemin only realizes what time it is, when Donghyuck glances at his phone and says, "Do you want to go to lunch or eat some ramyeon in my room?"</p><p>Jaemin made sure to bring his phone today, so he can easily text Mark to let him know. </p><p>Donghyuck's room is all Donghyuck the same way Jeno's room is all Jeno. There are possibly even bigger amounts of gaming stuff. The bed is white, but the rest is a mishmash of colors that still somehow work together. There are plushies, CDs, Michael Jackson posters, clothes and just all kinds of things. Jaemin loves it. He took plenty of pretty pictures of Donghyuck in nature, but he still wants more. It's like he's been starved for so long, he stopped really feeling it, and now that he got food, he can't stop eating.</p><p>"Do you have any hickeys?" he asks casually, while Donghyuck gets around to making the ramyeon in the kitchenette. "I mean, besides the ones on your neck."</p><p>There are three on his neck, complimenting the bronze tone of it, and Jaemin has <i>a vision</i>.</p><p>"A few on my stomach," Donghyuck says, focused on the food.</p><p>His room is in the same part of the building as Jeno's, but on the second floor. Jaemin briefly wonders where Jeno is right now.</p><p>"Can I take a few shots of them?" he asks.</p><p>Donghyuck sends him a smarmy grin over his shoulder.</p><p>"Is that an excuse to see me half naked? Won't your brother be jealous?"</p><p>Jaemin levels him with an unimpressed look and Donghyuck pouts exaggeratedly, pursing his lips.</p><p>"You're no fun," he sighs when Jaemin still isn't deterred. "Yeah, you can photograph me half naked, you perv."</p><p>He finishes their lunch soon after that. Contrary to the contents of Jeno's room, Donghyuck's comes with all of two chairs, so they're able to eat at what is sort of the kitchen table.</p><p>"Jeno looked appropriately messed up when I saw him in the morning, but you don't seem any different," Donghyuck says with poorly masked curiosity. "It's not exactly what I expected from him-"</p><p>Jaemin flips his - well, technically Jeno's - tee up again without a word. Donghyuck blinks a few times and then starts laughing. Jaemin focuses back on his plate, resigned.</p><p>"It's like he's teething, what the hell," Donghyuck wheezes out finally. "This is fucking great!"</p><p>"Finish your food before it gets cold," Jaemin tells him.</p><p>"What are you, my mother?" Donghyuck says, but grabs his spoon from where he dropped it on his plate.</p><p>Jaemin waits until he's done and tells him to get on the bed and lose the shirt. Donghyuck's skin looks astonishing against the white of the sheets, his stomach smooth and barely toned. The bruises make it all the more beautiful, and they continue with this impromptu photoshoot until the light gets shitty. </p><p>That's when Jaemin realizes the storm has started. The windows are closed, since air conditioning is running, but the first rumble of thunder, still far away for now, breaks through the glass. Rain hits a minute later, loud and angry and insistent.</p><p>"Ooh!" Donghyuck exclaims and runs to the windows, throwing his balcony door open until the curtains fly around violently, framing his still shirtless figure.</p><p>Jaemin's breath gets lost somewhere between his lungs and mouth, and he manages to snap a shot before Donghyuck turns around to look at him, vibrant and powerful, as if he could take control of the weather if he only wanted to. The smell of ozone makes Jaemin swallow greedy gulps of the air; the rain smacks the side of Donghyuck's face and his outstretched arms. They stay like that for a moment, motionless and yet so filled with life, and then Donghyuck shuts the door and smiles.</p><p>"The night's gonna be beautiful," he says it like it's a premonition, like he knows the future and is waiting for someone to ask about the end of the world, just so he could whisper in the most infuriating tone of voice that it's a secret.</p><p>Jaemin's not sleeping tonight.</p><p>•</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's strange how life insists on Jaemin seeing Jeno wet.</p><p>"What are you even doing here?" Jeno asks over the roar of the storm.</p><p>He's wearing raingear but the hood has fallen down, letting his hair soak through. They're the only life forms in the vicinity. The ornate roof reaching just a few feet beyond the entrance to the guesthouse is keeping Jaemin relatively safe from the rain, but the wind is taking his breath and carrying it between the trees with dizzying speed. His camera is pressed to his face in the anticipation of lightning. In the meantime, he takes a picture of Jeno's wildness that seems to be fueling the storm, boosting it to something free and terrifying.</p><p>Lightning strikes just as Jeno finally reaches the porch. Jaemin doesn't breathe. His fingers are numb and he wonders if he made it. Jeno's stunningly wet raincoat surrounds him and he's inside, the door kicked close. It's warmer here, even though Jeno's arms are still around him. The inside is only marginally calmer than the outside, the building shaking with the raging weather, but successfully muffling its sounds with thick walls.</p><p>"Are you an idiot?" Jeno asks, finally letting go of him. "You still have a week here, right? Do you wanna spend it in bed?"</p><p>It's so easy, Jaemin is slightly disappointed. He doesn't even have to make real effort. It's enough to smile sweetly and purr, "Gladly."</p><p>Jeno blinks at him and then his neck gets amazingly pink. The flush also reaches his ears.</p><p>"Then don't try to get sick, dumbass," he mutters.</p><p>Jaemin didn't expect him to go along with it. It makes something scaldingly warm drip to the pit of his stomach.</p><p>"I wanted to photograph lightning," he says, as something of a compensation, maybe.</p><p>He doesn't want Jeno to feel too uncomfortable.</p><p>"Oh?" Jeno perks up at that. "And? Did you?"</p><p>The hall is completely deserted, no sign of life anywhere; they're the last humans on the planet. Or maybe Jaemin is the very last. Maybe he's gone mad and Jeno only has a voice in Jaemin's head. </p><p>"I don't know yet," he says.</p><p>Jeno hums, unconcerned and pretty, dripping on the lobby's worn carpets.</p><p>"Dinner in my room?"</p><p>Jaemin narrows his eyes.</p><p>"Do I have to cook it?"</p><p>Jeno immediately clings to him to get his damn sparkly pleading eyes as close to his face as possible.</p><p>"Please, Jaemin-ah, your cooking is so good, I don't know how I'll ever survive without it," he whines. Jaemin doesn't tell him his clothes are almost soaked through at this point. "I'll even let you win a match!"</p><p>Jaemin shoots him a glare.</p><p>"Are you trying to humiliate me and get me to make you food at the same time? Huh, you punk? Two birds with one stone, is that it?"</p><p>Jeno's face twitches, but impressively enough, he stops himself from grinning.</p><p>"No, I was joking! I meant we can play for as long as you're satisfied!"</p><p>"Yeah, right," Jaemin mutters, by now basically dragging Jeno's whole weight with him in the direction of the staircase. He stops at the bottom of it, because he refuses to drag Jeno's whole weight three flights up. "Let's make another deal."</p><p>"We haven't finished the first one, though?" Jeno says.</p><p>As if Jaemin needs reminding he's in debt.</p><p>"Do you want food or not?"</p><p>"I want it," Jeno answer instantly, his face gravelly serious.</p><p>"I'll make you dinner, if you let me take pictures of you whenever I want until I leave here."</p><p>Jeno considers this and the flush on his neck crawls up to his ears and face again.</p><p>"Whenever, you mean-"</p><p>"Yes," Jaemin drawls very deliberately. "Any possible situation. Nine days, today included."</p><p>"For just one dinner?" Jeno asks with a focused frown.</p><p>Jaemin tries to wait him out and fails miserably.</p><p>"Two?" he suggests.</p><p>"Ten meals altogether," Jeno says firmly.</p><p>Jaemin grits his teeth.</p><p>"Four."</p><p>"Nine."</p><p>"Five?"</p><p>"Nine."</p><p>"Seven."</p><p>"What is this kink negotiation in the hallway? Is it about spanking? You can't even take nine, Jaemin?"</p><p>Jaemin shrieks and immediately tries to pretend he didn't. Jeno just groans tiredly. Jaemin turns to point an accusatory finger at Chenle.</p><p>"Why do you always just show up out of nowhere?! Are you actually a ghost? Are you? I knew this place was suspicious, with so many people working here being this pretty!"</p><p>Chenle raises an eyebrow at him and then unceremoniously starts picking his ear.</p><p>"I was just on my way to play in Jisung's room," he says with a shrug. "So was it about spanking or not?"</p><p>"Of course it wasn't anything about-" Jeno stops abruptly and then lowers his voice to a harsh whisper, even though there is no one around, "about kinks!"</p><p>Chenle lets out a drawn, disappointed sound.</p><p>"That's no fun. I don't wanna know what it was, then," he tells them, then places a heavy hand on Jaemin's shoulder. "And you, keep being weird, you disastrous creature."</p><p>Jaemin stares at him in mild shock. Jeno tries to cover up a snicker and Jaemin breaks out of his stupor to glare at him. They watch as Chenle climbs the stairs until he disappears on the first landing. Jeno turns back to Jaemin with a grin.</p><p>"So, nine?"</p><p>Jaemin sighs.</p><p>"I'm willing to go up to seven. That's my final offer."</p><p>Jeno tilts his head, oblivious to how much suffering it brings Jaemin, and reaches out his hand. Jaemin shakes it.</p><p>"Thank God, I thought you were gonna spit on it or something."</p><p>Jeno smirks at him, eyes glinting.</p><p>"Is that something you're into?"</p><p>"Stop before Chenle's sixth sense gets him back down here to make him ask about stuff other than spanking," Jaemin mutters.</p><p>Jeno's hand is awfully warm. He chuckles softly. They start climbing the stairs. Jaemin is shivering by the time they reach Jeno's room. Jeno takes one look at him and turns to his dresser, throwing a green hoodie at Jaemin's head. Jaemin takes off his damp, long sleeved shirt, does his best to ignore Jeno's hungry eyes sweeping down his front, and pulls on the fluffy piece of clothing he just got. He doesn't think he owns any green clothes, but it doesn't feel bad, and smells like Jeno.</p><p>"It suits you," Jeno says with a little smile and opens the bathroom door to dump his raingear into the shower.</p><p>"What do you wanna eat?" Jaemin asks to change the subject, because for some strange reason, he's feeling embarrassed.</p><p>"Fried rice!" Jeno answers enthusiastically.</p><p>Jaemin just sighs and gets to work. They eat on the floor, leaning back on Jeno's bed and watching the storm from their warm and safe standpoint of being inside some walls. When they're done, Jeno asks, "Can I see the pictures?"</p><p>Jaemin doesn't think he's capable of denying him anything ever, so he just passes him the camera and shows him what buttons to push. Jeno makes all kinds of appreciative sounds, especially at the lightning Jaemin managed to capture, and then says, "Is that Hyuck?"</p><p>Jaemin feels warmth on his face and wonders why.</p><p>"Yeah, we had a photoshoot before."</p><p>Jeno is suspiciously quiet for a beat, during which Jaemin sweats nervously, even though there is no real cause for it.</p><p>"The hickeys look pretty on him," Jeno says finally.</p><p>"Yeah, who knew Mark would leave them in such a place, right? I thought you're the only wild one," Jaemin laughs a little to lessen the sudden, weird tension.</p><p>"I'm not wild," Jeno mumbles.</p><p>He's pouting. Jaemin exhales in relief and pokes him in the arm.</p><p>"Yes you are. Did you forget what you did to my chest already? It was yesterday!"</p><p>Jeno's gaze snaps to it instantly, and Jaemin covers himself with an exaggerated squeal of protest, like he's an eighteenth century maiden. Jeno laughs with his whole body and the tension is gone. Jaemin isn't sure what it was in the first place, so he simply lets it go.</p><p>With the storm pressing in on them from the mountains, it gets dark faster than it should. Neither of them moves to switch on the light. Jeno's face is eerie in the occasional snap of a lightning.</p><p>"My butt hurts," Jeno complains finally.</p><p>It's the same excuse as yesterday, but he doesn't say anything else this time, only pushes himself to his feet to turn on the lamp standing on his beside stool. The room loses some of its chaos and roughness, gets so much warmer instead. Jeno glances down at Jaemin with eyes glinting weirdly.</p><p>"What are you still doing down there?" He smiles and his face looks just like it's always looked.</p><p>Jaemin groans tiredly, as he picks himself up.</p><p>"Are you seventy two or something?" Jeno giggles. Then he points to the bed with both hands and lowers his head. "Here, sir, why don't you rest for a moment?"</p><p>Jaemin swats at him, but he can't help laughing. It's so easy to laugh here, in this strange place that might not be the regular world he knows at all. He sits down on the bed, Jeno sits down next to him, and then they're kissing.</p><p>It's different to have this low, yellow light behind his back, and Jaemin enjoys catching glimpses of Jeno's skin glowing in it so beautifully. Jeno ends up on his back tonight, Jaemin easily straddling his thighs. Jeno's face is already flushed a little, lips shining with Jaemin's spit, as he stares up at Jaemin, pliant and warm, always so warm.</p><p>"You're pretty," Jaemin mutters. </p><p>His voice sounds strange already.</p><p>Jeno snorts and nudges him, but not forcefully enough to dislodge him from where he's hovering over Jeno's body.</p><p>"What, I'm serious," he says, grinning helplessly. "You're so pretty."</p><p>"Don't repeat something like that!" Jeno groans, hiding his face in his hands. "How can you even say that with a straight face in the first place?"</p><p>"Well, 'cause it's true," Jaemin shrugs, not making any effort to get Jeno to look at him. It's pretty funny, after all, he didn't expect this kind of a reaction. "Are you saying people don't tell you that daily?"</p><p>"Of course not!" Jeno chuckles incredulously, peeking at Jaemin through his fingers. "Who would tell a dude like me that kind of stuff?"</p><p>"Everyone should," Jaemin says bluntly. "You're not used to compliments at all, then?"</p><p>"I mean," Jeno mumbles. "Sometimes I'd hear I'm handsome or that I have a nice body. Not like a compliment though, more like, you know, people talking to each other when I'm there and not lowering their voices enough, so it's not like I've ever had to react."</p><p>"That's outrageous," Jaemin decides firmly. "I'll compliment you enough to make up for all those sad years of your life!"</p><p>Jeno snorts again and finally lowers his hands a little.</p><p>"Isn't that way too many compliments? You're so ridiculous, are you trying to kill me with embarrassment or something?"</p><p>"Why would I kill you?" Jaemin asks, puzzled. "Whomever would I have sex with then?"</p><p>Jeno's hands have migrated from his face to Jaemin's waist.</p><p>"I'm sure you'd find someone quickly enough."</p><p>Jaemin gasps audibly.</p><p>"Do you also think I'm a slut?!"</p><p>Jeno raises an eyebrow, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth, and says, "Well, it hasn't even been a week since we met."</p><p>Jaemin can't believe this slander.</p><p>"I'm on vacation, it's different! Besides, doesn't that make you as much of a slut as me?"</p><p>All of Jeno's teeth flash in his sudden grin, and then he's pulling Jaemin down into a kiss. It's not sensual at all, too much tongue and heavy air between them, but it makes Jaemin's blood whoosh in his ears.</p><p>"This time," Jeno breathes when they let an inch of space in between them, "can I touch you?"</p><p>Jaemin pauses. It's been a while since he let even a girl touch his dick, because the last time was kind of a disaster. Jeno is a boy, maybe even a man, and Jaemin has a bad feeling about this. <i>Yolo, my brother</i>, he hears suddenly in his head, undoubtedly said in Mark's voice. <i>Stay safe and all, but if you don't try, you're gonna regret it</i>. Jaemin shoos it away; the last thing he wants right now is to be thinking about Mark. Besides, Mark has never said something like that to him. It's just easier to imagine they're not Jaemin's thoughts. If you're not sure about your decisions, at least partially transfer the blame - that's what Jaemin's been taught by life, and that's what he's going to go with.</p><p>"Yeah, okay," he says into Jeno's mouth.</p><p>It's not a man, it's Jeno. Jeno is cool, and he doesn't have any reason to hurt Jaemin. Jaemin just has to remember that.</p><p>Jeno hums happily and gets them to lie down on their sides, front to front. The mattress creaks a little, but it's soft under Jaemin. Jeno's lips are softer. They make out until Jaemin's brain almost dribbles out his ears, useless. It's hot, but Jeno gets rid of everything Jaemin's wearing from the waist up in record speed, using Jaemin's blissed out state to grope his chest all he wants. Jaemin lets him easily, groping Jeno's biceps in turn. It's nice, warmth spreading through Jaemin's whole body, inside out. He feels safe and content.</p><p>"Min-ah," Jeno mutters after a while that could have very well lasted two hours. "Gonna touch you, yeah?"</p><p>Jaemin hums in acknowledgement, busy nibbling on Jeno's lips. Jeno palms him through his sweats and Jaemin realizes how hard he is, his attention snapping to it immediately. He can't believe he was able to ignore it for this long. Jeno exhales a small laugh and dives in to suck on Jaemin's neck. It feels good, Jeno's palm presses down on him with just enough force.</p><p>And then Jeno pulls down the sweats and gets that hand on him directly, and Jaemin falls back eleven years. </p><p>He tries to ignore it, at first. It's not that it feels bad or gross, and Jeno is clearly confident in his own prowess, doesn't hesitate like Jaemin's first girlfriend did. If he could somehow pause the thoughts spilling down his throat, it would probably feel really good.</p><p>"Jeno," Jaemin says finally. He can barely unhinge his jaw. "I need you to stop."</p><p>Jeno, bless him, not only stops, but also completely lets go of Jaemin, shifting enough to leave some space between them. Jaemin sits up and rolls to the side, placing his feet on the ground and putting his head between his knees.</p><p>"Jaemin?" Jeno asks. He doesn't sound confused, just concerned but firm. "Did I hurt you?"</p><p>Jaemin takes two deep breaths, in and out, in and out. At least he's not hyperventilating, just uncomfortable. His skin is covered in goosebumps, phantom hands sliding over it. Jaemin knows that everything that had happened to him was only half as bad as his imagination has made it out to be over the years. He wishes he wasn't so creative.</p><p>"No, it's not you," he manages.</p><p>His voice only shakes a little. Small victories.</p><p>Jeno is silent for a second or two, or a thousand, then says, quiet and calm, "Do you want to tell me?"</p><p>Jaemin takes another breath, in and out. He straightens and turns back around, folding his legs under himself. Jeno is still bathed in the unintrusive light of the small lamp, soft around the edges. Not exactly familiar, but not dangerous in any way, either. He looks more serious than Jaemin's ever seen him.</p><p>"It's not a very sexy story," Jaemin huffs out with a little mirthless laugh.</p><p>Jeno's eyes harden.</p><p>"I don't care," he says. "If you want to tell me, then I don't care it's not sexy."</p><p>Jaemin's breath shatters into a few irregular pieces on the way out of his lungs. He reaches out and Jeno immediately offers him his hand to hold. Jaemin's heart skips almost painfully.</p><p>"You probably already figured it out, but Mark isn't my real brother," he starts with. "His family ended up adopting me when I was seventeen. A lot of things happened, it doesn't really matter right now, just- it's important to know, because it's kinda about my mother, the biological one, not Mrs. Lee."</p><p>Jeno frowns a little and squeezes his hand, but doesn't say anything to that. Jaemin doesn't know, if he wanted him to, or if it's better like this.</p><p>"Right, um," he says, stupidly. </p><p>The hands reach up to his throat, clammy and rough, and Jaemin takes a minute to fight them off.</p><p>"Hey," Jeno murmurs, and when Jaemin looks at him now, his face is a lot softer. "You really don't have to tell me, if it's hard."</p><p>"No, it's fine." Jaemin shakes his head despite the breathing difficulty. "I want to."</p><p>Jeno nods once. His hand is so different than the ones in Jaemin's memories, warm and solid, but gentle. </p><p>"So my mother, she was - still probably is - a drug addict. I have no idea who my father was, never met the guy, I don't even know if he's alive. Anyway, my mother had had a lot of boyfriends during the time I lived with her, most of them were only useful to her because they knew how to get her cheap drugs." This is the easy part, he knows, but it still makes his stomach roll. He doesn't want to look at Jeno anymore, because he could see any number of things he wouldn't like, and the most probable is also the one he hates seeing the most. He might be pitiful, but it's one thing to be aware of it and another to know that that's what people think of him. He takes another breath, but it comes short. "And one of them-" he says, and pauses. "I uh, I was eleven, so it's been ages since then, and I know it wasn't as bad as I remember, 'cause my brain blew it out of proportion over the years, it's really not that big of a deal-"</p><p>"Jaemin," Jeno says calmingly. "Breathe."</p><p>Jaemin does just that for a while, trying to clear his head. Jeno doesn't let go of his hand even for a second, even when their palms start to feel sweaty. He also doesn't try to touch Jaemin in any other way, which Jaemin is grateful for.</p><p>"You good?" Jeno asks after a long minute.</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin mutters.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about something else?" Jeno suggests carefully.</p><p>Jaemin snaps his head up to look at him in surprise.</p><p>"But- I told you everything except for the one thing I was supposed to!" he says, puzzled.</p><p>Jeno shrugs.</p><p>"It's obviously not easy for you to talk about it. It's not like I'm gonna force you to."</p><p>"No, I- Mark is the only one I've talked to about this, I wanna tell you."</p><p>Jeno considers that.</p><p>"Then how about you just tell me what happened? Without justifying or sugarcoating anything, without thinking about it. Just facts."</p><p>Jaemin can do that, probably. He's gotten better at compartmentalizing things. </p><p>"One of my mother's boyfriends would touch me sometimes. Only when he was drunk, so not that often, since both of them preferred getting high. He never made me touch him, not even once, but he came on me a few times. I remember feeling like I'm doing something very wrong and thinking that I should never ever tell anyone, especially my mother."</p><p>It's all out at once, and Jaemin chokes on the air he tries to force back into his lungs. Jeno sits very still for a beat. Jaemin focuses on their joined hands instead of letting himself think.</p><p>"Get up," Jeno says suddenly. </p><p>He lets go and walks over to his dresser. Jaemin stares after him in shock.</p><p>"Wear this," Jeno instructs and throws a thermal underwear set at Jaemin's head.</p><p>"What? Why?" Jaemin asks, stupidly.</p><p>His heart is still a little wild and he feels completely off balance.</p><p>Jeno throws the hoodie he gave him earlier at his head next.</p><p>"Wear this, too, and I'll get us some snacks."</p><p>Jaemin accepts that he won't get a proper answer. He pulls all of the clothing on, while Jeno rummages in his kitchen cabinets and throws some things into a backpack. When he's done, he gives Jaemin a once over, then throws a windbreaker at his head.</p><p>"You could just pass it to me like a normal person, you know," Jaemin grumbles. </p><p>He's starting to sweat. Jeno pulls a beanie over his ears and nods grandly. </p><p>"That should do it," he decides, and quickly dresses himself in a similar outfit. "Come on, it's already pretty late and I have to get up early tomorrow. I hate getting up early."</p><p>"Oh yeah? You seemed awfully chipper this morning," Jaemin mutters, grumpy at being ignored. "At six a.m."</p><p>"Well," Jeno says and reaches out his hand, and Jaemin automatically grabs it. "It was pretty nice to have you there. Very warm."</p><p>"Are you a cat or something?"</p><p>Jeno locks his room without letting go of Jaemin and they start down the stairs.</p><p>"You really think that?!" Jeno asks excitedly. "Hyuck tells me I'm more of a dog, though."</p><p>"You're too hyper for a cat, I think," Jaemin hums, in a much better mood already, despite himself. Jeno's undivided attention does that to him. "Maybe somewhere between the two?"</p><p>"What is in between a cat and a dog?" Jeno asks.</p><p>"A fox? Probably?" Jaemin suggests. "But that doesn't really sound right, either. You're your own species."</p><p>"Does that mean I'm an alien?" Jeno huffs a laugh. "Renjun would like that."</p><p>"You very well might be," Jaemin says very seriously. "And you're deceiving everyone in order to do research about Earth and then get your little alien friends here to take over the planet."</p><p>"How do you know they'd be little?" Jeno says.</p><p>"That's what you have a problem with?" Jaemin snorts.</p><p>He forgets all about it the next second, because they're in the lobby and Jeno opens the entrance door. Jaemin has been too distracted with other things to wonder about the weather, and during the time they spent in Jeno's room, the storm has ended and the sky has cleared. The moon is visible over the mountain tops, a little short of being full. The darkness is littered with stars, millions of them, brightening the night just enough to be able to see the surrounding area without any artificial light. The air is chilly and clear, prickling inside Jaemin's lungs in the best way. He realizes how trapped he was feeling only now, when the sensation pops like a bubble stretched thin by the world pressing in on it from all sides.</p><p>"Let's go," Jeno says with a sense of finality that tells Jaemin there is no turning back anymore.</p><p>It should be scary, but it's liberating.</p><p>They don't talk for a long while. Jeno leads the way, a flashlight in one of his hands for the darker bits of the path. In the other, he has Jaemin. It feels like Jaemin doesn't even need to use his legs, because Jeno is carrying him, like a thought rather than a person. Despite what Jeno said about having to wake up early the next day, time is irrelevant. They don't count it in any way. They just walk. With every step and every drop of sweat rolling down the back of Jaemin's neck from exertion, more and more heavy thoughts fall as well. It's a freeing kind of exhaustion.</p><p>The way isn't always easy. They climb over rocky edges and thick tree roots, slip on the smooth surface of the path, wet after the whole day of rain.</p><p>"It's a good thing you wore those boots," Jeno says at some point.</p><p>"I was out to take pictures before you found me, I figured they'd be the best choice for the great outdoors," Jaemin explains.</p><p>They're both panting. Jeno makes them take a break to drink some water.</p><p>"We're almost there," he promises after zipping up his backpack.</p><p>Jaemin nods. He doesn't mind. He's grateful. He's many more things he can't name.</p><p>They walk some more and climb some more, and suddenly, the world opens like a dam was just broken. It whooshes around Jaemin's head, leaving him breathless. Jeno's grin is almost wider than the whole lot of nothing around them. Jaemin follows him out onto the Cloud Bridge without a second of hesitation. </p><p>The red of the railings was washed out by the night, dark like blood trickling down from your nose. Jaemin looks down. A measly layer of metal and concrete holds guard between him and whatever awaits down there, on the bottom of the abyss. The sky twinkles above his head, but all around him is white, leftover clouds or fog, he doesn't know. He can't breathe, but he realizes now that he has never really breathed ever before.</p><p>"Incredible, huh," Jeno says.</p><p>He sounds like he can't breathe as well. They're both in this together, equally important, equally insignificant.</p><p>Jaemin leans back on the railing to somehow center himself. Jeno leans back on the opposite side. He's flushed, eyes brighter than the multitude of suns around them.</p><p>"You said you can be yourself here, in the mountains, right?" he says. "Just you, just Jaemin."</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin whispers.</p><p>The wind is tugging on Jeno's black hair, harsh but not unsafe. Jaemin doesn't even know, if Jeno heard him.</p><p>"This place is even better," Jeno declares, smiling so wide, he could swallow everything in sight. "We're so far up that memories don't reach here, can you believe it? You're whoever you wanna be up here. You can do whatever you want."</p><p>Jaemin's heart is going to fly out through his throat. He takes another look at the vastness of nothing. They're hanging somewhere above the inevitable; stars twist around them, less than a memory, more than the reality they left behind.</p><p>"Oh, but you can't jump," Jeno adds suddenly, with a little laugh. "Your brother would have my head on a stick, if I let you jump. Other than that, do whatever you feel like doing."</p><p>Jaemin steps surely over the clouds separating them and kisses that exhilarating grin off of Jeno's mouth. He can't wrap his head around the fact that he had the chance to meet this creature.</p><p>Jaemin didn't jump, but he's falling.</p><p>•</p><p>"You're lucky," Renjun says.</p><p>It's just after nine, and Jaemin is trying not to fall asleep in his cereal bowl, or start daydreaming about the previous night again. Mark digs his elbow into Jaemin's side for the fourth time to keep him awake and places his long awaited coffee in front of him.</p><p>"Why?" Mark asks.</p><p>Jaemin already forgot what they were talking about, but he's too dead to care. He focuses his whole attention on the quadruple shot Americano before him.</p><p>"You'll be able to see the full moon from Mount Wolchul before you leave," Renjun says.</p><p>Jaemin can feel his judgmental stare like a physical weight, but refuses to participate in the conversation before he's stocked up on caffeine.</p><p>"Oh yeah!" Mark exclaims, entirely too enthusiastic for the time of day. "I didn't even check the moon phases before booking, but it's true! It's gonna be so great!"</p><p>Jaemin groans in an attempt at being supportive.</p><p>"By the way, why did you drag this corpse here?" Renjun asks in a polite tone of voice.</p><p>"He'd be worse, if I brought him food he didn't like, trust me," Mark sighs, poking Jaemin's head a little.</p><p>"Is he five? Didn't his mom teach him it's not good to be picky?"</p><p>Jaemin is suddenly awake. He spends the next ten seconds fighting with the abrupt punch dealt to his stomach by a mix of emotions.</p><p>"Did I say something wrong?" Renjun asks carefully. "If I did, then I'm-"</p><p>"She didn't," Jaemin says, surprising himself a little. He raises his head to look at Renjun's puzzled face. "Apparently, she had more important stuff to do than teach me about life."</p><p>"Nana," Mark says quietly.</p><p>It's been a long time since he called Jaemin that. Jaemin sighs, exhaling all of those messed up emotions. What's left is mostly tiredness.</p><p>"Sorry, forget it," he mumbles. "I didn't mean to be a dick."</p><p>Renjun considers him for a second.</p><p>"I don't mind," he says finally. "I appreciate a bit of sarcasm, even when it's directed at me." He stands up and grabs his empty tray, pausing to run his hand through Jaemin's hair. It's unexpected, but not unwelcome. "And you should be a dick, if someone's being an asshole. Still, it's not good to be picky."</p><p>Jaemin snorts and grins up at Renjun before the boy leaves their table. Mark sags next to him.</p><p>"You okay?" </p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin finishes his coffee and grabs the spoon to go back to his cereal. "It's dumb to be so sensitive about every little thing anyway. I'm just exhausted and couldn't help it."</p><p>"Maybe you should go back to sleep after breakfast?" Mark suggests, because he's made of every good and kind material available in the world. "It's not like you have things to do, we're on vacation."</p><p>"Yeah, a nap would be great," Jaemin agrees immediately.</p><p>Mark huffs a laugh and jabs him with his elbow again, just because he can.</p><p>•</p><p>When Jaemin wakes up, it's somewhere in the afternoon, and he has an armful of Jeno. The first few seconds are disorienting at best. Jaemin is pretty sure he took the nap in his own room, which was decidedly lacking a Jeno at the time. Not that he's complaining; he had left the air conditioning on and Mark wasn't there to correct his mistakes like he usually is, so the added warmth of Jeno's body is more than appreciated. Jaemin decides he doesn't care where Jeno came from. He doesn't go back to sleep, but it feels comfortable, so he's okay with lying there idly, playing with Jeno's hair and listening to his quiet breathing.</p><p>The sun is high and the birds can be heard even through closed windows. The air seems heavy but soft, like a woolen blanket. It's peaceful. The reality drags on, thick and lazy like molasses. Jaemin thinks about last night and the cooling sweat on his back, about Jeno's smile and the edge of the Earth they stood on like they owned it. It was exhilarating, as if they'd be able to do everything, if they only wanted. It was different than it is now, but Jaemin loves this just as much.</p><p>"You awake?" Jeno mumbles after a while, words still half glued to one another.</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin croaks.</p><p>He's hungry. He also kind of wants Jeno to try touching him again.</p><p>"Food?" Jeno says. </p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin repeats. "Kinda don't wanna move, though."</p><p>"You're hopeless," Jeno tells him, snuggling closer.</p><p>"I don't wanna hear that from you, lazy bastard," Jaemin grumbles.</p><p>"I had to get up at six today," Jeno muffles into the skin of his neck, his breath hitting it along with the words, and Jaemin suddenly feels too hot. "And thanks to <i>someone</i> I only had three hours of sleep."</p><p>"You were the one who told me I can do whatever I want," Jaemin reminds him, already distracted, Jeno's body serving him prickles down his spine rather than sleepy warmth at this point.</p><p>"I thought you'd like, scream or run around a little or whatever, not kiss me senseless and then proceed to share your whole life story with me on that damn bridge," Jeno huffs, his voice vibrating in Jaemin's chest.</p><p>"Not my fault you went ahead and assumed," Jaemin says.</p><p>His tee is starting to cling to his back with sweat, and Jeno's lips are tickling where they brush over his skin every other second.</p><p>"Jaemin?" Jeno asks, a little more awake already. "You sound weird, what's-" he pauses after raising his head and taking a look at Jaemin's face.</p><p>"Okay, just so you know, this is absolutely not my fault, it's because my own stupid fucking brain killed my boner last night, and you're really close-" Jaemin says in one breath, but then Jeno giggles absolutely obnoxiously, cutting him off. Jaemin can't believe this disrespect. "What the hell is so funny, you damn-" he's cut off again, this time by Jeno's hand cupping him through his underwear.</p><p>"Holy shit, I just breathed on you a little and you're halfway there," Jeno says with an annoying grin.</p><p>"Shut up," Jaemin mutters. "Leave me alone."</p><p>But he doesn't do anything to stop Jeno from the groping he's currently performing.</p><p>"Hey," Jeno says, back in Jaemin's neck, kissing and licking to his heart's content.</p><p>"What," Jaemin manages, but it comes out breathy.</p><p>"How far have you gone with a girl?" Jeno asks, casual like a heart attack.</p><p>Jaemin gasps a little at a particularly well aimed nip of teeth.</p><p>"All the way," he shares.</p><p>They didn't talk about the details of Jaemin's sex life last night, and now Jaemin kind of wishes they had. He'd rather focus on the sensations than on a conversation.</p><p>"Yeah?" Jeno presses down on him with the heel of his palm. For never having done this before Jaemin came along, he's awfully good at figuring out weak spots and the best ways to touch. "So you know how it feels to be inside someone."</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin admits, barely keeping ahold of the conversation.</p><p>"What else?" Jeno asks.</p><p>"What?" Jaemin groans, unfocused.</p><p>Two of Jeno's long fingers slide down, over his perineum, and Jaemin doesn't understand why he has never touched himself there.</p><p>"What else have you done?" Jeno repeats, but his voice has dropped already, and his breathing isn't calm at all.</p><p>"Oh, um, oral?" Jaemin tries, his brain probably dripping down from his ears.</p><p>"You or them or both ways?" Jeno continues.</p><p>Jaemin interrupts himself with a moan and has to say again, "Me."</p><p>Jeno hums and keeps quiet for a second. Jaemin wants to ask, but forgets about it immediately. It just feels too good to be in Jeno's hands.</p><p>"I have an idea," Jeno says finally.</p><p>"Okay," Jaemin agrees absently.</p><p>He blinks in confusion when Jeno's hands stop moving. Jeno sits up and throws the covers to the side. He's flushed a little, sweat sliding down his temple despite the air conditioning still running. He's shirtless, which Jaemin already kind of knew from them having been so close, but somehow, it's different to see it.</p><p>"I'm gonna try sucking you off," Jeno declares.</p><p>Jaemin stares at him, uncomprehending.</p><p>"You what?" he asks wisely.</p><p>Jeno rolls his eyes, but he's smiling a little, probably because Jaemin's face must look spectacularly stupid.</p><p>"You've never tried that, right? So it might be okay. You know, if I touch you with my mouth and not my hand," Jeno says like he's talking about the weather.</p><p>Jaemin's brain wouldn't be able to take this, so it's a good thing that it's gone. Jaemin imagines the wet heat of Jeno's mouth anywhere near his dick and is pretty sure he blacks out there for a second.</p><p>"Tell me, if you want me to stop, yeah?" Jeno says.</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin blurts out, "okay."</p><p>Jeno laughs softly and nudges Jaemin's legs apart to fit between them, stretching to press their mouths together. Jaemin realizes that for the whole time Jeno has been groping him, they haven't kissed even once. It's not like kissing is a necessary part of getting each other off, but Jaemin likes it. There is something about the sensation of it that improves his general mood, and the way Jeno kisses him is on another level entirely. It's almost like they've been doing this for years, the easy familiarity and trust glowing in Jaemin's chest. It has always felt a little awkward to get intimate with someone, Jaemin always kept his reactions in check to make sure his partner didn't think of him as weird. There is none of that with Jeno. Even before Jaemin told him his tragic backstory, he didn't feel the need to be so mindful of what he was doing. It's wonderfully easy.</p><p>"Off," Jeno huffs between kisses, tugging on Jaemin's tee impatiently.</p><p>"Fine, but if you destroy my chest like last time, I will seriously-" Jaemin's words end in a gasp, because Jeno picks that moment to get back to groping.</p><p>With joined effort, they remove Jaemin's shirt, and Jeno looks so goddamn happy with unobstructed access to Jaemin's pecs, that Jaemin just lets him do whatever he wants. He momentarily forgets about what Jeno suggested, his whole focus on Jeno's mouth on his nipples, but then Jeno moves lower, leaving a trail of kisses down his abdomen, and Jaemin is reminded with the delicacy of a punch to the teeth.</p><p>Jeno doesn't waste time saying something, he just shifts around until he's comfortable and then pulls Jaemin's underwear down his legs and off. Jaemin is naked and hard, and he congratulates himself turning that air conditioning on, because his whole body is thrumming with heat. Jeno hums thoughtfully, not really doing anything for a second. It must be strange to have a dick so close to your face, Jaemin guesses. Jeno seems to get used to it in no time, because the next second, Jaemin can feel Jeno's tongue on him, not really shy, but not completely confident either. Curious, mostly. Jaemin whines. Jeno wraps his lips around the head and sucks experimentally. Jaemin fists the sheets in the desperate need to hold onto something. Jeno pulls off and Jaemin lets his head fall back to the pillow.</p><p>"And?" he slurs, barely coherent after just two seconds. He wants Jeno to do that again. "How is it?"</p><p>"Weird," Jeno says. His fingers are leaving dimples in Jaemin's thighs. "You?"</p><p>"Weird," Jaemin agrees.</p><p>"Bad weird or good weird?" Jeno asks, his breathing hot and damp on Jaemin's cock that is still right in his face.</p><p>"Good," Jaemin sighs.</p><p>Jeno nods in understanding and grins a little, but gets back to what he was doing soon. Jaemin isn't really sure what to do with himself, it doesn't feel like anything he's experienced so far. Sure, he's had sex with girls, but it was mostly him doing stuff. There is, of course, the added factor of Jeno's tongue, which is the most evil thing Jaemin's ever encountered. </p><p>Jeno grows comfortable almost too fast, licking and prodding and slurping, and Jaemin can do little more than hold on for dear life. One of Jeno's hands slides down to his balls and then the perineum again, and that's when Jeno decides to finally swallow Jaemin down. Jaemin lets out a string of curses intertwined with Jeno's name, and Jeno looks up at him, eyes dark through his lashes, mouth stretched around his cock, completely shameless. Jaemin cannot deal with this. He throws his head back violently, squeezing his eyes at the onslaught of sensation Jeno is serving him.</p><p>"Jen," he starts, once Jeno, apparently encouraged, starts bobbing his head, his tongue digging into the slit on the way down. "Shit fucking <i>hell Jesus</i>, this isn't-" his breath hitches, when Jeno's other hand curls around the base of his cock, where his mouth doesn't reach, "isn't gonna last long, I'm- fuck, do that again!"</p><p>Jeno dutifully repeats the motion of digging his tongue into the slit on the way down and then sucking harshly on the way up. Jaemin can't really tell where is up and where is down anymore, so he guesses it's good that Jeno can. And then Jeno accidentally takes too much and gags when Jaemin hits the back of his throat, and heat swoops down to the pit of Jaemin's stomach all at once.</p><p>"Pull off!" he chokes out.</p><p>Jeno does, but his hand doesn't stop jerking him off for a second, and then Jaemin's cumming. Jeno works him through it, giggling breathlessly at the expletives falling from Jaemin's mouth. When Jaemin opens his eyes, dopey from his orgasm, Jeno is flushed and his eyes are glinting, and he looks like he should claim a spot on the list of world's greatest wonders.</p><p>"C'mere," Jaemin purrs, stretching his arms out. He knows he's grinning like a loon, but he couldn't care less right now.</p><p>Jeno grins.</p><p>"Dude, I just had your dick in my mouth," he says, but even that doesn't ruin Jaemin's bliss.</p><p>"Oh yeah," he acknowledges. "Cuddles, then? I'll get you off."</p><p>Jeno falls down on top of him without any more prompting, making Jaemin let out an <i>oof</i>. Jaemin holds him close and sighs in content. He doesn't mind Jeno's weight, even if it did surprise him. Jeno is having the time of his life sucking bruises into Jaemin's collarbones and touching his chest wherever he can reach. They're both sticky with Jaemin's cum now, but they can take care of that later. Jeno wipes his hand on the sheets and leans up on his elbows.</p><p>"I have another idea," he says excitedly.</p><p>"You have a lot of stuff you wanna try, don't you," Jaemin guesses.</p><p>"Well, I mean, yeah," Jeno admits easily.</p><p>"Okay, what's the idea for now?" Jaemin asks.</p><p>Jeno gathers himself up to settle back on his haunches. He grabs Jaemin's legs and squishes his thighs together, then looks at Jaemin with the gaze of the purest puppy on the planet and says, "Can I fuck your thighs?"</p><p>Jaemin hisses out another curse. He did not expect this boy to be so bolt. Now that he thinks about it, they haven't talked about kinks yet, but Jeno must have a lot he wants to test out. Jaemin is more or less sure of his own, but definitely not against experimentation.</p><p>"Just don't touch my dick too much, okay? I tried that whole overstimulation thing and it's a no-no."</p><p>"Got it," Jeno says.</p><p>His abs are glistening with Jaemin's cum, and it's somehow an appealing image, even though Jaemin knows how gross it feels. And that's his own cum he has to deal with, too, so it must be even worse for Jeno. Jeno doesn't seem to mind, he just holds Jaemin's legs up and slips his cock in between them with a low groan. It feels even weirder than getting blown, Jaemin thinks. It's not like they even need lube, Jeno is wet and pulsing with heat, and Jaemin tenses to give him more pressure. Jeno gasps, his pace stutters a little, but then he gets over it and starts snapping his hips, their skin slapping against one another obscenely. Jaemin is fascinated.</p><p>Jeno's brows are drawn slightly, his eyes intense as they focus on Jaemin's face, his jaw sharp and lips swollen red. Jaemin watches Jeno's muscles shift with every movement, his chest that's heaving with ragged breaths, sweat rolling down his neck. He's beautiful.</p><p>Jaemin moves his hand to gather his own damp hair up from his forehead, licks over his chapped lips.</p><p>"Shit," Jeno mutters, staring at him like all he can think about is devouring him whole, meat and bones and soul.</p><p>Jaemin smiles, slow and provocative.</p><p>"You're doing so well, kitten," he murmurs on a whim, "so strong and pretty. Is it good? Wanna come for me, hm?"</p><p>Jeno's eyes widen, his hips stutter again, and then he stills, body taut like a bow, as the climax hits him. Jaemin looks and looks, in absolute awe, and can't believe no one has ever seen this boy like this before him. Jeno trembles slightly as he calms his breathing, leaning on Jaemin's bent legs heavily. He straightens finally, shooting Jaemin a wide-eyed look.</p><p>"What the hell," he says, voice raspy. "What the hell! That was so hot!"</p><p>Jaemin laughs in delight. He's covered in cum now, but there is a bubble of something wonderful expanding his chest, and he could explode or fly away and he'd be more than okay with either. Jeno is grinning, his eyes like moons, but shining with their own light. He smooths his fingers through the mess on Jaemin's stomach and Jaemin shivers.</p><p>"Come on, let's get into the shower," Jeno tells him.</p><p>"Get me tissues first, I refuse to let it move around once I get up," Jaemin protests, staring with disgust at all the cum.</p><p>Jeno looks around the room, opens Jaemin's backpack at being instructed to, even check Mark's. Then, he turns back to Jaemin with a shit eating grin.</p><p>"You're all out," he says with a shrug.</p><p>Jaemin glares at him. Jeno laughs, unconcerned.</p><p>"Don't be grumpy!"</p><p>He sits back on the bed. Jaemin can't believe he used up all of the tissues. There must be some, in Mark's stuff maybe, or some pockets. He wants to tell Jeno to check more thoroughly, but then Jeno leans down and licks a stripe up Jaemin's gross stomach without preamble. Jaemin chokes on his spit. Jeno sits up and grimaces.</p><p>"Yeah, definitely not gonna do that again," he decides.</p><p>Jaemin stares at him unblinkingly. Jeno laughs again, then grabs the sheets and wipes Jaemin mostly clean.</p><p>"I already dirtied them earlier anyway," he justifies, when Jaemin gasps in outrage. "I'll get you a new set, don't worry. Now can we shower?"</p><p>Jaemin nods stupidly. Jeno is just so- he doesn't even have a word for it. Unpredictable? Weird? Different. He's different than anyone Jaemin's ever met, and Jaemin has met a lot of people, out of whom a lot belonged to one type or another. Jeno doesn't match any category. Or maybe he does, but it takes more than a week to see it. Jaemin wants to see <i>everything</i>.</p><p>•</p><p>They make their way down in time for dinner. Mark is there, sitting with Donghyuck and Jisung, bickering like they've known each other for ages. Something in Jaemin's ribcage glows with warmth. It changes quickly, because once he and Jeno get noticed, a round of merciless teasing begins.</p><p>"So did you try that spanking?" Jisung asks curiously.</p><p>Jaemin lets out an indignant squawk.</p><p>"Don't be so shocked," Jeno sighs tiredly. "What Chenle knows, Jisung knows, too."</p><p>Jisung shoots Jaemin a smug victory sign.</p><p>"Spanking?" Donghyuck picks up immediately, a nasty smirk stretching his mouth. "And here I thought we had something, when you asked to take my naked pictures."</p><p>"What?!" Mark chokes on the bite of food he just took, and Donghyuck slaps his back without a single glance in his direction.</p><p>"Half naked," Jeno corrects.</p><p>His face falls as soon as Donghyuck's sharp eyes focus on him.</p><p>"So he showed you, huh. And here I thought I could have a little fun with your possessiveness."</p><p>Jeno presses his lips together, his whole face red immediately. Jaemin looks at him, intrigued.</p><p>"So did you fuck?" Jisung asks in a bored tone of voice and Jaemin gapes at him, scandalized. "What, I'm twenty. Who topped?"</p><p>Mark is still coughing violently.</p><p>"I don't think they have enough guts to properly fuck right away."</p><p>The whole table looks up at Renjun, whose eyes are glinting with amusement despite the indifference on his face.</p><p>"It's not a matter of guts!" Jaemin bristles. "Besides, all kinds of sex are "proper", not just penetrative sex! You shouldn't ridicule someone for doing other stuff-"</p><p>"Nana," Mark wheezes out finally.</p><p>Jaemin snaps his mouth shut.</p><p>"No!" Donghyuck whines. "Why did you have to interrupt him? I wanted to hear that rant to the end!"</p><p>Mark narrows his eyes at him. Jaemin is busy being in disbelief that he let himself get provoked so easily. Renjun is snickering quietly into his hand.</p><p>"You feel really strongly about sex, huh," he manages.</p><p>Jaemin sulks.</p><p>"I'm gonna go get food," he announces.</p><p>"Yeah, food," Jeno agrees, standing up so abruptly, he almost sends his chair flying.</p><p>They go through the process in silence, and when Jaemin turns to head back to their cursed table, Jeno stops him, quietly calling his name.</p><p>"I wanna ask you something," Jeno says, his smile open and sparkly.</p><p>"Yeah?" Jaemin stops in his tracks to give him full attention, melting a little at that pretty expression.</p><p>"Would you wanna take Mark and go see the full moon rise with me?" Jeno asks earnestly.</p><p>Jaemin swoons on the spot.</p><p>"Yes, Lee Jeno, I'd love that."</p><p>Jeno beams at him.</p><p>"Don't talk about me like I'm Jaemin's kid that he has to take with him everywhere," Mark scoffs, appearing next to them, on his way to put his empty tray back.</p><p>"Oh, I wanted to ask you, too!" Jeno tells him with the brightest smile.</p><p>Mark squints a little (Jaemin can relate) and caves in right away (Jaemin can relate a lot).</p><p>"Yeah, okay." He offers Jeno one of his own grins. "I'll happily thirdwheel."</p><p>"I don't think you'll have to," Jeno says. "There is no way Donghyuck and Chenle don't find out, which means Renjun and Jisung will know, too. And they're probably all gonna want to come, and I won't be able to stop them even if I wanted to."</p><p>"You sure that relationship of yours is healthy?" Mark asks, but he looks a little relieved.</p><p>Jeno shrugs.</p><p>"Maybe. But I wouldn't have it any other way."</p><p>•</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They have a day until full moon, and Jaemin spends it in halves - one half with Mark on a walk, during which they talk about everything except for anything that could be important. Lazy and unrushed, peaceful. The other half he uses on hanging out with Jeno on his balcony, eating watermelon, playing word games and making out until their lips are tingly, afternoon sun dripping down on them mercilessly, until they're too sluggish to do anything other than lie there and take it. After dinner, which Jaemin dutifully prepares as the second meal out of the seven he promised, and after taking a few pictures of summer sliding along Jeno's skin and teeth, they go down to the gift shop that is being closed by Donghyuck and Jisung.</p><p>"I can't believe you only had to work until lunch," grumbles Renjun, who is standing next to the entrance with arms crossed over his chest and cargo pants on his hips.</p><p>"What can I say, I'm just so good at my job, I can do it all like this," Jeno snaps his fingers.</p><p>Renjun has him in a headlock in the blink of an eye and Jaemin grins.</p><p>"If you don't intend to help, you could at least not be a nuisance," Jisung mutters begrudgingly at all of them, placing the broom he's been sweeping with against the wall.</p><p>"Where is that damn Chinese slacker anyway?" Donghyuck calls out from his place behind the counter, closing up the register. "He was supposed to be here."</p><p>Jaemin doesn't tell him Mark texted a while ago to let him know he's going to hang out with Chenle in the evening.</p><p>"It will do you two good to close up alone once in a while."</p><p>Jaemin turns over his shoulder at the new voice. The man looks like an older version of Jisung. He's tall, too.</p><p>"Come on, dad, it's not like you pay me for doing all this work," Jisung whines.</p><p>"You get allowance," Jisung's dad tells him with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>"Seriously?" Jisung raises an identical eyebrow.</p><p>It's kind of surreal.</p><p>"Leave him alone, honey, it's that age, you know."</p><p>A woman walks up to them, and she looks like Jisung, too, especially around the mouth.</p><p>"I'm twenty," Jisung deadpans.</p><p>The woman Jaemin assumes to be his mother ignores him completely, looking at Jaemin in interest.</p><p>"Pink hair," she mumbles to herself, then asks Jaemin, "Are you the boy who always tells my son to eat more?"</p><p>Jaemin can feel his face heat up.</p><p>"Ah, kind of, yeah, I'm sorry," he says with a sheepish grin.</p><p>"He nags a lot, that's just who he is, auntie," Donghyuck says, appearing out of nowhere to throw his arm around Jaemin's shoulders.</p><p>Jaemin relaxes minutely.</p><p>"Oh, don't worry about it, Sungie is on the skinny side," Jisung's mother laughs easily.</p><p>Jisung glares at her.</p><p>"You seem to know this boy well, Donghyuck-ah," Jisung's father says. " A friend?"</p><p>"Yeah," Donghyuck admits easily.</p><p>"Oh really?" Jisung's mother perks up. "How long have you known each other?"</p><p>Jaemin and Donghyuck exchange a look.</p><p>"A week," they answer in unison.</p><p>Jisung's parents exchange a look as well, but don't comment on it.</p><p>"It's nice to meet you," Jisung's mother says. "Jaemin-ssi, right?"</p><p>"Oh, uh, just Jaemin, ma'am," Jaemin corrects, smiling at her widely.</p><p>She giggles and Jisung rolls his eyes in the background.</p><p>"By the way, Donghyuck-ah," Jisung's father says, clearing his throat a little. "You're free to do whatever you want with whomever you want, but showing up at work looking like that doesn't seem very professional."</p><p>Donghyuck throws him an innocent look that tricks no one.</p><p>"Whatever do you mean, uncle?" he asks with a sweet smile.</p><p>Jisung's father narrows his eyes, but he seems a bit embarrassed having to point at his own neck to indicate he means the hickeys littering Donghyuck's throat.</p><p>"Besides, I don't even want to imagine what your mother would think seeing you like this," he adds with a deep sigh.</p><p>"She knows what I do with boys, don't worry," Donghyuck's smile stretches into a wolfish grin. "And she does stuff with boys, too, so it's all fine."</p><p>"Jesus," Jisung's father mutters under his breath. "Okay, just close up, and I'm gonna leave before y'all give me trauma."</p><p>"Oh, don't be such a prude," Jisung's mother tuts. She turns back to Jaemin and says, "You can call me noona, if you want."</p><p>"Mom!" Jisung gasps.</p><p>"Don't you think that's a bit much, auntie?" Jeno asks carefully.</p><p>He's stayed at Renjun's side, and now the two of them are watching the scene with amusement.</p><p>"As you wish, noona," Jaemin says readily.</p><p>"Just go before you embarrass yourselves even more," Jisung groans.</p><p>"Noona, really?" Jisung's father says incredulously. "Should I be jealous or something? Are you switching over to boys?"</p><p>"You're kinda an overgrown boy, too, though," Jisung's mother tells him.</p><p>Jisung's father looks scandalized. She grabs his arm and pulls him along, waving cheerfully at Jaemin. Jaemin waves back.</p><p>"Your parents are fun," he tells Jisung.</p><p>Jisung gives him the stink eye and doesn't answer.</p><p>"She never asked any of us to call her noona," Donghyuck notes with a shit eating grin. "Look at you, popular with boys and older women, huh, I'm envious."</p><p>"You're all gross," Jisung says, getting back to sweeping the floor. </p><p>"Maybe I should be jealous, too?" Jeno muses, his eyes dancing with mirth.</p><p>Renjun throws him a pitiful glance.</p><p>"You're already jealous of me, don't bite more than you can chew," Donghyuck huffs.</p><p>But Jaemin thinks Jeno could probably chew up the world, if he wanted.</p><p>•</p><p>The next day, Jeno calls his birds, and Jaemin sits in the shade and watches all three of the beasts move. It's like a dance, a ritual of shifting power and unspoken trust.</p><p>"Yo, dude, that's freaking incredible," says Mark, sitting next to Jaemin with a hand held over his eyes in order to see better.</p><p>"I <i>know</i>," Jaemin agrees with feeling.</p><p>Jeno radiates joy. He spends a while on having the birds do tricks, and then tells Jaemin and Mark to walk over to the shed and grab a glove each. Jaemin's blood is like mountain stream, clear and rapid. They have to control each other's level of excitement in order to keep the whole thing relatively safe. Jeno first gestures at Mark to get closer, Winter perched on his arm, her feathers shining in the morning sunlight. Jeno holds her head to his chest to prevent an accident, and Mark smooths his gloved hand over her curved back, all the way to her tail. He looks mesmerized. Jaemin can barely contain himself.</p><p>Mark spends a minute carefully petting Winter, and then goes back to their previous spot under the trees. When Jeno looks at Jaemin, all his teeth show in his grin, and the glint in his eyes shoots a foreign thrill down Jaemin's spine. If he steps closer, he might get eaten.</p><p>Winter is calm, unbothered by so many hands on her. Jeno makes hushed noises at her, keeping her still. Holding his breath, Jaemin runs his fingers over the beautiful feathers. They're impossibly silky, the little body underneath them thrumming with life. Jeno is holding the wilderness in his arms and he just let Jaemin touch it. It feels groundbreaking.</p><p>"Okay, I think that's enough," Jeno says gently. "I don't want her to get impatient."</p><p>Jaemin obediently steps back, exhaling. He wasn't eaten, after all.</p><p>Jeno whistles at the birds to let them know it's okay to leave, makes a trip to the shed and back, and says to Jaemin, "Oh yeah, I told everyone you'd make us an early lunch, since we wanna be on the peak already when the moon rises."</p><p>Jaemin looks at him in disbelief, while Mark ends up rolling in the grass from the force of his giggles. Jaemin throws a stick at him, but it proves ineffective. Jeno attacks Jaemin with the strongest puppy eyes he can manage, and that, unfortunately, proves a hundred percent effective.</p><p>"Fine," Jaemin grumbles. "But that counts as two meals. You know, concerning our deal."</p><p>"What?" Jeno whines immediately. "No, come on! I'll let you take as many pictures as you want or, I don't know, do to me whatever you want, just don't reduce my Nana meals, there was only seven to begin with!"</p><p>He doesn't seem to notice, but Jaemin does. And to be called Nana by someone other than Mark for the first time in years makes his heart trip over itself. He has no idea why it startles him so much. It's not a bad feeling, though, just a <i>big</i> feeling, covering his whole chest and making it hard to breathe.</p><p>"Okay," he chokes out, clears his throat and repeats, "Okay. I'll think of something."</p><p>"Jaemin-ah?" Jeno asks, confused. "You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah." Jaemin smiles. It's one of those smiles he doesn't show many people, a small and painfully genuine one. "I'm more than okay."</p><p>Jeno frowns slightly, unconvinced, but lets it go. Jaemin turns around to head back to the guesthouse and has to only exchange one look with Mark to know he's exposed. Mark is beaming, so full and bright, it seems he's going to burst any second. When Jaemin rolls his eyes and passes by him, Mark laughs and claps Jeno's back in something Jeno doesn't understand but Jaemin knows is acknowledgement and gratitude. Well, it's not the first time Jaemin has depended on Mark to decide what's right and wrong for him. Jeno getting fully approved by Mark is something Jaemin has been waiting for.</p><p>They meet the rest in the lobby and send Jisung and Chenle to break into the kitchen for supplies, since they're the most adorable and can probably win over the staff's hearts effortlessly. The rest begins the trip upstairs to Renjun's room, since it has the most kitchen space and is on the second floor, not the third like Jeno's. It's loud and carefree, and Jaemin finds he enjoys the atmosphere, even though Donghyuck and Renjun spend most of the time bickering and pull him right into it, immediately ganging up on him. Jeno and Mark are talking about animals or movies or something cute and harmless like that and don't try to rescue him at all. The youngest two join them rather quickly, both carrying mountains of food, and Jaemin takes one look at them to lose all will to live.</p><p>"You want me to use all of that?!" he exclaims incredulously. "We won't be out of here till tomorrow!"</p><p>"Then use just enough to make us full," Chenle says with a grin.</p><p>Jaemin sighs. Considering they're seven fully grown guys, he's totally going to have to use all of that.</p><p>"Okay, who here knows how to cook?" he asks.</p><p>Absolutely no one raises their hand.</p><p>"Do you want to see that moon or not?!" Jaemin yells in frustration.</p><p>Chenle and Renjun sigh and raise their hands.</p><p>"Great, let's get to it," Jaemin tells them.</p><p>Unexpectedly, it's fun. Mark is a safety hazard when let into the kitchen, so Jaemin has cooked for the two of them on his own these past few months, but it's so much different to have someone who knows what they're doing helping him prepare the meal. It goes a lot faster, too. There is a lot of teasing, random comments and yelling over each other, and it feels like those songs about first love, nostalgic, bittersweet. <i>Enjoy it while it lasts</i>, Jaemin thinks to himself. <i>When it ends, it ends</i>. Mark is holding Donghyuck's hand, while arguing with Chenle about basketball. Their eyes meet, and Mark pauses in the middle of a rant, shaking his head at Jaemin slightly. <i>Don't do this to yourself. We're supposed to be happy now, remember?</i> Jaemin nods and grins, and doesn't think about the time that's escaping through the gaps in his fingers like water.</p><p>•</p><p>They cross over the Cloud Bridge with the accompaniment of Chenle's delighted shrieks and Jisung's startled exclamations. The youngest isn't fond of heights, apparently. There are a lot of tourists around them with the same destination in mind. They reach the peak, when the sun is still quite high and they settle in a semi circle on the ground, sharing snacks, talking and playing games, until the sun lowers mercifully. It has a few feet left before it disappears completely, when Jisung points in almost the opposite direction and says, "Look!"</p><p>The moon is slowly climbing from behind the mountains, still pale in the residual light, but already intimidating. No one says anything anymore; they all wait and watch. The sun darkens the closer to the horizon it gets, until it's of the most saturated red Jaemin has ever seen. The sky around it is covered a little by paper thin clouds, and altogether, that side of it creates a breathtaking painting of oranges and purples and blues. It's fortunate the moon isn't right opposite, but close enough to fit into sight, its own side of the sky dipping into indigo already. Below that, there are mountains, ragged and overwhelming in their rolling darkness.</p><p>His hand is squeezed, and Jaemin realizes he stopped breathing at some point. He turns his head and runs straight into Jeno's eyes, almost as deep as the woods below them. Jeno doesn't say anything, but he smiles, and Jaemin is suddenly filled to the brim with the kind of energy that makes him want to do multiple things at once. Jumping from this peak head first and tugging on Jeno's hand to pull him into a run and then into bed are the two urges he can identify. The rest fights inside him, tearing at his insides to get free, while Jaemin himself struggles to stay in place. Jeno breathes out a laugh, almost soundless exhalation, and then grabs Jaemin's chin to turn his head back to nature.</p><p>"I'm prettier, though," Donghyuck says finally, when the novelty of the view has passed.</p><p>They're surrounded by night already, the moon the brightest thing in the world, even though the light is stolen. Jaemin kind of understands how moths feel, he's absolutely hypnotized.</p><p>Mark snorts.</p><p>"You're so full of yourself," he says to Donghyuck.</p><p>"What you're saying would be a lot more believable, if you didn't look at him in that gross way," Renjun quips.</p><p>"Great, so that's two votes for me being prettier than the moon, anyone else?" Donghyuck picks up right away.</p><p>"Aren't you supposed to be the sun, though?" Jeno asks.</p><p>He's still holding Jaemin's hand.</p><p>"I'll count that as half a vote, thank you, Jeno-ah, I didn't think you saw me like that."</p><p>"What? I'm just saying that the nickname-"</p><p>"Anyone else?"</p><p>"I'm voting for Renjun," Jaemin says, finally dragging his gaze away from the sky.</p><p>"That wasn't even an option!" Donghyuck protests. "It's between me and the moon!"</p><p>"Why Renjun?" Jeno protests.</p><p>Jaemin grins at him with an eyebrow raised in challenge.</p><p>"Should it be you?"</p><p>"I- that's-" Jeno starts, flustered, "…not what I meant," he mutters finally.</p><p>"Oh, then I vote for Renjun, too," Chenle says. "It's kinda gross to like, say it, but he is pretty."</p><p>"Are you nuts?" Renjun asks. "Don't answer, it's a rhetorical question. Just don't pull me into this, I don't wanna compete with the moon."</p><p>"Are you scared you'll lose to Hyuckie-hyung?" Chenle asks smugly.</p><p>Renjun freezes for a second and when he looks back up, his eyes are hard like steel.</p><p>"What did you just say?"</p><p>Jaemin laughs. He can't help it, it's so ridiculous, and he already loves these people with his whole heart.</p><p>"Okay, then Renjun-hyung vs Hyuckie-hyung!" Jisung calls. "Let's vote! Who's in favor of Lee Donghyuck?"</p><p>Donghyuck raises his hand and, after an elbow to the side, Mark does as well. Jisung also holds his arm up.</p><p>"And who's in favor of Huang Renjun?"</p><p>Chenle and Jaemin immediately raise their hands, then after a second of hesitation, Jeno does, too.</p><p>"Okay, so it's three against three," Jisung says. "Huh? Wait, who didn't vote?"</p><p>They all look to Renjun. Renjun hums thoughtfully with a little grin.</p><p>"Let's call it a draw," he suggests.</p><p>Donghyuck stands up abruptly.</p><p>"What did you say, you bastard? Are you looking down on me?!"</p><p>They have a grip on one another's shirts before anyone can blink, and then Jeno and Chenle sigh heavily and separate them with force.</p><p>"Does this happen often?" Jaemin asks, stupidly amused.</p><p>"More often that I'd like," Jisung grumbles.</p><p>"Ladies, gentlemen and others, it's a draw!" Chenle calls out, imitating a sports commentator. "Jisung-ssi, as the referee, what did you think about tonight's match?"</p><p>"It was an extremely vicious fight," Jisung jumps in immediately. "We had no way of predicting the results, and as you see, they exceeded our wildest expectations! Both players have a bit of a sadistic streak, and they obviously don't want to lose to each other! It resulted in a very unprofessional brawl, which is a bit childish, if you ask me-"</p><p>"Park Jisung!" Renjun and Donghyuck roar in unison.</p><p>Jisung gathers himself up and bolts, his squeaky laugh perfectly audible. Renjun and Donghyuck are on his tail in a millisecond. The tourists around them are staring like they've just seen a UFO.</p><p>"So childish," Chenle scoffs in disdain, and lets Mark throw an arm over his shoulders and stir him towards the path leading back down.</p><p>Mark is unable to stop giggling, which only prompts Chenle to perform for longer.</p><p>"Should we head back, too?" Jeno asks.</p><p>He's grinning, his whole face scrunched up from the force of his happiness. Jaemin stares.</p><p>"What about those three?"</p><p>"They'll be fine, don't worry."</p><p>They're still holding hands, and Jeno only lets go when the path makes them walk separately. At least that untamed energy inside Jaemin has calmed down, and he mostly daydreams about his bed, or maybe Jeno's bed, with the two of them cuddling in sleep. He's tired, but in the best of ways. Jeno takes his hand again when they get down from the mountain, and doesn't say anything, leads Jaemin to the guesthouse with sure steps. Jaemin skips a little, giddy, Jeno joins him, and then they're running, Jaemin's shrill laugh trailing after them. They only stop before the main entrance, wheezing and leaning against each other.</p><p>"I'm not massaging you again," Jeno gets out after two failed tries.</p><p>"Yeah, no thanks," Jaemin agrees.</p><p>Jeno chuckles with obvious difficulty and sways a little against him. Jaemin doesn't know what happened to the other five, he doesn't care all that much, either. He has Jeno with him; Jeno who straightens and pulls him close and whispers into his ear, "Stay with me tonight."</p><p>Jaemin can't exactly say no to something like that, can he. He literally can't find even one reason to refuse.</p><p>"You just want a late dinner, don't you," he grumbles anyway, to maintain his image.</p><p>Jeno is still close, his body warm and his hands wicked in Jaemin's hair and on his neck. Jaemin's heart is pounding from more than running.</p><p>"Yeah," he murmurs, his lips catching on the lobe of Jaemin's ear and sending electric zaps through his body, "but I can also get naked and let you take as many pictures as you want."</p><p>Heat pools low in Jaemin's gut. He has never been seduced like this before.</p><p>"Are you a demon?" he manages, a bit strangled.</p><p>"I just really like your food," Jeno huffs in a small laugh, breath hitting Jaemin's cheek in a warm puff.</p><p>"Selling yourself for food, huh. So a slut, then?"</p><p>"Yeah, maybe," Jeno hums.</p><p>Jaemin is going to have a stroke.</p><p>"People are staring," he tries.</p><p>Many tourists have returned from moon viewing and are giving them curious looks.</p><p>"We're just hugging, though?" Jeno says faux innocently, nipping slightly on Jaemin's ear.</p><p>"Let's go," Jaemin says, his lizard brain switching right back to that weird mode from before. All he can think about is getting Jeno naked. "I wanna blow you."</p><p>Jeno pulls away to look at him. Jaemin loves the fact that they're basically the same height. They can be so close. It's a new feeling, a little strange, but exciting. Jeno's eyes are black like the forest, not even the lights from the guesthouse lessening their weight.</p><p>"And then food?" he asks, licking his lips.</p><p>Jaemin can't believe someone like Jeno even exists. He can't do much more than laugh in disbelief.</p><p>•</p><p>If not for the fact the he wakes up surrounded by Jeno's heat, Jaemin would have thought last night was entirely fabricated by his hyperactive imagination. Jeno yawns above him, blindly pawing around under the pillows for his phone to turn the alarm off. Jaemin whines in despair; the sound is awful. Jeno shushes him gently and the noise finally stops. Unprompted, Jaemin's brain serves him the memory of flushed skin and quiet groans from the previous night, of Jeno falling apart under his hands and mouth, and his throat goes dry right on cue.</p><p>"You still have my spare key, right?" Jeno mumbles, yawning again.</p><p>Jaemin makes a vague sound in response, too busy trying to get his shit together to attempt a conversation.</p><p>"Awesome," Jeno says. "Then you can sleep some more."</p><p>Jaemin makes another sound. Jeno gets up and starts dressing himself, making a quick trip to the bathroom. Jaemin watches him sleepily and thinks how much he wouldn't mind all of his mornings forever to look like this. Jeno pads over to the bed again and leans in to kiss Jaemin's forehead. He still seems half asleep.</p><p>"See you later, Nana," he murmurs.</p><p>It's all stupidly soft. Jaemin doesn't know what to do with himself. Jeno giggles at his face and leaves with a little wave. Jaemin glances at his phone. It's six twenty one. Jaemin groans and buries under the covers.</p><p>He sleeps through breakfast. Mark calls him before ten, and Jaemin picks up after the second time, without full awareness of what's going on.</p><p>"Dude, I was starting to think someone kidnapped you," Mark says.</p><p>Jaemin is too dazed to feel guilty.</p><p>"He did, he kidnapped my soul."</p><p>"Are you talking in your sleep?" Mark asks with a disgusted hiss. "That's bad even for your usual cheesiness."</p><p>"Shut up," Jaemin mutters.</p><p>A shut up always works.</p><p>"And I wanted to ask, if I should get you something and bring it to the room," Mark tuts.</p><p>Jaemin wakes up a little.</p><p>"I'm sorry, please, oh greatest hyung in the world, get food for me."</p><p>"Jesus Christ, you're so gross," Mark says, but Jaemin knows he's going to eat breakfast today. "Just be there in fifteen. And no complaining about what I get you."</p><p>"Yeah, okay, thanks," Jaemin agrees. "Oh, and could you-"</p><p>"Coffee, yeah, yeah, I'm not an idiot," Mark sighs.</p><p>Jaemin wisely does not argue. </p><p>Mark shows up in their room fifteen minutes later with food and an Americano, as promised. He also shows up with Donghyuck in tow, which was not promised. It wasn't even mentioned. Jaemin isn't sure he can take all that is Donghyuck at such an early hour. Thankfully, Donghyuck seems to be struggling with the same problem, so they're both kind of subdued, focusing all of their energy on complaining about it being so early. Jaemin doesn't want to know what Donghyuck was doing the previous night that could cut his sleep short, because it probably involved Mark.</p><p>"There is gonna be a bonfire tonight," Donghyuck informs him, lying upside down on Mark's bed, with his head pillowed on Mark's lap, while Mark simply sits there and pets him like it's a thing you do.</p><p>"What's the occasion?" Jaemin asks, somewhat energized after his coffee with three additional espresso shots.</p><p>"Tuesday?" Donghyuck snorts. His skin looks exceptionally pretty bathed in sunlight. "Getting drunk? I don't know, the Parks just like to make a bonfire from time to time, and it's been a while, 'cause we had a busy season. You really lucked out, you get lack of people, the full moon and even a bonfire before you go back."</p><p>Jaemin exchanges a glance with Mark.</p><p>"Yeah," they say in unison.</p><p>"Saturday, right?" Donghyuck asks. "You leave on Saturday?"</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin and Mark say again, this time a little gloomier.</p><p>Donghyuck looks between them curiously.</p><p>"You're both so weird," he decides.</p><p>"You're one to talk," Jaemin grumbles.</p><p>Donghyuck pretends Jaemin didn't say anything.</p><p>"Anyway, how unfair is it, that I have a day off today, but not tomorrow, so even if there's booze, I can't drink that much? It's atrocious, seriously!"</p><p>"I didn't think you knew such difficult words," Mark says with a smirk, but he's still playing with Donghyuck's hair, which kind of ruins the effect.</p><p>"Is it too much for your underdeveloped brain, Mark Lee?" Donghyuck shoots without missing a beat.</p><p>Mark sucks in a sharp breath, scandalized and at a loss for words, and Jaemin sighs. To get so worked up over one sentence, seriously. Jaemin feels only slightly guilty for not making sure Mark is sufficiently prepared for this kind of situations, because he doesn't believe it's possible to prepare oneself for Lee Donghyuck at all.</p><p>Donghyuck glances up at Mark with a tiny, infuriating smirk, and turns back to Jaemin.</p><p>"The bonfires are the only available occasion to put some effort into your appearance in this shithole, so you and I are gonna play a game called fashion week tonight," he informs Jaemin, like it's already been decided ages ago. "Come by my room at six."</p><p>Jaemin doesn't even bother asking, if he has any say in this. Mark has gone back to staring down at Donghyuck the same loving way he stares at watermelons. Donghyuck quirks an impervious eyebrow at Jaemin.</p><p>"Fine," Jaemin hangs his head in defeat. "I'll leave you two alone now, please avoid the general area of my bed."</p><p>Donghyuck twists around to lie on his back and reciprocate Mark's stare.</p><p>"No promises," he mutters offhandedly.</p><p>Jaemin evacuates before he sees something that will leave him with permanent trauma.</p><p>•</p><p>As it turns out, Donghyuck has dragged a reluctant Renjun into his room, too, and when Jaemin knocks and lets himself in, Donghyuck is putting makeup on the ranger's pretty face. Jaemin is so glad he had the foresight to bring his camera.</p><p>"Injunie, look here," he says sweetly, holding it to his face. </p><p>"Don't even talk to me," Renjun mutters.</p><p>He's busy glaring at Donghyuck, but keeps still, while Donghyuck applies lipgloss, anyway.</p><p>Jaemin snaps a few shots, and Renjun moves his glare to him.</p><p>"Okay, done," Donghyuck declares. </p><p>There is a subtle eyeshadow on Renjun's lids, kind of coppery in color, his lashes curled up slightly. He's beautiful. Jaemin takes another picture, with Donghyuck out of the frame this time.</p><p>"Your turn, Mr. Photographer," Donghyuck says, and pushes Jaemin into the chair Renjun manages to vacate just in time.</p><p>Jaemin reluctantly hands the camera over to Renjun and closes his eyes. Donghyuck seems hyped up and determined, there is no way Jaemin could get out of this, if he tried.</p><p>Donghyuck is also, as Jaemin quickly finds out, a real pro, when it comes to putting on makeup. His movements are sure and precise, he doesn't hesitate or mess up even once. When Jaemin is allowed to open his eyes and looks himself over in the full-length mirror hanging on the door of Donghyuck's closet, his eyes are covered with something bright and vaguely sparkly, matching his hair. He also has a very thin eyeliner running out beyond the corners of his eyes. He has never worn makeup before, except for the occasional foundation, so he's absolutely fascinated.</p><p>"Wow, I look prettier than usual," he comments.</p><p>"Don't talk like it's something impossible, you damn fake Adonis," Donghyuck grumbles, but he looks incredibly proud of his work.</p><p>"We're gonna be late," Renjun sighs. "Just do your own face and let's go."</p><p>"We're gonna be fine as hell when we finally do show up, you mean," Donghyuck says. "Jaemin-ah, I assume you didn't bring any nice clothes, so you can take some of mine. Open the closet and pick something out, just more than one set so I can tell you which to wear."</p><p>Jaemin throws an amused look at Renjun, who just rolls his eyes. He's already dressed in what was most probably verified by Donghyuck. Jaemin doesn't think it's entirely normal to dress up for a bonfire of all things, but he obediently opens the closet and starts searching. Donghyuck puts his own makeup on in the meantime, and it's much more sparkly than Jaemin's, compliments his skin tone incredibly nicely. He then looks through the outfits Jaemin pulled out of the closet critically, and finally pushes ripped up jeans and a jacket that looks like aluminum foil filled with cotton into Jaemin's arms with a decisive nod. Jaemin doesn't protest. He leaves his black t-shirt on and starts stripping off the rest. Donghyuck and Renjun both observe him closely. Jaemin refuses to get embarrassed.</p><p>"Could you stop staring?" he asks without looking at them.</p><p>"I should have picked another shirt for him," Donghyuck clucks his tongue.</p><p>"You're disgusting," Renjun says, but he doesn't look away for even a second.</p><p>"Don't you wanna see his abs, though?" Donghyuck asks, like Jaemin isn't standing right fucking there. "Jeno said it's hot. Mark barely has any."</p><p>Jaemin raises his eyebrows at him in disbelief.</p><p>"You can just ask me to show you," he informs Donghyuck. Then, "Did Jeno really say that?"</p><p>"Whipped idiots," Renjun mutters under his breath.</p><p>"Okay, show me," Donghyuck says with an eager grin, completely ignoring the question.</p><p>Jaemin narrows his eyes at him, but lifts the t-shirt. Donghyuck and Renjun let out appreciative <i>oohs</i>.</p><p>"Can't believe Jeno found you first," Donghyuck shakes his head in exaggerated despair.</p><p>Jaemin laughs at the ridiculousness of the situation. Even Renjun stopped being grumpy and is grinning to himself.</p><p>"Can we go now?" Jaemin asks.</p><p>The sky is yellow. The sun, low and hidden behind a layer of harmless clouds, provides just enough light to color them like a sepia filter. It's incredible. Donghyuck and Renjun lead him behind the building, towards the designated bonfire area. There are a lot of people, mostly ones staying in the guesthouse, some random tourists that happened to be around tonight. The bonfire is already going strong despite the day still being bright. Long tables stretch on one side of the huge mountain of burning wood, covered by all kinds of food. It's not for free, apparently, because there is a guy sitting just before the fence surrounding the spot, giving out tickets for an appropriate fee. Jaemin panics, because he didn't bring any money, but Donghyuck pats the guy's arm and tells him, "This dude is with us."</p><p>"A'ight," the guy mutters, then glares at Donghyuck. "I can't believe you didn't have to help with setting everything up because of an off day."</p><p>Donghyuck laughs charmingly and waves his hand around, like he's royalty or something. Renjun rolls his eyes again. The air smells of rich smoke and food. Jaemin is excited.</p><p>They walk around for a while, Donghyuck and Renjun talking to people Jaemin doesn't know and introducing him, Jaemin taking pictures of whatever catches his eye. Just like Donghyuck said, there is alcohol. Mostly beer. Jaemin isn't complaining. He's a bit tipsy and his belly is almost too full by the time he spots Mark's familiar silhouette. It's been an hour or so, he's not sure, but the world has darkened significantly. Fairy lights and paper lanterns hung on trees and the raging bonfire are the strongest sources of light. He'd recognize Mark's casual stance anywhere, though. And because he's a bit tipsy and feels good about everything, he leaves his camera dangling from Renjun's neck without a care in the world, and runs to Mark to jump on his back. Mark was holding a cup of beer and it sloshes around a little, while Mark himself yelps in surprise. Jaemin laughs into his ear.</p><p>"Oh my god- Lee Jaemin!" Mark scolds, a little breathless, but holds Jaemin up, anyway, because he can do literally everything ever.</p><p>Jaemin loves when Mark calls him Lee.</p><p>"Sorry, sorry," he says in a cutesy voice.</p><p>"Just get off," Mark complains. </p><p>Jaemin jumps down and has to hold onto Mark's shoulders to stay upright. Maybe a little more than tipsy, then.</p><p>"Hyung, you're totally drunk!" Chenle screeches in delight, and Jaemin only now realizes Mark was talking to the receptionist before Jaemin attacked him.</p><p>"Mayhaps I am a wee bit," Jaemin admits, placing his thumb and forefinger close to one another to indicate how little.</p><p>"You're trashed," Mark deadpans. "Don't count on me to help you with your hangover tomorrow."</p><p>"P<i>shaw</i>," Jaemin snorts, waving his hand dismissively and almost hitting Mark on the nose in the process. "I'll be fine!"</p><p>"Right," Mark sighs.</p><p>"Then drink with me," Jaemin says. "Let's have fun! Then we can suffer together tomorrow."</p><p>Mark looks down at the beer dripping down his hand and then shrugs, and downs whatever's left in the cup.</p><p>"Fine," he agrees. "Come on, Chenle-ah."</p><p>"Hell yeah!" Chenle crows. </p><p>Jaemin isn't sure what happens for a while after that, but he's having fun. There are people all around him, it's loud and joyful, and the sky is sparkly and inviting. He realizes he still hasn't seen Jeno yet, but it's a fleeting thought, and Jisung hyperventilating because of giggling too much quickly diverts his attention. Renjun shows up out of nowhere to hand him an inhaler and pat his back. He's still carrying Jaemin's camera, so Jaemin doesn't think he has to be concerned about it. Mark pulls on his arm and they sit close to the fire on a tree trunk that was polished with sand paper to make it more suited for a bench. Mark is sipping on beer, humming with content, warm and solid against Jaemin's side. Jaemin stares into the fire, pulled in like a moth, small and fragile, but lacking self-preservation instincts. He's hypnotized; the world spins under him and he can almost feel it.</p><p>And when he finally manages to look away, he immediately locks eyes with a pair of dark, intense ones. Jeno is standing almost opposite, a little off to the side, but close enough to have his black clad body occasionally lit by the flickering light of the flames. Jaemin's mouth is as dry as the wood crackling in front of him. He might combust any second.</p><p>Jeno is wearing a face mask, which hides his expression, but his eyes seem to be dancing. Jaemin digs his fingers into the makeshift bench underneath to stop himself from leaping into the fire. Jeno's waistline, accentuated by fitted turtleneck held in place with his high cut jeans and a belt, is what drags Jaemin's gaze to itself, almost with the same compelling force as the flames did. It's a battle to go back to Jeno's face, and this time, Jaemin's breath gets a little lost, forgets its purpose for a few seconds that feel like hours.</p><p>If he was more rational, more down to earth, he'd dismiss it as something tricky and easily explainable. But he's not, and he swears Jeno's eyes reflect the shifting light of the fire for just a moment, as if he was a beast of the wild; that they hide secrets no mortal has a way of knowing. With the black of his attire, Jeno seems to bleed into one with the night. A being of the woods, barely comprehensible to Jaemin's mind, at the edge of his consciousness, never fully understood.</p><p>"I don't even wanna know what you're thinking about right now," Mark says suddenly, leaning in to speak over the chatter of people around them, "but dude, you have it bad."</p><p>Jaemin doesn't even bother arguing.</p><p>There is a stretch of time that escapes him, as usual when he drinks enough, but it doesn't matter at all. Not when the next thing he knows, he's pressed into the darkness by Jeno's warm body, and he can touch that waist, circle it with his arm, get it closer.</p><p>"Your eyes," Jeno pants out between feverish kisses. </p><p>He has lost his mask somewhere between then and now, and Jaemin thinks that's a brilliant outcome.</p><p>"What about them?" Jaemin asks, slurring his words a little.</p><p>It's hard to focus on talking, when Jeno slowly but surely strips him off of reason.</p><p>"Sparkly," Jeno huffs out eloquently, presses another bruising kiss into Jaemin's mouth. "Pretty."</p><p>Jaemin hums, pleased. The world is spinning above him now as well.</p><p>"Hyuck did that," he says. "I like it, too."</p><p>"You're freaking unreal," Jeno tells him, his teeth scraping along Jaemin's jaw.</p><p>"I love it when you almost swear," Jaemin giggles.</p><p>He feels so good and so sleepy. Jeno's mouth slows down considerably, trailing down his neck, gentle. Jaemin's head falls back against the tree Jeno propped him up on. He closes his eyes and lets out a blissful sigh.</p><p>Jeno goes back up and Jaemin makes the effort to look at him, although the only source of light is the moon, so he doesn't see as much as he'd like.</p><p>"You're so drunk," Jeno snorts.</p><p>Before Jaemin can think of a suitable response, Jeno's tongue is in his mouth, lazy and thorough, and Jaemin melts. He's not sure how long they kiss like that, but by the time Jeno pulls away, he can barely breathe. He can also barely keep his eyes open.</p><p>"Nana," Jeno murmurs. He's keeping Jaemin close, arms secure around him, and Jaemin never wants this to end. "Wanna sleep?"</p><p>Jaemin doesn't. He wants to have fun. It's so sad that he's tired.</p><p>Jeno huffs a soft laugh into his hair.</p><p>"You've had plenty of fun already, though," he says. "It's almost one in the morning. I'm gonna help you get back to your room, yeah?"</p><p>Jaemin shakes his head as efficiently as he can manage. If he has to sleep, he wants to sleep in Jeno's bed and cuddle and be warm.</p><p>"Okay," Jeno says. "Let me just call Mark, okay?"</p><p>Jaemin nods. Jeno doesn't let go of him, while he fishes the phone out of his black jeans and picks Mark's number. Jaemin zones out a little, but he hears most of Jeno's answers, like <i>of course he is, these brothers are hopeless</i> and <i>just don't leave him...</i> and <i>yeah I'll take this one and…</i> and <i>okay text me</i>.</p><p>"Come on, princess," Jeno says finally, to Jaemin this time, because it wouldn't make sense, if he called Mark princess, would it? Was it even Mark he talked to? How does Jaemin feel about being called princess? He's so tired, thinking is way too much for his brain right now. "Hold onto my neck, okay?" Jeno instructs.</p><p>Jaemin does, and the world whooshes around his ears, the stars bleeding together, as if he entered hyperdrive, like those starships in the Star Wars movies. He doesn't think he likes it. Jeno giggles again, and Jaemin realizes he's being carried through the woods bridal style, Jeno's hold strong and seemingly effortless. Jeno might actually be capable of going into hyperdrive, because Jaemin blinks once, and he's being put back on the ground, except it's not the ground but the floor of Jeno's room.</p><p>Jeno gently ushers him into the bathroom, telling him to pee and brush his teeth, because it's going to be a lot worse being forced awake in the middle of the night by a full bladder. Jaemin follows the instructions in a daze, then accepts a glass of water and an aspirin handed to him after he gets out without a single protest, focused solely on crawling into bed. Jeno doesn't let him sleep so easily, though, and Jaemin begrudgingly sits still through the makeup removing action.</p><p>"You're like a big baby, seriously," Jeno complains, but Jaemin thinks he's amused, too, so it's fine. "Stand up, you can't sleep in that."</p><p><i>That</i> are Jaemin's, or rather Donghyuck's, ripped jeans, that Jeno wrestles off of his legs. He also pulls the shiny jacket off his shoulders, and when Jaemin is left in his black t-shirt and underwear, he's finally pushed down on the bed. He wriggles under the covers, grumbling to himself the whole time. He thinks Jeno says something else, but before he can process the words, he's pulled under, surrounded by warmth.</p><p>•</p><p>"I'm never drinking again."</p><p>"I'll bet you five thousand won that you say that every time you have a hangover."</p><p>Jaemin groans, head in his hands. He is not going to take that bet. He doesn't even have the strength to turn around and glare at Jeno, who apparently has a day off and is glued to Jaemin's back, witnessing his pathetic hungover state instead of being at work.</p><p>"Oh god, you're too hot," Jaemin groans.</p><p>"Thank you," Jeno says cheerfully, but creates some space between them, anyway, because he's good like that.</p><p>"I can't believe you pick now of all times to be able to accept a compliment," Jaemin mutters.</p><p>His stomach rolls. He sits up carefully, and that helps improve the situation the tiniest bit, so he sighs in relief. It's still not as bad as his hangovers usually are, and he thinks that it has something to do with Jeno taking care of his absolutely trashed ass last night, but his memory is hazy at best.</p><p>"Want water?" Jeno asks, not rising up to the bait.</p><p>"Yes, please," Jaemin mumbles politely. He watches Jeno stand up and walk over to the kitchenette. "Why didn't you drink, if you have a day off today?"</p><p>"I did," Jeno says, shooting him a grin far too attractive for this time of life. "I just didn't do it to the point of almost passing out."</p><p>"I was just sleepy," Jaemin grumbles defensively.</p><p>"Sure," Jeno allows and hands him the water.</p><p>Jaemin sips on it and sits there, on Jeno's bed, surrounded by Jeno's scent, until he doesn't feel like dying quite as much anymore. Jeno spends that time sitting next to him and playing with his hair. The sky is thankfully curtained with a thick layer of grey clouds, sparing Jaemin from going blind from sunlight. It's almost eleven already, which means Jaemin missed breakfast again.</p><p>"Do you know what happened to Mark last night?" he asks.</p><p>Coffee feels like the most urgent need he's ever had.</p><p>"Well, if you were <i>sleepy</i>, then Mark totally passed out," Jeno laughs a little. "Donghyuck dragged him and Chenle back to your room to make them sleep it off. I don't think they're awake yet."</p><p>Jaemin smirks to himself. Talking Mark into drinking was the best idea, he's much more of a lightweight than Jaemin, no wonder he drank himself unconscious.</p><p>"I guess I'll make breakfast," Jaemin says.</p><p>Now that his stomach has calmed down, he's craving something super unhealthy. And coffee.</p><p>"Really?" Jeno perks up, eyes round and sparkling. </p><p>"We had a deal, right," Jaemin reasons. "By the way," he says, after dragging himself off of the bed, "did you figure out what you want for that other deal?"</p><p>Jeno flops down on the bed and hums to the ceiling.</p><p>"Yeah," he says, and Jaemin's stomach swoops in a not at all unpleasant way, "I want you to come back here sometime."</p><p>"Doesn't count," Jaemin dismisses.</p><p>"What, why not?" Jeno raises his head to look at him in question.</p><p>"I was already planning to do that either way," Jaemin shrugs. "Think of something else."</p><p>Jeno doesn't speak for a minute, and Jaemin leaves him with his thoughts to take a piss and brush his teeth. He can't believe Jeno made him brush his teeth last night and even removed his makeup. That's some true dedication, especially that Jaemin only recalls it vaguely, but he's well aware he behaves like a little kid, when his initial hype after drinking passes. Jeno must have been so done with him, and he still took the time to properly prepare Jaemin for bed.</p><p>Jaemin kind of wants a shower, but it can wait until after breakfast. Jeno is still sprawled on the bed, when he exits the bathroom.</p><p>"I want a picture," Jeno says.</p><p>Jaemin leers.</p><p>"Wouldn't a video be a better wanking material, though?" he asks, trying for casual.</p><p>Jeno sits up abruptly with his face already red.</p><p>"I didn't mean it like that!" he screeches. "Why are you such a pervert? I just want a picture of your stupid face, is that so weird?"</p><p>"Okay, okay," Jaemin raises his hands in a placating gesture. "Fine, you'll get a picture of my extremely beautiful face. What else?"</p><p>"Huh?" Jeno tilts his head to the side in confusion.</p><p>Jaemin squashes the sudden urge to bang his head on the nearest wall. He should be getting used to Jeno's adorableness already, dammit.</p><p>"I said you'll get a picture," he manages, throat tight, "but it's just a picture. I can send you a million of them once I go back home."</p><p>Jeno's face transforms into what Jaemin views as dawning realization.</p><p>"You-" Jaemin starts and has to pause and close his eyes to calm down a little. "You didn't even think that far, did you. Oh my god, Lee Jeno, we have each other's contact info. I mean, it's fine if you don't want any contact with me after I leave, but it's an option. We can text. Hell, we can even call each other," he makes jazz hands and adds as mystically as he can, "<i>Technology</i>."</p><p>"Okay, I get it, just shut up already," Jeno grumbles, pressing his hands to his face in shame.</p><p>Jaemin grins to himself.</p><p>"That's why I'm asking, what else do you want?" Jeno lets out a troubled groan, so Jaemin focuses on the refrigerator, but he turns around not five seconds later, "Unless! We could make a video together-"</p><p>Jeno's protesting wail cuts him off effectively, and Jaemin gets back to his mission, cackling like mad. </p><p>It's a while later, when they're sitting on the floor and waiting for the ramyeon to stop being burning hot, that Jeno looks at him and says, "Stay with me, then. Your last night here. Spend time with Mark-hyung today and tomorrow, and then come here and stay with me. That's what I want."</p><p>Jaemin stares at him in shock.</p><p>"I can't believe you just said something so embarrassing with a straight face."</p><p>Jeno gets flustered immediately.</p><p>"I didn't- was it embarrassing? It wasn't that bad, right? Anyway," he clears his throat, "are you okay with that?"</p><p>"Hell yeah," Jaemin grins, "I won't let you sleep, be prepared."</p><p>Jeno busies himself with a portion of the noodles to avoid having to answer. Jaemin doesn't think he will ever get used to the adorableness.</p><p>•</p><p>He spends the rest of the day suffering through Mark's miserable grumbling, only it's worse, because Chenle is also there, and he's equally as miserable. He won't even let Jaemin tease him, shutting him down at every attempt, and it's generally a lot, so Jaemin calls Jeno to come by their room after he does whatever it is he had planned for today after their morning talk. Jeno shows up with Renjun in tow, and Renjun shows up with Jaemin's camera, which instantly improves his mood.</p><p>They trick him into making food for all of them, of course. Jaemin would feel worse about it, if it wasn't for the fact that Renjun promises to provide Jisung for him to harass later.<br/>It's a fun day, considering. Mark and Chenle bury themselves under Mark's covers and continue dying quietly after being fed, and Jaemin is left with Jeno and Renjun, which proves to be the greatest combination.</p><p>They talk about anything they can think of, hobbies, books, aliens, the weather, hairstyles. They also trash talk Donghyuck and Mark, since one of them isn't there and the other is only alive to some extent. It starts raining at some point, and Jaemin relishes the peaceful atmosphere, especially when Renjun finally lets him lie in his lap, and even pets his hair a little. Jeno's laugh is the most fantastic thing on this side of reality.</p><p>Donghyuck and Jisung join them in the evening, after they've finished work. Mark and Chenle have come back to mostly functioning in the meantime. Jaemin immediately latches onto Jisung and doesn't let him go despite whiny protests.</p><p>No one goes back to their rooms for the night. Donghyuck drags extra blankets and pillows out of some mysterious place, and they camp out on the floor, eating snacks and talking shit, until they start dozing off one by one. Jaemin lies there, surrounded by the warmth he's never known existed until now, with Donghyuck almost choking him to death in his sleep on one side, Mark's back pressing into him from the other, and half of Jisung occupying his chest. Jeno grins at him from where he has his head pillowed on Mark's legs, the other half of Jisung covering him rather efficiently. Renjun is off to the side, tucked under Donghyuck's arm. Chenle starfishes with his hand smack dab on Mark's face. Jaemin wants this night to last at least a century.</p><p>•</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Here I am," Jaemin declares dramatically on Friday, spreading his arms wide in Jeno's door.</p><p>"Seriously, you're such a weird dude," Jeno laughs, letting him inside.</p><p>Jaemin has hung out with Mark for the whole previous day, as agreed. They hiked, ate, talked, annoyed each other, watched some dog videos and sat in comfortable silence to their hearts' content. They were kind of tired of each other after all that, so Jaemin spent Friday morning and afternoon with Renjun and Donghyuck, mostly talking about how men are trash. Renjun in particular had a lot to say on the topic. And now it's evening, when the world is somewhere in that hazy place of not fully aware, but not asleep yet, either. It's their time, as Jaemin dubbed it privately in his head. It's the time when Jeno thrives the most, when something inside him <i>awakens</i>.</p><p>"So?" Jaemin asks, sitting on the edge of Jeno's bed.</p><p>"So?" Jeno repeats, confused.</p><p>He must have just gotten back from work, because he replaced his shirt with a white sleeveless tee, but the cargo shorts are firmly in place on his hips, and - Jaemin's stomach flips - he hasn't pulled off the knee high socks yet, either.</p><p>"I owe you one more meal, right?" Jaemin reminds him, trying to look at anything other than Jeno's crotch or shins. "What do you wanna eat?"</p><p>Jeno's eyes light up immediately.</p><p>"Surprise me?" he suggests.</p><p>Half an hour and a discussion about shoes later, they're sitting on the floor around Jeno's low coffee table. There is a lull in the conversation that Jaemin uses to take another bite. Jeno uses it to ask, "Do you wanna fuck me?"</p><p>Jaemin's chopsticks miss their target, and he ends up poking his cheek a good inch away from his mouth.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>It's the second time Jeno has said fuck in his presence during the entirety of two weeks.</p><p>"Shit, sorry," Jeno giggles somewhat hysterically. "I didn't mean to just dump that on you out of nowhere."</p><p>"You- did you- do you- that-"</p><p>Jeno's grins widens. He reaches over to grab Jaemin's hand and lower his arm, probably to prevent him from accidentally gauging his own eyes out. Jaemin would be grateful, if he wasn't so busy being shocked.</p><p>"Your face is really dumb right now, you know," Jeno tells him.</p><p>"Do you mean that?" Jaemin blurts out. "We've only known each other for two weeks!"</p><p>"We've already had sex, though?" Jeno reminds him, a little confused now.</p><p>"Yeah, but that was- it's different," Jaemin says. His head is a mess; he's not sure what he's saying at all. "Are you sure you're okay with that?"</p><p>Jeno raises an eyebrow.</p><p>"Are you sure <i>you're</i> okay with that?" he asks. "You have some issues, right? I'll respect it, if you don’t wanna, I just thought it'd be fine, since you've gone all the way with girls before."</p><p>“No, I mean- yes, it’s totally, absolutely fine,” Jaemin stutters. “It’s just- well-”</p><p>“Jaemin-ah,” Jeno says. His fingers are still wrapped around Jaemin’s wrist. It’s so hard to focus. “I trust you not to hurt me and you trust me to tell you, if I don’t like something, right? Isn’t that all this is about?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Jaemin’s throat is very dry. “Yeah, of course.”</p><p>Jeno smiles at him, and Jaemin suddenly can’t wait to drag him to the bed. They gather their empty plates to dump them carelessly in the sink.</p><p>“You did that on purpose,” Jaemin accuses suddenly. He sips on the water he poured for himself just to do something with his hands.</p><p>“What?” Jeno asks innocently.</p><p>Jaemin narrows his eyes at him.</p><p>“You said fuck on purpose.”</p><p>Jeno blinks, but his mouth twitches.</p><p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”</p><p>It’s kind of hot he noticed Jaemin’s reaction to him swearing all those days ago and remembered to use it to his advantage. Jaemin stares at him for a second, then places his half empty water glass somewhere, hoping for a remotely suitable flat surface and not thin air. There is no sound, so it’s safe to assume he made it. Jeno is standing there and looking at him with the darkest eyes, and Jaemin failed to notice the moment the overhead light was switched to the bedside lamp. He grabs Jeno’s hand and pulls, and Jeno gives easily, like he’s been waiting for just that. They end up on the bed with their lips already pressed into one another. It’s kind of frantic, Jaemin’s blood humming in his ears. Jeno’s hands are everywhere.</p><p>Jaemin pulls away to look at Jeno’s flushed face. His eyes are a bit glassy already, unfocused. Jaemin’s skin feels too tight for the rest of him.</p><p>“I want you so bad,” he breathes out, at least half accidentally.</p><p>Jeno exhales a laugh right into his mouth, his tongue following right after. Jaemin lets it get to his head way too quickly. He rids Jeno of the tee between one kiss and another, then they’re both suddenly shirtless.</p><p>“The shorts,” Jaemin pants out. “Please, throw them away somewhere I can’t see.”</p><p>Jeno chuckles, his hands disappearing from Jaemin’s hair to fumble with the hideous clothing that still looks unfairly good on him. Jaemin glances down just in time to grab Jeno’s forearms and stop him from slipping off the socks as well. Jeno raises an eyebrow at him, eyes dancing with mirth.</p><p>“Shut up,” Jaemin says.</p><p>Jeno snorts, but leaves the socks alone, reaching for his underwear, and then he’s naked – well, mostly – underneath Jaemin, chest heaving with quickened breaths.</p><p>Something occurs to Jaemin suddenly.</p><p>“Shit, tell me you have condoms.”</p><p>Jeno’s eyes widen and Jaemin almost slumps in disappointment. Jeno doesn’t let him, giggling into his shoulder.</p><p>“I will throw you from your balcony,” Jaemin threatens. He feels a little lightheaded. “Where are they?”</p><p>“In the top drawer, next to the shirts,” Jeno says, still stupidly amused, pointing at his dresser.</p><p>Jaemin gets up to retrieve the condoms and finds lube right next to them. Then another thing occurs to him. He turns around to squint at Jeno and is quite proud of himself for only getting distracted for a second with all that pale skin.</p><p>“You told me you haven’t been in town for like, a month,” he says. “Where did you get these? And when?” he shakes the unopened box a little.</p><p>Jeno looks sheepish.</p><p>“A week ago? In the store?”</p><p>“Lee Jeno,” Jaemin warns.</p><p>Jeno sighs.</p><p>“I wasn't the one who bought them.”</p><p>Jaemin needs a few seconds to process the implications. He ignores that Jeno has apparently been thinking about having sex with him for a week for now, because the <i>other</i> implication is way more urgent.</p><p>“Oh my god, did you tell Donghyuck to buy you condoms?!”</p><p>Jeno averts his gaze.</p><p>“Worse,” he mumbles.</p><p>Jaemin stares at him in horror. Jeno glances at him when he doesn’t get a response.</p><p>“I might have told um, Chenle? To buy me condoms?”</p><p>Jaemin almost drops the box.</p><p>“He’s been asking me, if we already used them the whole time,” Jeno adds.</p><p>Jaemin joins him on the bed finally.</p><p>“You’re so dumb,” he says, stunned. “Donghyuck would have been so much better!”</p><p>“I know,” Jeno whines and spreads his legs a little more, and Jaemin forgets what they were talking about. Jeno notices. Of course he does. He reaches out his arm and murmurs, “ C’mere,” and Jaemin listens without a second of hesitation.</p><p>They kiss again, but it’s not so heated anymore. It’s still hot, but slow and purposeful, and easy. Being with Jeno is most of all easy, simple, un-awkward.</p><p>“How do you wanna do this?” Jaemin asks, right back to being breathless.</p><p>“Gonna be easier, if I turn around,” Jeno purrs into his neck, fingers messing with his nipples.</p><p>“Yeah, okay,” Jaemin agrees dumbly.</p><p>Jeno pulls away from him, flashes him a quick grin and twists around on the bed, until Jaemin has a full, unobstructed view of his ass. The curve of Jeno’s back makes his mouth water. He couldn’t hold back from touching, if he tried, and he doesn’t try at all. Jeno lets out a soft sigh, when Jaemin’s hands run down his sides, thumbs following the dip in his spine. Then he gasps, as Jaemin reaches his ass and squeezes lightly. Jaemin leans in to bite a bruise into the soft skin. Jeno squirms a little and opens his thighs wider, sinking into the bed, the muscles in his calves shifting. Jaemin is so very glad he stopped Jeno from taking off the socks.</p><p>“Nana,” Jeno whines, and Jaemin realizes he’s been taking his sweet time exploring, when they’re both so turned on already.</p><p>He reaches around to Jeno’s front to touch him, and Jeno hisses, snapping his hips. He’s so hard, he’s leaking all over the bed. It’s a little fascinating. Jaemin tightens his hold and moves his hand, and Jeno whines again, a little higher pitched. Jaemin lets go of him after a few strokes.</p><p>“What do I do now?” he asks, even though he knows, in theory.</p><p>He just wants to see how Jeno will react.</p><p>“Oh my god, just put your dick in my butt,” Jeno groans. “I thought you knew your stuff.”</p><p>Jaemin huffs a little laugh and shushes him gently, running a hand down his back.</p><p>“Tell me if it hurts,” he says, and reaches for the lube.</p><p>Jeno shifts a bit again, when Jaemin touches him carefully, his other hand on Jeno’s buttcheek, pulling it to the side for better access. Everything is slippery and soft. Jeno’s breath hitches at the first finger entering him, but he doesn’t complain about pain. Jaemin figures he doesn’t have to be so cautious. Jeno has a whole new set of sounds for when his ass is touched, as Jaemin quickly finds out. They’re a lot softer and higher than the ones he lets out when Jaemin touches his dick. That’s fascinating, too.</p><p>“You good?” Jaemin asks, two of his fingers knuckles deep in Jeno.</p><p>“Yeah,” Jeno huffs out, fists clenching the sheets around his head. He’s so fucking warm. “You can-”</p><p>Jaemin scissors his fingers and resumes the thrusting, and Jeno whimpers, his whole body jerking suddenly. Jaemin grins to himself and searches for that spot again, and soon, Jeno is writhing and whining under him, with three of Jaemin’s fingers working him open.</p><p>“Wait,” he pants out after a while.</p><p>Jaemin stops immediately.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Absolutely nothing, you idiot,” Jeno laughs a little, turning over his shoulder to look at him. His face is flushed, and his bangs cling to his forehead with perspiration. Jaemin wants him to turn around fully. “S'just that if you don’t stop, I’ll cum.”</p><p>“Oh,” Jaemin says intelligently. Right, they were supposed to fuck. “Oh, okay.”</p><p>Jeno’s eyes are like the night, but Jaemin still notices the mirth in them. He grabs Jeno’s arm and rolls him over. Jeno makes a surprised sound, but goes easily.</p><p>“If you wanna do it like that, then wait a sec,” he says. Jaemin does as he’s told, while Jeno grabs one of his pillows and places it under the small of his back. “You can do whatever you want to my ass later,” he adds, casual to a fault.</p><p>Jaemin nods. He feels like someone hit him in the head with something heavy, like a brick or maybe a piano. Jeno smiles at him and pulls him in. They kiss, bodies close, and Jaemin realizes belatedly that Jeno managed to get his pants to his thighs. He wrestles out of them, then out of underwear, distracted by Jeno’s mouth on his chest. He also realizes how hard he is, and how consuming it was to watch Jeno while giving him pleasure. Jeno’s body is going to be the death of him, Jaemin is sure.</p><p>“Ready?” he asks after rolling on a condom.</p><p>Jeno leaves his nipples alone and stretches back on the bed, and Jaemin’s brain short circuits. Jeno is enjoying his reactions, judging by the constant smirk. Jaemin grabs those goddamn calves and Jeno lets him spread his legs like it’s nothing.</p><p>“Okay, let’s get it,” Jaemin says, and Jeno laughs.</p><p>It turns into a groan as soon as Jaemin enters him slowly.</p><p>“And?” he asks with concern when he’s fully inside Jeno.</p><p>It’s so warm and so tight and kind of overwhelming, honestly. Jaemin used to think it wouldn’t be much of a difference between a vagina and an ass. He’s not sure, if that enormous difference is because of body parts or because it’s Jeno’s body parts, though.</p><p>Jeno breathes out and settles more comfortably.</p><p>“I shoulda let Donghyuck buy me that dildo for my birthday,” he informs Jaemin.</p><p>Jaemin feels utterly defeated.</p><p>“You say I’m weird, but you’re totally weird, too,” he says.</p><p>He wants to move. It’s hard to think clearly.</p><p>“At least we match.” Jeno shrugs a bit awkwardly because of his position and gives Jaemin a lopsided grin. “It’s kind of a strange feeling, but doesn’t hurt. Go ahead.”</p><p>Jaemin doesn’t ask again, rolling his hips just a bit to get a feel, to figure out what’s good for them both. Jeno’s breath catches in his throat, and Jaemin does it again.</p><p>“Shit,” Jeno pants out. “This is so weird.”</p><p>“Want me to stop?” Jaemin asks and already feels sad even thinking about stopping now.</p><p>Jeno shakes his head and pulls him down, clinging to Jaemin’s neck. It’s more difficult to move like this, but Jaemin guesses Jeno needs them to be close for now, so he stays put, circling his hips in tiny movements. Jeno kisses him a few times, short but deep, until he can’t breathe properly, and they just share the air between them. Jaemin ducks to suck on Jeno’s neck and gets a content sigh in response. Jeno’s arms loosen from around him, and he straightens, his thrusts stronger now. Jeno gasps and whines and claws Jaemin’s arms, then knees, fists the sheets.</p><p>“Less weird?” Jaemin grounds out.</p><p>Jeno nods furiously. Jaemin snaps his hips and bends down and kisses every inch of Jeno’s skin in his reach and thinks, <i>no one has ever done this to him before, no one has ever figured out he likes it hard before</i>. It feels fucking groundbreaking. With the smell of sex and sweat and flowers around, with the warmth surrounding him, with the sound of sheets rustling and Jeno’s moans in his ears, Jaemin feels a little like on that mountain peak, overlooking the world. The biggest difference is that he’s not just a mere witness to the divine; he’s a part of it. Sex has never been this before, it’s always been just another human activity, and Jaemin thinks it’s all because Jeno isn’t just another human being.</p><p>“Nana,” Jeno whimpers, only that, only his name, and Jaemin is falling faster than he ever could from that bridge hanging over clouds.</p><p>They must have shifted between all of that desperation, all of that sensation, and when Jaemin moves again, Jeno’s back arches from the mattress as he cries out. He’s breathtaking. Jaemin fixes his hold on one of the socked calves and aims for the same spot over and over, watching Jeno lose his mind underneath him. It’s exhilarating. He almost can’t hear all the sounds with the blood pounding in his ears.</p><p>“Nana,” Jeno moans again, “touch me.”</p><p>Jaemin obediently drops one of his legs to stroke his cock, and it doesn’t take long before Jeno breathes out, “Gonna cum.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jaemin encourages, “cum for me, kitten."</p><p>He doesn’t stop moving even for a second, even when Jeno’s orgasm hits, and the cum gets everywhere. Jaemin watches, transfixed, heat pooling low in his gut at the way Jeno looks, muscles taut and a whine spilling from his mouth. He clenches around Jaemin to the point of it being almost painful, and Jaemin fucks him through it, chasing his own satisfaction. Jeno moves with him, but he quickly gets sluggish, skin glistening in the warm light with sweat and cum. Jaemin doesn’t need much to climax then, a few hard thrusts and Jeno whimpering from oversensitivity, and he works himself through it, but pulls out when Jeno’s noises rise in pitch.</p><p>“Why did you stop?” Jeno asks, drowsy and confused.</p><p>Jaemin blinks down at him.</p><p>“Doesn’t it hurt?”</p><p>Jeno shrugs a little.</p><p>“Was an interesting feeling,” he admits.</p><p>Jaemin is going to have a stroke.</p><p>“Good to know,” he chokes out. “You know, for when I do whatever I want to your ass later.”</p><p>Jeno grins and stretches languidly and it’s glorious.</p><p>“Clean me up,” he says. “I can’t feel my legs.”</p><p>Jaemin snorts, but grabs the baby wipes Jeno must have put on his makeshift bedside table sometime before and cleans him rather thoroughly, getting up only to get rid of the condom and get them both some water.</p><p>“Mark told me you’re pretty popular,” Jeno says, leaning back against the bedpost and sipping on his water. “You know, with women. I get it now, I think.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Jaemin asks, leaning back next to him. </p><p>They both wiggle their toes a bit, and it looks kind of funny, because Jeno still has his socks on.</p><p>“You’re very attentive,” Jeno says, “You notice things, like how someone reacts and stuff. It makes me wanna trust you, so I guess it’s the same for girls. And your face isn’t bad, either.”</p><p>Jaemin stares at his glass with something warm stretching his chest.</p><p>“My face is incredible, thanks,” he grouses, because admitting no one’s ever told him something like that feels like too much right now.</p><p>Jeno laughs and nudges him with a warm, muscular arm, and Jaemin wonders, if Jeno’s fingers would feel better in his ass than his own to stop thinking about the speed of his fall.</p><p>•</p><p>"Can I ask you something?" Jaemin whispers, because he doesn’t want to assume.</p><p>It’s close to dawn and he has confirmed that Jeno’s fingers are not only pretty, but can also do incredible things. </p><p>Jeno hums, a vague agreement, and nuzzles his face into Jaemin's back. </p><p>"How do you feel about all this?"</p><p>
  <i>About me?</i>
</p><p>"I feel great," Jeno purrs.</p><p>He doesn't understand, Jaemin realizes, and anxiety twists his insides, but he makes himself clarify. He needs to know.</p><p>"No, not the sex, I mean- sex, too, but I was asking about this… thing. Between us. And," he hesitates for longer, "me. How do you feel about me?" </p><p>Panic slams into him as soon as he gets the words out, and it's so very strange, because he rarely lets himself entertain that vulnerable side of him, and only Mark has ever been persistent enough to see it out of everyone in Jaemin's life. Jeno is just… there, and yet, Jaemin willingly shows him all his ugliness without even being asked to. He doesn't know, if it's because he's craved such intimacy with someone who hasn't known him as long as Mark has, or because Jeno's readiness to accept everything Jaemin throws at him lured him into a fragile sense of safety and his walls just crumbled. Perhaps it's just the thin hour, scrubbing him raw until he needs Jeno to see that he's barely anything more than bones right now.</p><p>Jeno is quiet for a long while, but he notices how stiff Jaemin's body went and places a warm hand over his erratically beating heart.</p><p>"I think," Jeno starts and pauses, and Jaemin stops breathing in anticipation. "You've been a lot of my firsts, Jaemin-ah," Jeno says finally. "And don't freak out, but I think that in a way, I'll always love you."</p><p>Jaemin doesn't really understand, but it's still too much for him to handle. He untangles Jeno's arms from around his waist and sits up, looking down at Jeno's entirely too serious face.</p><p>"Love me?" Jaemin repeats, uncomprehending.</p><p>His breathing is barely keeping up with the way his heart pounds in his chest.</p><p>Jeno makes an expression Jaemin doesn't get, then pushes himself up to be on the same level as Jaemin and look him in the eye. Jaemin regrets moving from that embrace; eye contact with Jeno feels disastrous right now.</p><p>"There are all kinds of love, right?" Jeno says. They have switched off the lamp at one point and in the harsh light of the slowly shrinking full moon, he looks like a being from a different dimension. "And I think they're absolutely unique depending on the person you're experiencing it for. I mean, no, it doesn't have to be a person. It can be a thing, an animal or a feeling."</p><p>"A feeling?" Jaemin repeats, not sure, if he follows.</p><p>Jeno turns his head to look out at the night sky instead of Jaemin, and Jaemin can focus a little more easily, although Jeno doesn't look any less ethereal right now. </p><p>"Well, you can love feeling warm. Or safe. It's a completely legit thing to think or say, right? And it's still love. It's just as much love as when I say that I love Lee Donghyuck or that I love my birds or I that love cheeseburgers."</p><p>Jaemin has never thought about love this way, but it's not that it doesn't make sense. It's unique, very Jeno-like, and Jaemin's heart clenches painfully again, because he got attached when he knew better, and now it's going to hurt more. He should have kept thinking about sex and hold these feelings at bay until he’s out of here instead of asking.</p><p>"People make love out to be this mystical thing, but then claim they love stuff all the time and they suddenly mean it in a lighter sense," Jeno continues. Jaemin's eyes slip down to the row of dark marks he sucked into the skin of Jeno's neck, and something hot seizes his gut. He makes himself look up at Jeno's face, because it's not the time for that right now. Not when he was already stupid enough to start this. "I think they're equally as important, you know? Every kind of love." Jeno glances at Jaemin and smiles, and Jaemin's chest loosens wonderfully. "And what I feel for you is hard to put into words, but it's a kind of love, too. So, yeah," he clears his throat, suddenly a bit awkward. "I'm glad I met you and I'm also a bit sad we only had two weeks. But what can you do, right?" he grins, a little crooked, a little wistful.</p><p>"That's why I said you're weird, too," Jaemin huffs. "Leave it to you to make me question everything I believed in until now." He grabs Jeno's hand, trying to tame the sudden urge to hold onto something before the world slips out from under his feet. "I'll miss you," he admits sincerely. He laughs; it’s bittersweet. "I didn't expect... all this, you know? I guess I'll always love you in a way, too?"</p><p>Jeno's grin widens until his eyes close completely. Jaemin doesn't feel so bad anymore. Jeno clearly doesn't regret what happened between them and he might have gotten less attached than Jaemin. Or maybe his fall didn't have such speed. Either way, Jaemin doesn't feel like he's about to grab these two weeks and take off with them anymore. They share ownership; he's not the bad guy.</p><p>"Is it weird that we're so emotional?" he asks with a little snort. "It's only been two weeks."</p><p>"Yeah, but," Jeno scoots closer to drop his head to Jaemin's shoulder, "I used to think it always takes time, and Renjun told me I'm dumb, because emotions and feelings are such an abstract thing, you can't look at them with logic and reason. And of course he was right, because he always is," Jeno chuckles quietly. "So I stopped thinking that, for example, you can only be in love with someone you've been with for a long time."</p><p>Jaemin's heart does a few flips before he tells himself it doesn't mean Jeno's in love with him. He probably isn't. They’re still easy and simple, and Jaemin can consider his own complications once he’s back home.</p><p>"That makes sense," he mumbles, his hand sneaking up into Jeno's hair on its own.</p><p>Jeno sighs in content and Jaemin wishes he could stay here, in this pocket of time, tiny bubble between worlds, with Jeno's warm body and warmer smile, for all eternity. </p><p>He wishes Renjun wasn't always right.</p><p>•</p><p>The goodbyes feel strange, like they shouldn't be taking place at all. It has only been two weeks, and yet it feels like a lifetime. Renjun cries and tries very hard to pretend he didn't. Jisung also looks a little teary eyed, but he holds Jaemin's gaze boldly and tells him, "You'd better visit, hyung."</p><p>Chenle is all over the place, in turns laughing and protesting at this turn of events. Donghyuck presses his forehead into Jaemin's hard and mumbles, "If you don't answer my calls, I will find you and cut your balls off with a butter knife."</p><p>Jaemin giggles nervously at that and promises to be good, letting Donghyuck drag Mark into a secluded spot to probably make him lose his mind via aggressive make out session.<br/>And then there is Jeno, sweet and free, like summer wind. Jeno, who walks up to Jaemin and pulls him into a tight hug that smells of wildflowers and sunlight. Jaemin buries himself into the embrace. He wants to live there. He wants to dig a little hole in Jeno's warm chest for himself and stay there forever.</p><p>"Let's make another deal," Jeno murmurs, quiet, just for Jaemin's ears.</p><p>Jaemin hums in acknowledgement, because if he speaks, he might join Renjun, sobbing softly off to the side.</p><p>"First, let's promise not to lose touch," Jeno says, and Jaemin blindly puts up his pinky finger, which Jeno circles with his own and squeezes. "Second, whatever happens, let's see each other again before a year is up. If you don't come here by then, I'll come find you instead. Deal?"</p><p>"Deal," Jaemin whispers.</p><p>Jeno releases him, his eyes bright, curving into half moons with the force of his grin.</p><p>Donghyuck finally brings Mark back, smug and messy. Mark isn't faring any better, his neck littered with bruises and mouth swollen red. He looks dazed, too, barely able to get his shit together to exchange goodbyes with the others. Jeno approaches him, claps a hand on his shoulder and says, "I love you, dude, never change."</p><p>Chenle and Donghyuck let out loud gasps.</p><p>"Holy shit, Jeno never tells anyone he loves them," Chenle exclaims. "That's amazing!"</p><p>Jeno glances Jaemin's way, sends him a poorly executed wink. Last night crawls up to Jaemin's throat and tightens, but he manages to grin.</p><p>He busies himself with harassing Jisung and Renjun to deal, and Renjun actually accepts his hug, laughing a little wetly.</p><p>"Stay safe on the way back!" Jisung's mother calls after them from the porch.</p><p>It makes Mark pause and look her way with wide eyes. Jaemin smiles, his heart thumping loudly, satisfied. He throws his arm over Mark's shoulders, and yells back, "Yes, noona!"</p><p>Jisung groans miserably and Jaemin snickers at him. He and Mark finally make themselves get in the car. There is a lot of waving and shouting through open windows, silhouettes of their new friends getting smaller and smaller, until the nature swallows them up.</p><p>The first thing Jaemin notices is the quiet. It used to be like that all the time, but it doesn't feel right anymore. Mark's hair reflects the sun, swishes around in the flowing air. Jaemin finds his sunglasses and puts them on.</p><p>"I should have kissed him," he says, out of nowhere.</p><p>Lost chances, regret snuggling in between his ribs like an old friend.</p><p>Mark squints at him for a second, his gaze sliding back to the road right away.</p><p>"Yeah," he says, and they both know the <i>should have</i> covers much more than a simple goodbye kiss.</p><p>There is a pause. Silence filling the gaps, like it hasn't done for so long.</p><p>"We have to go back there some day," Mark says.</p><p>"Yeah," Jaemin agrees.</p><p>But it feels like running into an acquaintance you haven't seen in a while and saying <i>we have to meet some time to catch up</i>, when both of you know it's nothing more than a figure of speech.</p><p>•</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As expected, Jeno communicates mostly with random thoughts and cat memes. Jaemin doesn't mind at all. It's a sweet sort of ache, to carry long conversations without seeing each other's faces. They call sometimes, spend the whole night on the phone, and after the third time, Mark sternly tells Jaemin to do that on the days he doesn't have to get up at an ass o'clock in the morning to go to his shitty part time job.</p><p>It's October already, but the weather doesn't seem to have gotten the memo. It's not as deliriously hot anymore, but the summer is still going strong, as if to make sure Jaemin doesn't forget those two weeks for even a second, even though it was almost giving up when they first arrived at the guesthouse.</p><p>The house is suffocating. They came back after a breath of fresh air to a space that's humid and heavy with bad memories, which haven't yet been overshadowed by the more pleasant ones, the ones from <i>before</i>. Mark buries himself in things to do just to get out, and when he can't do that, he either drops on his bed to sleep off his exhaustion or sits on the porch out back and looks ahead at nothing in particular. He lets himself be pulled into smoking again, too, but Jaemin threatens to go back to the streets, if he doesn't stop. And the only thing Mark hates more than being inside the house is the thought of Jaemin out there, alone and barely surviving. So he stops. They're like two birds that caught a whiff of freedom once and now are slowly dying in their cage.</p><p>Jaemin's engaging in Mark's favorite pastime one day, sitting outside with his sunglasses on and staring the sun in the face. Ending summer stretches inside him, bleak in a dangerous sort of way, almost as if he might forget everything he's supposed to be.</p><p>Mark walks out to the porch and says, face almost crumbling, "Let's sell the house."</p><p>Jaemin offers him a supportive grin and says, "I'll order pizza, if you don't cry."</p><p>Mark nods.</p><p>"Jaemin-ah," he mumbles half an hour later, mouth full and tears streaming down his face, "are we gonna be fine?"</p><p>Jaemin hums, takes another bite, chews carefully, swallows.</p><p>"We're already fine, though, aren't we? Which means we're gonna be more than that, we're gonna be fantastic."</p><p>Mark nods, gets the food down his throat with some difficulty and reaches for another slice.</p><p>They are fine. Even if Mark isn't going to stop struggling with his parents' death anytime soon, even if they have no relatives that would support them without waiting for a chance to grab anything of value Mark was left with for themselves, even if Jaemin is back to feeling nothing but regret, just multiplied by the number of days those two wonderful weeks had, which feels like a lot more than the number of days any other two weeks have ever had. They're fine, they have each other and they're going to survive.</p><p>•</p><p>It's almost November, then. Mark is busy dealing with the house sale with Johnny and Dongyoung's help. Jaemin goes to his shitty job every day, a jacket on his shoulders and a scarf around his neck. There hasn't been a single word from Jeno in ten days.</p><p>Jaemin knew they were eventually going to drift apart. He knew, and yet, he's still disappointed. He makes sure not to think he's in love, even in passing. It would be such a silly thought, with all those other, much more important things going on. It would be so stupid to be in love with a boy who was never supposed to be his from the very beginning. They were perfectly aware of the nature of their relationship. Two weeks, nothing more, an occasional phonecall or message after they went back to their respective lives. Even though Jaemin spent those two weeks in Neverland, and Jeno didn't have to go back to anything, because he was already there. Has always belonged there. Therefore, Jaemin isn't in love. He just doesn't like his life very much. He'd just rather live on Jeno's balcony or in his pocket, maybe. Just that. Nothing more. The summer has ended a long time ago.</p><p>"Don't you wanna go back to school?" Mark asks one day.</p><p>Jaemin nearly pulled a muscle carrying boxes from the supply truck into the store, where he has his shitty job at, and is now lying on the floor, face down, a cooling pack on his back.</p><p>"We talked about this, hyung," he groans. "I don't have enough money for school."</p><p>"Jaemin-ah."</p><p>Jaemin chances a glance and, as expected, Mark's mouth is pulled down into a thin line.</p><p>"Don't," Jaemin says only.</p><p>He's too tired for the conversation about taking Mark's family's money for his own needs. It has happened so many times already, and Mark still doesn't understand the amount of Jaemin's gratitude. That if he took any more, he couldn't bear it. He's constantly tired, lately.</p><p>Because Mark respects his decisions, however reluctantly after so many arguments, he indeed doesn't. He only kicks Jaemin's foot on his way out of the room. They're fine.</p><p>It's Friday, which means Jaemin can even sleep on that floor, if he chooses to, because Saturdays are his off days. He can rest and go back to browsing better job offers tomorrow. He zones out, not thinking about anything of importance. He's not sure how long he stays like that, but his back is numb by the time the doorbell rings.</p><p>He hears Mark make his way to the hallway, then the door open and then-</p><p>"Oh my god, this is not fucking happening right now! Are you shitting me? What the fuck!"</p><p>Jaemin instantly gets intrigued. The only people who visit them are Johnny, Dongyoung, sometimes Yuta and the mailman. Mark doesn't react this way to any of them. His heart starts pounding for no reason.</p><p>"Jaemin-ah!" Mark calls. There is shock and laughter in his voice. "Get your lazy ass over here!"</p><p>Jaemin parrots him soundlessly, indignant, but gathers himself off the floor without telling Mark it wasn't up to him to lie on it in the first place. His back must be better, because Jaemin can only feel a slight pain pull at him, when he moves. He barely registers it, much too preoccupied with guessing and hoping.</p><p>"Lee Jaemin!" Mark yells again, impatient.</p><p>Jaemin rolls his eyes, and walks out of the room. He can see Mark standing in the open door, but the corner of the hallway prevents him from seeing their guest. He feels a little dizzy from excitement.</p><p>But even that building emotion doesn't prepare him for seeing Lee Jeno on their doorstep.</p><p>"MOTHERFUCKER!" Jaemin exclaims, the word pulled out of his throat. He has so much he wants to say, that it's all confusing, and he's stunned for just a second. "What the fuck! Are you nuts?! Are you absolutely fucking insane? What are you doing?! How is this happening?"</p><p>And Jeno, standing there in all his pale glory, with grin blinding and hair almost white, only laughs like a lunatic.</p><p>"Okay, let's just get inside first," Mark says quickly. "Before we get another noise complaint."</p><p>Jaemin wants to glare at him for being an A grade hypocrite, since he was just shouting obscenities himself just a minute ago with the door wide open, but he can't take his eyes off of Jeno to even do that much.</p><p>"You changed your hair," Jeno says, still giggling like he's gone mad.</p><p>Jaemin gestures at his head that used to be covered with black just a little over a month ago.</p><p>"No shit," he deadpans. "Are you preparing camouflage for the winter? You wanna turn invisible? Is that it?"</p><p>Jeno just laughs again, and finally steps inside, only to crash Jaemin in a tight hug. He still smells like flowers warmed by the sun. Jaemin is going to cry.</p><p>Jeno raises his head and pulls away just enough to look at him. </p><p>"I liked the pink, but blue suits you better," he says with a brilliant smile.</p><p>Jaemin wants to kiss him, but he doesn't know where they stand, when they're here, in the real world. The hallway of Mark's house feels wrong for them. Jeno laughs a little again, and presses their foreheads together.</p><p>"Why are you hesitating now? We had sex a week into knowing each other."</p><p>"Gross," Mark notes. Jaemin forgot he was there for a bit. "I'll just, uh, you know, I'll go and… um, bye."</p><p>Jaemin refuses to look away from Jeno's face, so he mostly hears Mark leave them alone instead of confirming it with his sight. Jeno isn't smiling anymore, even if his eyes are.</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Jaemin murmurs. "I thought you," he pauses. </p><p>He's not sure that he wants to really start crying right now.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Jeno says immediately. His hands cup Jaemin's face. "We promised to keep in touch and I know I messed up. There is an explanation, but I don't wanna make excuses. I'm really sorry, Nana."</p><p>Jaemin exhales. The chance of him crying isn't as ominously big anymore.</p><p>"I want them, though," he says with a provocative grin.</p><p>"Huh?" Jeno asks.</p><p>"Give me the excuses, Lee Jeno," Jaemin tells him.</p><p>"The weirdest dude on the planet," Jeno snorts and boops Jaemin's nose with his own. "So the excuse, right?" Jaemin nods. He feels like he's floating. "Okay, well, it all boils down to me grabbing my phone only when I had to, because I literally had no time to do anything else on it. I don't know if you've heard, but Hyuck has been sick the past two weeks-"</p><p>"That little shit!" Jaemin cuts in, scandalized. "He didn't tell me anything and we talk almost every day!"</p><p>"You do?" Jeno asks, blinking at him adorably.</p><p>"Yeah!" Jaemin huffs, then deflates a little, "well, mostly about clothes and boys… but he could have mentioned it!"</p><p>"Huh," Jeno says, rubbing Jaemin's arms absently, "I'd think he'd wanna complain, he always complains about everything."</p><p>"Exactly!" Jaemin agrees. </p><p>"Well, anyway, he's been sick, and so have some of our other staff, a flu season or something, and with Jisung and Chenle gone for school, we're so understaffed I could barely catch any sleep. Renjun would kill you in three seconds flat, if you walked up to him to ask for anything, and the Parks are too busy to even search for some new employees. It's crazy, man, I'm telling you."</p><p>"But they let you come here to visit?" Jaemin asks incredulously.</p><p>"I mean, Hyuck feels better now, so I made him take over for a bit," Jeno shrugs with a shit eating grin. "Also, I'm not here just to visit."</p><p>"Okay?" Jaemin says unsurely. "Then why?"</p><p><i>To tell you he will never see you again</i>, Jaemin's brain suggests evilly. Jaemin shakes off the thought.</p><p>"Mark-hyung should be here for that, actually," Jeno says.</p><p>He seems strange, kind of hopeful maybe. Jaemin doesn't know what to think about that. </p><p>"Hyung!" he yells. "Come back here for a sec!"</p><p>Mark peeks out from the kitchen and joins them when he deems it safe enough.</p><p>Jeno steps away from Jaemin to look at both of them.</p><p>"I was actually sent here," he admits with a small smile. He looks nervous now. "To ask if you'd be willing to work for the Parks. I know it's kinda ridiculous and out of nowhere, and you probably have stuff that keep you here, but auntie took a liking to Jaemin right away, and I know you're capable and that we could use your skills at the guesthouse and the park."</p><p>Jaemin stares at him in stunned silence, heart wild, and he knows Mark is equally as shocked.</p><p>"I, uh, also know that you're selling the house," Jeno continues a little awkwardly, when he doesn't get any response. His eyes are wide now.</p><p>"How?" Mark asks faintly, then clears his throat. "How do you know that?"</p><p>"From Chenle," Jeno says.</p><p>Obviously. Mark and Jaemin decided not to tell anyone they're selling the house before the deal was finalized, so even Donghyuck, whom Mark texts every other second, didn't hear anything about that. Jaemin is sure Mark knew Donghyuck was sick and just didn't tell him, the traitor.</p><p>"Right," Mark rubs his forehead with a sigh. "Of course."</p><p>Chenle has a way of knowing things, of finding out what no one else can possibly find out. He must have been the one to subtly suggest the Parks employ them. Jaemin mentally scans their group chat to make sure he wasn't the one who spilled, but they rarely talk about anything of importance there, so that couldn't have been the case.</p><p>"That's why I came here," Jeno adds, unnecessarily. "Would you consider it at least?"</p><p>Jaemin and Mark exchange looks. Jaemin shrugs and nods, barely able to keep still with this exciting development hitting them right in the face. They were on a good way to destroy their cage, but now maybe they won't need to look for a new one. Mark blinks owlishly at the floor for a second, but Jaemin can see the smile forming in the corners of his lips.</p><p>"You don't have to answer now," Jeno adds quickly.</p><p>They're still standing in the hallway, which seems silly with such an important conversation going on. Mark finally looks at Jaemin again and nods.</p><p>They're doing this. They both want to be free.</p><p>Mark can't hold back anymore and he grins at Jeno, shrugs just like Jaemin did a minute ago and says, trying for casual, "Why not? I heard Donghyuck is beautiful during every season."</p><p>Jaemin and Jeno let out identical coughs that fail to cover up their snorts. Jaemin feels like he's going to burst any second, and it's from something disgustingly positive this time, not regret.</p><p>"What?" Mark frowns. "Did I say something weird? But it says that on the park's website? Right?"</p><p>Jeno places a hand on his shoulder and says gravelly, "I don't think it does, no."</p><p>"Hey, I've read a lot about the park and I'm sure I saw that Wolchul-"</p><p>Jaemin can't hold back his laughter anymore. Mark throws him a glare and begins to search the apartment for his phone.</p><p>"I'm gonna find it, just you fucking wait," he mutters, mostly to himself.</p><p>Jaemin and Jeno leave him to it. Jeno reaches out to hold Jaemin's hand, his fingers as warm and wonderful as they were in the summer.</p><p>"You know," he murmurs, for only Jaemin to hear. They're so close all of a sudden. That feeling of something more, of sweeping past time, of bottomless universe just under his feet creeps up on Jaemin out of nowhere. It settles over him like a thrilling but familiar traveler cloak. Jeno's lips brush his ear, when he leans even closer and whispers, conspiratorial and full of mischief, "I bought new socks."</p><p>Jaemin's stomach swoops. He didn't kiss Jeno goodbye, but he does kiss him <i>hello again</i>.</p><p>•••</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>who can tell I watched 13 reasons why recently? lol</p><p>all kudos and comments appreciated!!<br/>come scream @ me on Twitter <br/>https://twitter.com/rnbowpan?s=09</p></blockquote></div></div>
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